"Errm, do either of you know the way to the trophy room?"
Londra nodded.
"Silas always loved showing it off to visitors. I know the way like the back of my hand."
Taking a step to the side, I gestured for the expert to lead the way, falling in behind her as Tara took up the rear. My eyes roamed about restlessly, wary of anymore monsters. I was fairly confident that Mr. Slither himself, that king of horrors, was still happily lurking on the first floor. And since the attic was technically floor number three, that put an entire floor full of rooms, dinner guests, and endless hallways between us. The thought raised my flagging spirits a little, giving me hope that I might just survive through the night.
The attic proved rather extensive as we walked, complete with its own hallways, twists, turns, and a few rooms on the side which looked like unused bedrooms. There was even one which looked suspiciously like a mini dining room, making me wonder what maniac had designed the floorplan for Took Manor.
"How many guests are left?" Tara asked after a while.
I did a quick bit of mental math, taking a bit longer than I should have since my mind was all fuzzy around the edges.
"Errm, eight I think. the first one would be Alec Romero. He owns a little newspaper and was here covering the dinner party. Then there's Ariel and Seabass, who I last saw being chased by spiders. Um, let's see, there's Nami Gem, who is some kind of rich person. Then the next one that comes to mind is Rain Brutal, he's- "
"Rain Brutal?" Tara asked in disbelief. "Is that even a name?"
I shrugged.
"He's like a rapper or something. I'm not really sure. When you're in show business, I guess you can be anything. I think he donated money so he could shoot a music video in the mansion. Sabin Blackwood came along with him, I don't really know what she does. Then there's Tatay McGee- "
She stopped in her tracks.
"Where did Silas find these people?"
I just grinned at her.
"Well, Rain Brutal came to Silas, and Tatay is a semi-famous cobbler. He was invited to repair Mr. Took's long neglected collection of shoes..."
We walked in silence for a bit after that.
"You said eight," Londra chimed in. "Who's the last?"
I'm sure the expression on my face at the thought of Vincent, was the same expression I might get if I stepped in a pile of pigeon droppings.
"Vincent Fitzroy. He's a jerk and I hope he gets eaten by sharks. I'm not sure what he does. I think he's rich or something."
"What did he do?" Tara asked.
"Oh, just generally be a jerk. Plus, he abandoned me to fight a plant zombie all by my little self. So yeah, I don't like him much."
The conversation ended on that rather sour note, our little tour remaining uneventful until we reached the head of the stairs that led downwards. For all of the remaining guests had gathered there, save for Seabass and Ariel. Someone had apparently done a much better job than me at uniting them all.
Sabin Blackwood, the lady who'd stolen my potatoes at dinner seemed to be the leader, standing with her back to me as she gave instructions to everyone else. I didn't even take note of the guests she was speaking with, too intent on getting a little vengeance. Holding up a hand for Tara and Londra to stay silent, I took a step to the side, picked up a small box from the pile of junk around me, aimed, and hit Sabin in the back of the head.
She whirled, a small pearl handled revolver held in her right hand, and it occurred to me that she hadn't been leading the remaining guests as a savior, someone who would unite them all against the evil of Mr. Slither. She had been holding them hostage...
"You," she said quietly, her eyes narrowing.
I took a step back.
"It... flew out of my hand. I tried to stop it, but... your head got in the way."
Sabin raised her gun just slightly, till it was aimed right between my eyes.
"I bet I could say the same thing if I accidently pulled the trigger. Oops, I didn't mean to put a bullet through your skull, but your head just sort of... got in the way."
I took another step back. At some point, both Tara and Londra had moved away from me, probably realizing that if anyone was going to get them shot, it would be me.
"Errm, maybe we should just start over," I tried, taking another sneaky little step back as I said it.
"You should kill her," said one of the other guests, stepping forwards to stand beside Sabin Blackwood.
Words like 'Goth', 'Heavy Metal', and 'Modern Day Viking' about summed him up. He was impressively bearded, though a little bit on the scrawny side, looking much more impressive on his heavily photo shopped album covers. He was Rain Brutal, the rapper. Naturally, he too held a gun. My knowledge of fire arms was somewhat lacking, but it looked to me like it was a lot more dangerous than a mere revolver. Words like Uzi and machinegun actually came to mind...
"She lives for now," Sabin replied, with a dismissive wave of her free hand. "Now that we've found the remaining guests, we take them all to the basement. So that Gwelhb'hot may deal with them."
I raised a hand like a kid in class.
"Who is this Get Well Hot Pocket guy? Is he the one I call Mr. Slither?"
