Many times in our lives we feel trapped, even though to someone else, or maybe even to yourself looking back, it looks like there is an easy way out. I couldn't see any. No matter what action I took right now, my life wouldn't get better. Not for a long time.
"Big sis, do you want to go out with me?"
"W-What are you saying all of a sudden?"
The two of us, me and the brat, had almost nothing in common, except that we happened to live in the same house. For just over seven years, I think. Almost half my life and two thirds of his.
"Let's go to the park down the road, big sis."
What kind of dumb idea is that? It's cold and the middle of the night.
"I'm going to sleep."
I got up to leave.
"When's the last time big sis has had some fun?"
"…"
"Big sis is always locked away studying."
"I didn't have a choice, did I?!"
"I'm going to the park. Is big sis going to come with me or not?"
If he's going anyway, it would be dangerous him go by yourself.
"Fine, but make it quick. If we get caught, I'll never forgive you."
The two of us were soon out of the house. Unlike me, this brat had his own key to the house so he could go in and out whenever he liked.
"Fuu- it's cold."
"Big sis can hold on to me to stay warm."
"As if I would do that!"
"Shh- not so loud, big sis."
We made our way to the park.
There were not lights on the way and the darkness made me felt uneasy.
"D-do you go to the park often?"
"My mum used to take me when I was younger, but I'm a bit too old for that now. These days my friends and I just use it as a place for meet ups."
"Your mum's takes night-shifts during the week days right?"
"That's right."
"I can't imagine working like that…"
"She used to do it so that she could take me to school, but it's become kind of a habit. She likes her work though, so I guess it's alright."
We talked all the way to the park.
"Alright let's go home, big sis."
"What?"
"Didn't big sis tell me to 'make it quick'?"
"But, isn't there anything you want to do?"
"Is there anything big sis wants to do?"
That's right. He bring me to the park to have fun... At least, that seems to be his intention. In that case, there is something that I wanted to try…
"…the swings."
He took my hand.
"Let's go, big sis."
"I can walk by myself."
"It's dark, so we might be separated."
The chains on the wings felt like ice.
Even if it was because I didn't want to increase the risk of getting caught, staying outside in this weather with a short sleeve shirt and shorts was a bad idea.
"Kya!"
"Big sis?"
"I-It's nothing."
The seat was so cold that it sept straight through my clothes!
It is quiet now that neither of us speaking. The only thing you could hear were the cars going along the main road on the other side of the park.
There's no moon today, so the night is dark. You could make out outlines of things, but you'd be out of luck if you wanted to know what colour something is.
"Hey, big sis, could you tell me your dream again?"
"…I want to live by myself far away."
"What will you do for work, big sis?"
"I won't work. I'll eat wild berries and live that way."
"But, big sis will need money."
"For what?"
"For clothes, for a house to live in, for furniture – at least a bed, for soap-"
"I get it. Sorry I asked."
"Don't be annoyed big sis, how about this? My dream is to become a doctor. Mum said that if I did that I would be able to make enough money to buy my own house some day."
"Your own house! I know it's a dream, but be more realistic – houses cost are in the hundred thousands. Even with my parents wages combined it would take years to afford a house."
"That's if you try and buy it completely with your own money, big sis. If you have a well paying job, the bank will give you a loan to cover part of the cost of the house. It's called a mortgage."
"You really researched all this? That's pretty cool."
"I'm serious about it. My grades right now are high. I'll work hard an get into med school. Then… I'll ask big sis out."
"Where?"
"On a real date. I haven't had a single dream without you in it, big sis."
"Oh? And when you have these dreams do you wet yourself?"
"H-how did you know? Does that happen to big sis too?"
"As if, idiot! That's just a wet dream. Boys get them all the time during puberty."
"Even if that's the case, I still care about big sis."
"…Thanks. I had fun tonight. Let's go home now, ok?"
And so we made our way back.
For some reason, I feel happy.
Even if I feel trapped, as long as I can dream, and listen to other people's dreams, I think I'll alright.