Chapter 9: A Simple Answer.
Walking around aimlessly I arrived at Roak St. - The place I was beaten up previously -, my mind simply cannot comprehend my previous exchange with Kaula, or more like I can't accept it. I felt betrayed and let out, but at the same time, I understand her. I can understand the word danger after all
I… I just wish she has shared that burden with me and not just by herself, I want to help too. I have feelings, you know.
I scan my surrounding with my eyesight.
People are walking all around but there seems to be a certain distance, a zone if you will keep them at least two meters away from me, like dodging a plague. People do not want to be dirty even if they are only a bit wealthier than true rats.
Finally, I found my way into a dark narrow path filled with trash and the like. I then lean against a wall to sort out my string of thoughts.
"Sigh…" with my head bow down a deep sigh escaped my mouth as I can't no longer hold my frustration, a melancholic smile appeared on my face.
I look up at the wall filled with graffiti, the whole alleyway was filled to the brim with various kinds of trash, usually, he would try to dig in these piles to find some leftovers.
But now that seems a bit… unnecessary, I felt like I had been drunk my whole life and only woke up from my delusion and finally took a glance at my reality.
I walk forward and dive deeper into the dark abyss called poverty. There is plenty kind of people here, from orphans to homeless elderly.
This city… maybe the whole world has this problem. There is no need for a capitalistic world to give birth to these problems after all.
These problems are like a concept… a law that has always existed from the dawn of time, an unchangeable fact. No matter how perfect society is, there will always be someone who suffered.
I didn't dare to say what he has experienced was the worst, since I have seen true nightmares.
===
Lost in thought, Aeter wanders in the slum area for a long time.
Seeing an old man offering a can to put some pence or even just piss. Aeter didn't even give him a tiny part of his attention, not because he looked down on them but because it will change nothing.
He has been plenty of things in his lifetime, he has seen old people dying left and right, dirty children begging or stealing for money, young girls that were raped and killed, prostitutes luring customers to what seemed like a trap to sell their organs, gang fight also happens often and resulted in a bloody mess, …
He may be felt sympathy for the people suffering when he was a new rat, but now he can only look at the sideline. He used to want to help and tried to improve the life of the people, but he realized soon enough, he can't he simply can't.
While the people in the outer wall were living a life just for the sake of living. He still has a family, his younger sister, he can't simply put those strangers above his love for his only family.
There was nothing he can do, there was not enough food for the both of them so he has to starve, the water was the first to run out so he has to stop drinking water and stay thirsty until they get more water, there wasn't enough money for them to stay anywhere so he has discovered a new home -the scrapyard -, the list goes on and on.
How can he afford to care about all those people suffering when he himself also suffers?
Slowly he understands their struggles. And realized what they doing was for one simple sake
That was also the time when he awaken his Mark. .
Born to survive, live to thrive, and die with satisfaction.
That was what he realized.
He still thinks that the things they did were unscrupulous and simply immoral in every single aspect, you can't defend those actions just by saying that they want to survive because everyone also wants to survive just like them.
But has any of those he has met that has committed those hideous acts to pay for their sins? None. The answer was none.
Nobody care, especially the inside the inner wall, they may know about it but why would they care? For us whose life was worth less than a rat, who cares?
So, continue to do it, if no one said you can't do it or all your evil deeds go unpunished, why stop? For survival we must do everything to survive, we animal has three single purposes in life survive, preproduction, and die.
No more no less.
===
I look at the dead end of the path, at the same time look back to my past fill with joy, struggles, warmth, rage, and acceptance.
All things became clear to me like a dark night suddenly became daylight. Words flow out of me unconsciously.
"I… I don't want to live like this."
I have grown comfortable with my current life, but inside of me, I know all of it is just an illusion. An illusion where I contend with my worthless rat life.
Who wouldn't want to live a better life, who wouldn't want their life to fill with happiness, who wouldn't want to at least have a fulfilling life? There no one in the world can deny that.
