#Chapter366
Asshole of epic proportions. I still do not know why I kissed her. Can’t even begin to analyze how it felt now the immediate feelings are fading from memory. When I try to, I get this huge overwhelming heavy blackness, which is pretty damn close to an all-out panic attack and I am so not ready to face that yet. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her though. That in itself has been driving me to the brink of insanity, and I wish I had never done this to myself. Opened that can of worms and let a million crazy feelings leach out from the recess of my mind, where I didn’t even know they had been lying dormant all this time. It’s no longer a clear-cut case of ‘don’t feel that way about her’, it’s now more of a ‘how much do I feel that way about her’ and ‘how long has it been without me knowing it’. The pros and con list on either side of this dilemma are huge, and I cannot navigate it, it’s all too much, too overwhelming, and insane.
