Calvin
• • •
Saturn always had perfectly manicured fingernails. French, I think the girls called them. Flawless crescent-shaped white tips. She tapped them on the desk, deep in a daydream, I supposed. There was a faint smile on her lips. I wondered what she was pondering. Perhaps if I was lucky, it was me.
I'd allowed Saturn to sit at my desk so she could read me the shipment numbers of several new books we had received in a recent order. I could tell she was growing weary of the task, but this was her job, after all. I couldn't allow myself to feel guilty for boring her.
While guilt was not the only emotion I had surrounding Saturn these days, it was the most predominant one. I felt guilty for inviting her to my dormitory only to have her reveal a dark memory from her past. I felt guilty for not mentioning the fact that I'd been the one to bring her home from Lianna's party. I felt guilty for being two-faced to her, and leading her to believe I merely wanted to be her friend.
With this new shipment of books to sort, I had both Zaire and Saturn working. As they got to work I sat in the back room on the computer, attempting to sort the files. After all I'd put her through, I'd decided to let Saturn manage the books rather than the piece of rubbish that was the computer. Still, I wished she were the one sorting files, she seemed much more efficient than I was.
Suddenly, a hushed conversation stole my attention.
"Shh, the door is open!"
"Don't you want him to hear?"
"Of course not!"
I supposed the "him" was me, and that whatever the two were discussing, I would want to hear it. I slowly moved to the doorway, pressing my back against the wall to hear them better.
"It was nothing, okay?" I heard Saturn hiss, "I went to his room because he asked me to. We barely spoke. He told me he doesn't even want to be my friend."
"That's because he likes you!" Zaire exclaimed, ignoring the hushed atmosphere Saturn was attempting to create.
"Have you lost your mind?" Saturn asked, "He doesn't like me. He doesn't even respect me. He treats me like a waste of space."
My guilt swarmed.
"Think about it, Saturn," Zaire pleaded, "He watches you nonstop. He invited you to his dorm. He thought I was a threat until he saw me with Henri. He likes you, I'm sure of it."
There was a long pause. I decided it was time to put this to rest. I went back and sat at the computer. "Saturn, come here," I called out into the main room. I heard Zaire chuckle, and Saturn's light footsteps approaching.
"Yes?"
She looked astonishing as usual, leaning against the doorframe.
"How did you sort the books by genre that you've yet to read?" I asked, making up a question on the spot.
"I've read them all," Saturn shrugged. I narrowed my gaze at her. "Fine," she emphasized, "I looked at the cover, the title, and the synopsis. It should be quite obvious."
She may have been astonishing, but sometimes, Saturn boiled my blood. "If it is so obvious then perhaps I should have you organize the files rather than sorting the books with Zaire," I threatened.
"I'd rather not," Saturn said, "good luck." She turned on her heel, having had enough of me.
"Wait, Saturn..." I caught her just as she left the room. She peeked her head back through the doorway.
"You should come over tonight," I suggested.
Saturn looked bewildered, and it was all my fault. "Why should I do that?" she asked.
"Well, these files won't sort themselves," I said, "the new list is going to take hours, and needs to be submitted to my mother by the end of the day." This was a white lie, my mother did not need the book list. But, I needed an excuse to make things right with Saturn.
"Okay," She agreed, "but you'd better pay me overtime."
I chuckled. She looked surprised. I supposed I didn't normally do so much as grin while she was around. That may have been the answer to my predicament. If I smiled more, perhaps Saturn would too.
I allowed her to return to Zaire, and resumed my own position listening by the door.
"Oh, I heard it all," Zaire was saying, amusement in his tone, "he invited you over again."
"It's only to organize the new files," Saturn responded, sounding somewhat disappointed. Maybe I should have just been direct with her, rather than leading her to believe I wanted her to work overtime.
"Don't you see, Saturn?" Zaire asked, "he wants to spend time with you."
Zaire could read me like a book, it was frightening. It was true, I was trying to be compassionate towards Saturn, in my own way.
I was going to fix this.