'Just because every creature wants to survive, that doesn't mean that they want to forfeit their comfortable life and tried to survive by all costs'
If that were so people wouldn't have greed, pride, wrath, sloth, lust, envy, and gluttony. There would also be no chastity, temperance, humility, charity, kindness, diligence, or patience.
Those sins and virtues simply do not benefit one's path to survival. To survive one's having to get rid of all those emotions and strive only to survive by all means.
And I'm not that kind of person.
Just because my Mark is doesn't mean I want to live just to survive. That is genuinely a sad way to live.
With all my thought sorted out, I finally came to a conclusion.
***
"Yes"
A simple answer comes out of my mouth after I come back to the scrapyard.
"Huh?" Kaula who was reading a letter became confused after my abrupt declaration.
"I'm saying that I agreed! Take me to your Captain." I said frankly with determination on my face.
"… Haaa, I know you gonna choose this… quite honestly, I don't want to do works like mine. It could be very dangerous." Kaula who was very worried about me said with a concerned tone.
"Hahaha, how could it be more dangerous than living with you?" I said with a laugh, living with her is indeed has always been very dangerous, it's just that I've never realized what her job is until now.
"I guess, you have a point." Kaula agreed, it's not like she not self-aware.
"Anyway, if you want to go to the office we can go tomorrow, I've some work tomorrow anyways so this is more convenient." Kaula said, then she curved her face into a small smile.
"By the way, we going to eat something delicious today, take it as my repayment for taking care of me."
"Nonsense, why would I need your repayment? Just change your personality a bit and that is already my greatest gift!" Indeed, she could be gentler sometimes, and stop punching me whenever she felt irritated.
"What do you mean by that?" Kaula with dagger-like eyes looks at me menacingly. Yep, she could be MUCH gentler.
"Ahem! Anyway, now that I'm officially joined doesn't that mean we could buy a house with the money you save up." She should have a lot of money due to her work, right? I mean… she did spend it on food and whatnot but there should be plenty left.
"Let me just say this to you. In the world of "Embodier" there are a lot of ways for you to spend your money." So, she doesn't have any money, got it.
"Anyways, what for dinner?" She said we going to eat something delicious. Will it be one of the foods I used to eat as a child? Now I'm kinda excited, I used to eat so much food that I considered a luxury now.
"Well... you will know soon enough." Kaula said with a mysterious smile. What does she mean by that, I don't even need to eat why would say it like I'm about to eat the most delicious meal in my life?
Well, that doesn't matter to me. The only thing I can really get excited about was the fact I'm about to join the world of "Embodier".
I guess the only thing left to do was... nothing, I guess. There are a lot of questions that are on my mind, but I figured that could be waited for later, I don't have to be hasty.
Shooting stars cut through the sky as I was in deep thought, both I and Kaula looked toward the dark sky admiring the beautiful skyscape. I wish for this moment to stop, just for a bit but time doesn't follow anyone's wish... well maybe they do for someone who possesses the or something.
In this mysterious world of "Embodiers" everything can happen, I just don't know how expansive this god-forsaken world is.
Well, I have plenty of time to discover it after I have enough money and power.
"Oh! It's time for the reservation, followed me Aeter." Kaula suddenly said while standing up, her skirt fluttering with the wind.
"Ah... ok." With my not-so-enthusiastic voice, I get up and dust off my clothes.
"Before that... let me give you something nice to wear first!" She said and took out two white cards depicting an elegant black suit for men, and a beautiful white dress
Wait... She even buys me clothes?!
I didn't know she was this thoughtful, even though I don't think I can wear that suit anywhere else except at formal events.
"We can't look like beggars in an expensive restaurant, am I right?" She certainly got a point.
The night was still young, and so this pair of brother and sister started to prepare for the last day they will have a remotely normal life.
After today, even fate can't tell if they will die or live to see the sun the next day.
But one thing that the two of them both agreed on is that their life has just only in the opening chapters.
Chapter 9: A Simple Answer