#Chapter139
You're Safe
I hate that he can make me feel this way, a new storm swishing around inside of me and I have to stop myself from glaring at him. A new surge of conflicting pain and I resist the urge to slap him. I sit back in my chair and pull my legs under me, hauling my body in tight to self soothe, calm the torrent of crazy, and try not to stare at him, or throw shade. It's hard when he's right there, yet feels a thousand miles away, and my own emotions are in uproar. I can't even pick a side and stick to it.
I want to be mad at him and hate him, I have every right, but when he's near I can't stop this overwhelming pain and heartbreak he causes me, although right now, I've added compassion and empathy to that mix, and I'm dying inside for him. Even while cursing him. I want to ease his own pain and as stupid as it seems, I'm devastated he's closing me out like it has nothing to do with me. I'm so confused at my idiot thoughts and responses.