Sabin's eyes narrowed.
"What are you, a retard?"
My eyes flicked to the guests behind her. Her buddy was too focused on me to be covering them any longer with his weapon, leaving them to act if they were brave enough. I recognized Vincent Fitzroy in the crowd, who was staring at me in disbelief that I still lived. He averted his gaze the instant he noticed me looking at him, ashamed of his previous abandonment.
The others were Nami Gem, Alec Romero, and Tatay McGee. I thought about waving cheerfully, but Sabin interrupted me before I could.
"Hey, I'm talking to you, girl. I asked if you're a retard."
I tried to catch the eyes of Alec Romero, who looked like a man of action. Tall, slightly scruffily bearded but in a good way, it was his cowboy boots that really gave me confidence. You can get a lot done with boots.
Sabin stepped forwards, her whole face darkening with fury, and it occurred to me that my attention deficit disorder was really getting to be a problem.
"I'm talking to you!" she shouted. "I have a gun pointed at your head, and you just don't seem to care. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Alec was proving completely clueless, leaving it up to me to save the day. And I really didn't have much in the way of weapons. I still had the lighter that I'd used earlier, and I even still had one little bottle of whiskey in my pocket, but that was it. I decided to just rely on what I always did. My insanity.
"I like your hair," I spurted out, getting an odd look from Sabin in return. In my defense, it was nice hair. Outwardly blond, but with dark, almost black roots, that gave her a rather artistic flair. She started to open her mouth to respond, but I beat her to it, my tactic only really working if I could keep her on her toes.
"It's like Madonna. Well, not really. But her name comes up because of your voice. It's got this musical quality to it, and I'd bet you'd be a blast at a karaoke party. Hey, if we all survive this and you don't shoot everyone dead, would you like to come over to my parent's place?"
"What the hell is she talking about?" Rain Brutal asked, actually lowering his gun a little.
"I'm talking about Sabin Blackwood!" I said with a sickening amount of cheerfulness. "She's so cool. If she wasn't pointing a gun at everyone, I'd totally hang out with her."
The aforementioned gun raised just slightly, till it was pointing once more at my head. At some point her aim had wavered a little, probably confused by my... Neemishness.
"You will shut up," she said quietly. "You will be silent before I kill you."
"Why, because you and your buddy's guns are both pointed only at me?" I said, my eyes once more on Alec's as I hoped he'd take the hint.
Finally clueing in, he dove at Rain, tackling the man to the ground and sending his gun flying through the air. Tatay McGee was right behind him, charging towards Sabin as she started to turn, confused at what was going on behind her.
Limping forwards myself, aimed towards Sabin so I could kick her in the knee, for just a moment I felt my hopes rise. Then Mr. Slither walked up the stairs, and everything got a bit complicated.
His first victim was Nami Gem, his vines enveloping her in a swarm of writhing death, drowning out her screams beneath the rustle of moving plant life. Whatever he did to her, he did it fast, throwing her lifeless corpse through the air so that it bounced off a wall. Then he headed right for me.
Things were getting rather crowded around the staircase, so I took one look at Londra and Tara, who had pretty much stood in shock through the whole thing, and then I ran right back the way we had come.
"Follow me!" I shouted, planning to head right back through the window I'd used to get up here. Sure I might have to deal with a swarm of tiny spiders and a possibly dead Ariel and Seabass, but that would be better than dealing with that horror of horrors himself, Mr. Slither.
Gunfire echoed around me, and I felt something rush past my ear. Either Sabin or Rain had gotten back in the game, but there was no time to worry about it now. My injured foot started to collapse beneath me, but I felt a strong arm under my shoulder, holding me up. I turned my head to see the grim face of Alec Romero.
"Sorry about that," he said with a sheepish grin. "They were so careful when bringing us up here, that I didn't even realize they'd stopped pointing their guns at us."
I gave him a grin in return.
"You help us get out of here alive, and I will, errm, give you a very big bowl of pretzels in thanks."
He gave me that blank look that only I could evoke... Right before one of Mr. Slither's tentacles wrapped around his right foot, dragging it out from under him. I grabbed his hand as he slid by, only to be yanked off my feet and dragged along myself for a few feet before his hand slipped out of mine.
I stared on helplessly as Alec was pulled into Mr. Slither's grip. Laughing darkly, Alec screaming all the while, Mr. Slither wound one vine around the man's throat, squeezed till he choked, then shoved another vine all the way down it.
