I woke up to a cold, unusual feeling on my forehead and hoped to hell that someone made it. All I remembered was Jae screaming at me to stop, and when I tried to; the Mist just ignored me and kept going. So all I could do was transfer it all into one of them. I frowned and held my hand to my forehead. There was a wet cloth that had been folded and dunked into a basin I noticed as I looked down to my right.
"Are you feeling any better?"
I started and pulled my hand down, also removing the cloth. I looked over to the father's left side of the room and Tsuna was sitting on a heavily cushioned chair with a blanket wrapped around her legs.
I cleared my throat and threw my legs over the edge of the bed and wriggled my toes. I tried to clear my head, but it was like my mind had purposefully blocked what had happened from me. To save me…from what?
"Careful now dear, you don't want to push yourself too hard," Tsuna said, her voice sounding like it was scraping up the insides of her throat.
I stared at her, looking a little closer. "Wha…what happened?" I asked, taking how frail she looked. Her eyelids drooped over her brown eyes, she sighed like it was taking her sheer will to stay alive.
"The disease hit the palace not long after you and Jae returned," Tsuna said. My eyes widened and I stood up, half tempted to walk over there and shake her. "Jae's father was isolated—even though you were unconscious, you were dangerous—Your mother knew what could happen…" Tsuna sighed sadly. "And yet she let you back into the palace. And the day after you were placed in your bedroom, the disease got a hold of Councillor Akiyama."
I sucked in a breath, my lung slowly collapsing into themselves as I took in the meaning of her words. "No…no—they were okay—right?"
Tsuna cast her gaze to the window and I did the same, not able to look at the sorrow buried and plastered to her face like sweat any longer.
"He died in a day and a half. It was then the palace went into complete lockdown, it was then that your trainer caught it." Tsuna looked at me, I didn't look back.
"You and Captain Song spent a fair amount of time with him, yes?" I nodded, not wanting to hear the words I knew would hit me like three bullets to my heart and soul.
"Well, when you were released from your isolation—still unconscious—the Captain went to tell the trainer the good news, but he already seemed to have some sort of illness at the time. So when we found out that he had the disease, we isolated Jae instantly." I stared harder until I felt my eyeballs sting from not blinking for so long.
"Tell me she's alive," I begged, I imagined trying to bring back the life of a dead person. I shook my head and closed my eyes, the itching feeling washed over me as I wanted to know but didn't.
"Barely, but yes."
I opened my eyes in shock. I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. I stared at her, but there was no happiness in her features.
"There's one more…" She said, trailing off, her hands started to twitch as she blinked numerous times, holding back tears that still fell.
"Who is it?" I asked, standing up, I walked over to her and knelt in front of her. She shook her head and trembled. I held back a growl. "Tsuna, who is it?"
She bit her lip and let out a shaky breath. "Your mother." She said.
The air escaped my lungs in one single swoop. The sound of leaves stroking the rooftops was all I could hear. And when I fell to the ground, I watched as my tears dropped and left dark splotches on the wood.
"Tell me she's alive…at least like Jae…" I looked up at Tsuna, hoping to see that smile hidden in her eyes as she explained her reasoning for everything. "…Please…" I murmured.
"She died yesterday in her sleep."
Everything dropped. Me, the floor, my heart. I clenched my jaw and let a gasp slide through my teeth and clutched desperately at the cloth over my heart and fell forwards. My right forearm met me as I slammed into the ground. Tears fell down my face like a never-ending rainstorm that had the whole world warned, flooding to the extreme, I would bring the oceans back with me.
"I'm so sorry." Tsuna's voice travelled back to me and I looked up at her, a wail escaping my mouth. She knelt down side me and wrapped me up in the blanket she'd been holding.
I buried my face in my hands and wept. It was all I could do. It took only a matter of time before I lost one of them, and then no more than a few months later, I lost the other.
"It's my fault…It's my fault…I killed her." I muttered bitterly, I tried to soothe myself and pace my breathing to the slow strokes Tsuna placed upon my back. It slowly worked.
"You didn't kill her, please understand—she made a foolish mistake and paid the price." Tsuna paused, I looked up at her and she smiled sadly. "She's with her true love now."
I blinked and nodded, those words of utter betrayal still falling down my mind like tumbling down an endless spiral staircase. Ongoing. Forever.
"Take me to her," I said.
I leaned against the doorframe, Tsuna wasn't too far away. She was just there for support, she said. I sighed and walked into the room. Mother's hair was still blacker than ever, it was positioned around her face like water, peaceful and still. Her face was paler than usual, but it was her lips that were red, her cheeks that were pale. The contrast had me stumped. But I didn't question it—she was still beautiful, in her last moments of life I was sure she'd been too.
I sat beside her and took her hand, as I did so, a rush of memories hit me like a brick. I heard children laughing, I felt breathless as I collected my mother's memories. I smiled and closed my eyes, sighing.
"Thank you," I whispered, kissing her ice-cold hand. The bones were more fragile than ever. She would lie in the dirt next to her lover and watch down upon us all by his side.
I wish I was there for when I should've been…I'm so sorry.
