Calvin
• • •
I had no way of confirming that Saturn would come to the shop today, but somehow, I was certain she would.
I hadn't taken her phone number, her email, or anything of the sort. I just had a feeling she would show.
I unlocked the shop during my free period after lunch. The little bell dinged overhead. I scowled. I'd been meaning to get rid of it since the moment I began working at the shop last month.
I flipped the sign to "open" and made my rounds through the shelves, checking that there were no books out of place.
Saturn, what have you done?
Somehow, in the short hour I had her working here, she had managed to rearrange the entire store by genre. This would simply not do, as I needed to have each author and their location on file for the shop's records.
Letting out a frustrated breath, I decided to leave the books alone. When she arrived, which she inevitably would, I would make Saturn put the shelves back in order.
I began my work at the desk. At the shop, spreadsheets were my strong suit, so Mum had me doing all the shop's accounting work. It took hours, but the pay was worth it.
The doorbell sounded.
I glanced up from my computer screen, only to see Saturn walking through the doors as if she'd worked here for years. Her appearance made my cold expression falter. She looked...majestic. Her small lace-trimmed dress hugged her at the hips. Her pale skin looked stark against the black of the dress and her hair. I didn't speak as she crossed the store. She had stolen every critique off my tongue.
"Hello," Saturn said, standing over my desk. I stood. I much preferred looking down on her.
"Afternoon," I said curtly, coming around the desk, "follow me, please."
Saturn followed me closely. Her obedience made up for her lack of sense. Still, I needed employees. There would be weeks when I wouldn't be able to work at all, and I knew Saturn would keep the shop in order, even if it meant adding her own spin here and there. I wondered if Zaire would show. I needed him trained before October came.
I stood before the first bookshelf. "What have you done to my bookshelves?" I asked.
Perhaps this came across as rude, because Saturn frowned. I hadn't meant to upset her. "I organized them by genre," Saturn said softly. She was so shy, it amused me.
"Did I ask you to organize them by genre?" I asked, wondering how far I could take this before she began to cry.
"No," she mumbled, staring at her shiny black shoes.
I allowed the silence to consume us. I wanted her to consider her actions. It was intriguing to watch her react to my words.
"I've decided to keep it this way," I told her after many moments of contemplation.
Saturn looked up from her shoes. "Really?"
"Yes, finish it, now," I replied, turning my back on her. I heard her begin to resume her work eagerly. I smiled to myself. I enjoyed how quick she was to do as I asked.
I sat back at the desk, having tacked on an extra two hours of work for myself by allowing Saturn to fuck around with my bookshelves. I wasn't sure why I allowed for it, perhaps it was just to keep her busy. On a slow day, there really wasn't much to do at the shop, which is why I preferred to be there alone. Unfortunately, this was no longer an option.
It was difficult to focus with Saturn so close. I stole glances at her as she weaved in and out of the shelves, methodically sorting them by genre. I held my tongue as I felt the strong urge to go back on my decision to let her do so. Instead, I focused my efforts back on my spreadsheet for the month. Perhaps I would request for Saturn to remodel our digital records seeing as she was so keen on organizing things.
When I finished with the spreadsheet, I decided it would be wise for me to get a bit of reading in. The Commander had asked that we all showed up on the first of October having read the handbook. I flipped it open, feeling the pit of relentless dread return to my stomach.
"What are you reading?"
I quickly shoved the handbook back into my bag. Saturn stood over the desk once more. "Nevermind that," I said, "I need you to do something else for me." I signed a breath of relief. She hadn't seen the handbook, or else she'd surely ask questions, right?
I led Saturn to the back of the shop, into a small room that was home to the shop's singular desktop computer. "I need you to reorganize the books in our files now," I said.
"What?" Saturn sounded defeated.
"This was your doing," I reminded her, "don't argue with me. The computer is slow, but it will work. The files are on the desktop. You may begin."
I left her alone in the dark, dismal room. A pang of guilt struck my stomach, mixing with the dread. I was so cold recently, but I knew it wasn't my fault. Saturn would have to forgive me.
"Calvin?"
I had only just made it back to my desk when she stopped me in my tracks. My name sounded otherworldly on her tongue.
"Yes?" I called towards the room.
"It's dark in here."
"Then by all means, turn on the lights," I replied. Saturn seemed like the type to be afraid of the dark.
There was a small flick and the room was illuminated with light. I preferred to work in the natural light of the window, but apparently Saturn disagreed. I prayed she would find the files without trouble. I needed to get a headstart on the handbook in peace.
I shuddered as I read the daunting quotation on the first page. "Live to fight, fight to live." Although it was completely illegal for us to be deployed, training at this academy was known for being extreme. When my father registered me, I was exactly seventeen and nine months old. The very first opportunity that it was legal. He wanted me trained young, just like he was as a boy.
Spreading out my training throughout my years at school was the only option, meaning that I would be absent for many weeks throughout the term. This was why I needed Saturn. If not for my employees, the shop would have to close for weeks at a time, and I couldn't do that to my mother. She was already worried sick about me, and leaving the shop behind to pursue her retirement in Scotland.
Mum didn't need to worry about me, though she still called several times a week to ask me if I had my bags packed for my first week at the base. As much as she refused to believe, I would be safe. Many people in my program were finished with it after their four years, but others continued into the senior program, and were requested on very real, very dangerous missions.
"Do you need me to do anything else?"
Fuck. How did I allow for her to keep sneaking up on me like this?
I glanced down at my watch. How had she managed to finish sorting the files in less than an hour? "As long as you're satisfied with your efforts, you may go read," I said.
"Why don't you just let me leave?" Saturn asked. I raised an eyebrow at her. It was brave of her to test me like that. "I only mean that it seems I'm bothering you," Saturn added, "I'm surprised you'd like me to stick around."
I sighed. I truly didn't wish for her to hate me, but it was inevitable at this point. "You don't bother me," I said softly, "I am keeping you so that you get an additional hour of pay. I know you could use it." I hoped I didn't come across as insulting.
"Oh, thank you," Saturn said. She sounded genuine. My anxiety lifted.
"Wait," I said, catching her before she left to read, "where is your friend today?"
Saturn looked puzzled for a moment. "Oh, you mean Zaire? He's coming by later to drop off the paperwork you need. I can message him and ask him to come sooner, if you'd like."
"That's alright," I said, "but Saturn, I do think I should have your phone number...we'll need to plan your shifts around my absences."
"Why will you be absent?" Saturn asked, slowly walking back to the desk.
I swallowed. I hadn't come up with an excuse for the staff yet. "That doesn't concern you," I said lamely. Hell. I sounded like such a prick.
Saturn pulled out a black pad of paper. I'd noticed her carrying it around when she was here earlier in the week. How obscure.
"Here," she said, passing me her phone number written in neat printing on a roughly torn slip of paper. I pocketed it.
"Thank you," I said, "that will be all."
Saturn nodded, heading over to the reading area. I could tell she was merely tolerating me in order to keep the job she so desperately needed. The realization made the pit of guilt in my stomach swell.
She probably thought I was tolerating her too. If that were the case, he would have been sorely mistaken.
I did not tolerate Saturn, I hungered for her.