Alec's legs started kicking against the ground, then his whole body spasmed as if through a seizure and went limp. Almost gently, Mr. Slither lowered him the ground. I spared the briefest glance towards the other guests.
Tara and Londra stood behind me, stunned into immobility. Tatay McGee, Sabin and Rain stood on the other side of Slither, equally stunned with horror. Vincent Fitzroy, naturally, had fled again.
I reached into my pocket, pulled out the small bottle of whiskey, smashed the top of the bottle off against the ground, ripped off a piece from a nearby dust cloth, lit it, and threw my makeshift Molotov cocktail at Mr. Slither. Alec leapt in the way, taking the blow for his new master.
Even through all the flames as he erupted into a living inferno, I could see the newborn little plant tendril winding its way out of his mouth, already starting to creep around him and turn him into the next plant zombie.
Figuring I'd done pretty much all that I could, I pocketed the lighter and ran, reaching out to grab my two companions around the arms to hurry them along. Well, and to stop me from falling. Tara and Londra pretty much ended up carrying me.
I heard another scream from somewhere behind us, but clasped between my two friends, couldn't really turn my head to look. Then the sound of slithering, always a background hum when Mr. S. was present, increased tenfold, till it sounded like the rapid beat of wings, some hungry demon from hell intent upon our destruction.
Tara let me go for a moment so that she could slam open a door, one that I never remembered closing, and then we found ourselves back in the room with the broken window. It was covered in spider webs.
Frowning, not liking this it all, I held up a hand for Tara and Londra to stay put. Then I slowly walked further into the room, my eyes darting all around me for any sign of trouble. Webs hung from the rafters, the walls, and two human-shaped lumps which lay curled up on the floor. One of them wiggled after a moment and then went still.
I looked down at my feet. I did not have spider stomping boots, just my sneakers, which were some the worse for wear due to my time here. I still had a lighter, but nothing really to set off a proper inferno. And I really didn't know what spiders were afraid of.
"Tara," I whispered. "Do you have a phone by chance?"
She just stared at me.
"A phone!" I said a little bit louder, my ears straining for the slightest rustle of an approaching spider swarm. Of course, it was rather hard to listen for mere spiders, when the sound of Mr. Slither's steady approach grew louder and louder behind us.
Londra beat her to it, pulling out the newest smartphone.
"Now, open up the internet and search for how to stop a swarm of spiders," I said quickly.
To her credit, she followed my insanity without question.
"It mentions a lot about pesticides and keeping your house clean, but not much that would help us in this situation."
One of the piles of junk to my left rustled. All of my senses zoomed in on it, just waiting, every fiber in my being alert to either run or attack.
"It says you can stun spiders with hairspray," Londra suggested.
I turned my head slightly towards her in interest.
"Do you have any hairsp- " was about all I managed before something big, mean, and spidery launched itself at me, knocking me to the ground. It stood over me, front two legs pressing down on my chest as it's eight eyes looked down at mine, filled with menace.
It took me a minute to realize that it wasn't one monster. It was all of them. All the tiny little spiders that I'd seen previously, joined up to form one big one. It would have been kind of cool if it wasn't so terrifying.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the end. Until I heard a sharp hissing sound, and snapped them back open to see the Spider collapsing around me back into its individual pieces. Tara stood behind it, miniature can of hairspray still hissing out its spider-paralyzing essence. I should have foreseen the girl with stylish hair having just such an item on hand.
"You okay?" she asked, helping me up.
"Mr. Slither," I said, with no need for further explanation as to why we needed to move it.
Nodding, she turned to one of the web-wrapped bundles and slung it over her shoulder. Londra took the other one, and the three of us headed through the window. Tara and her bundle first, impossible to tell whether it was Seabass or Ariel, then Londra shoved hers through like a sack of potatoes, and climbed in after it.
With a weary sort of smile, knowing I was doing the right thing but not liking it one bit, I turned away from the window and headed back towards where Mr. Slither was. If I'd gone through the window with the others, it wouldn't have bought us any real time at all. And having to carry an immobile Seabass and Ariel, we would have been sitting ducks.
Now, it was just plucky little me. Yay. I headed back through the door I'd entered, hoping to find an alternate way to get downstairs before Mr. S. and his minions showed up. As my generally terrible luck would have it, Silas Took was standing in the middle of the room that I'd just walked into.
He didn't seem to be fully 'Slitherized' yet, for he looked perfectly human. Albeit, incredibly pale and haggard, like a man who's battled the worst of cancer for years. Sabin and Rain weren't anywhere in sight, meaning that despite his minions, Mr. S. liked to do his killing alone.