I sniffed loudly and let her hand drop, walking off out of the room and up to Tsuna. "Show me, Jae," I said, I gave her a warning look and she nodded politely, walking off left down the hall.
Jae's breathing was loud and forced, her face was glossy with sweat and her hair stuck to her face like it had been pasted there with glue.
"You may as well leave," I told Tsuna quietly. I heard her skirts wish quietly as she bowed and I waited until her footsteps were no more.
I looked down at Jae and walked to her side. I sat down and watched her warily, I was prepared to suffer through that pain I went through. I sighed, I couldn't lose anyone else.
I took her hand as gently as I could and dove straight into it. Just like before. I felt my way through her head, and once I got to where she was hiding, all I could see was blackness.
And then, I saw a flash of something colourful. It looked like a butterfly. I recognised this creature, I waited patiently for more to show, and it did, there was a giggle and then a cry of 'reel it back in Hiro!'
I blinked and looked to my right as I saw two young children—us—run past me, chasing after a butterfly kite. I watched as they ran off into the darkness and I saw a lonely figure curled in a ball, a few metres away.
Jae?
I walked forwards, the figure was grey and when I walked to face them, they didn't look back. I knew it was Jae, but I had never seen her do this. Crawl into a ball and break it down.
'It's okay Jae, you can do it, just…think about Hiro—yeah—imagine him here right now…'
I frowned and realised that this was a personal memory. Something that I should never've known or seen. But, here I was, and I was prepared to watch all the way through if I could save her.
Jae, can you hear me? It's Hiro!
I knelt in front of her and she looked up, blinking rapidly and jumping up, I turned around and saw myself standing in a sudden doorway. 'Are you ready for the dance Jae?' The other me asked.
'Sort of, I guess.' Jae smiled hesitantly and took the other me's hand. They walked off out the doorway which slowly disappeared.
I frowned. Where was she? Why was I being locked by memories?
Jae, I have to save you—I can't live knowing you died for me! Do you remember what you asked me? Will you live life by my side Jae-wun Song? Will you venture into the depths of pain and loss and climb up the mountains of freedom with me?
JAE!
I cried this all out in one outburst and before I knew it, another figure was standing in front of me, facing away, ahead. This figure was also Jae, and instead of grey, she was a subtle red colour.
Jae?
I walked slowly over to her, her long hair lying dead and long past her shoulders. She didn't register I was there until I walked in front of her. She blinked.
Hiro? Is that really you?
I laughed and watched as her face lit up in happiness. She grinned and threw her arms around me. She pulled back and stared at me, frowning.
You're black and white.
I looked down at my hands and realised she was right. I sighed and brushed my hair out of my face, my fringe tickling my forehead. I grinned and looked down at her.
Let's just call it silver, 'kay?
She nodded and grabbed my hand, her gaze going thoughtful as she pulled my past memories of her life. With me, before she met me, in the palace reading. Everything.
I haven't found the exit to this place, can you help me find it?
She looked at me and deciphered what was written beneath my expression of happiness. I smiled in a partial grimace and hoped to hell that I could get her out of her before the Mist pulled me out itself. It seemed to be obsessed with my health and was concerned even just when I got a paper cut. I hoped one day I could learn to control it like having a loyal pet—or even a best friend.
What's wrong Hiro?
I looked down at Jae and suddenly realised how Tsuna must've felt, telling me all that tragic news she knew would make me cry my broken heart out.
My mother died last night. You're going to die.
That was all I said. I watched her face, expecting it to split down the middle in agony as she realised everything.
I figured, usually, the doorway would appear when I asked it too—but apparently, I'm going to need a guide. She smiled and patted my arm. And when I get out, I'll help you keep her garden growing.
I took her hand and squeezed it hard. I walked past the memories I remembered, and when I felt a familiar tugging, I knew we were getting close to the spot I entered. Jae frowned as I held her hand tighter. I shrugged and looked ahead, not wanting to let go yet.
When the tugging was almost getting ready to literally sweep me away, I summoned the smallest of Mist and blew it into her face.
The truth will lead you back, I'll see you soon.
I gasped and sat up, sweat trickling down my neck and temples. I wiped it all away and stood up pacing, hoping to hell that my little trick would help her mentally pull herself out of her own head. We all got trapped sometimes.
I walked back and forth, back and forth, until I heard a groan and looked back at Jae. Her complexion was ten times better, less sallow. Her sweaty features were full of happiness as she spotted me.
"I knew you'd find me!" She cried, beaming. She reached to pull the blankets off, but then paused and went back to her original position.
I frowned. "What's wrong?" I asked, hoping that she could feel her lower body and wouldn't be stuck in bed for the rest of her life—or in a wheelchair.
She blushed and looked away. "Someone must've stripped me in the hopes for me to sweat out my fever…"
I blushed and bit my lip, half caught between crying and laughing. She was naked. I nodded and walked out of the room, catching Tsuna's eye as she walked into the room past me.
I grinned and walked off, my heart thumping unevenly in my chest. Losing someone is the worst thing I've ever felt. And I counteracted that feeling by saving someone. I'm sure I'll eventually say that about something else.