"Adey?"
"Hi," I held the phone to my ear with both hands and squeezed my eyes shut to keep tears from flowing.
"You finally missed me?" Javier said from the other end.
"Yeah."
"Are you coming over? I miss having a little kid clinging to me."
"Come on," I felt myself sadly smile. It was as though the last time we had spoken was the day before. "I miss making you mad."
Then he laughed.
I wanted to tell him how much I still loved him. How much I missed his gentleness, the calm life he provided. His pure and straightforward nature.
I wanted to tell him how much I missed the simplicity of us, how exhausted I was from my current life full of uncertain anticipation and the anxiety of what is to happen. Let him know how overwhelming the excitement in my life was.
But after hearing his candid laughter all that immediately dissipated. I was refreshed again and my sight clear. The tears had dried up. "Aww, you still laugh like a kid. I told him."
Javier laughed some more until I was laughing out loud.
"You sounded like you really needed that. How would you survive without me?" he finally said. "We literally depended on each other for survival."
"I thought so until you decided you needed someone else." I reminded him.
"Adey , please listen to me..." Javier tried.
"No," I cut in before he could continue. "You made it pretty clear before that I didn't know half your friends. She must be in the other half. Were cool."
"Can we please not talk about this now?" He asked.
"Sure."
"Good to know you're still an obedient babe." Javier pointed out before asking. "Did you finally replace me with some hot college boy?"
I laughed. He still worried about my college boys even if we weren't together anymore. "I still haven't made any hot friend." I wasn't answering his question, but I made sure not to lie.
When I had called, I hadn't thoroughly thought of what I would say to him. I couldn't tell him that the guy that claimed to be my boyfriend at the party that fateful night was my boyfriend, could I? I might as well say I had been cheating on him before I found out about his girl...
"Did you move on?" I asked him instead.
"No, I told you before that there was something about you that made me want to be in a relationship with you that other girls don't possess."
"Oh?" I responded. "Why am I finding it hard to believe?"
"I don't know."
"You're trying to tell me you've been alone for like... three months?" I asked. Three months sounded like a short period of time but felt quite long.
"Yes," Javier replied. "I mean, I definitely fucked around with some girls but I haven't loved anyone yet."
"I see." I hated the feeling of loss that stung at my chest. "Good for you. "I added as my phone reported an incoming message. "Glad I spoke to you. I'll get you sometime again then."
"You sure you don't want to come over?" Javier asked.
"What am I coming to do?"
"Make some love. I haven't made love in a long time, plus I miss your sweet pu-... cookie."
I breathed. "Making love is for those in a relationship. We broke up, remember?" I said that even though deep down I was craving to be in his arms again, grinding against him, feel his breath warm against the side of my neck and the lack of breath in his voice as he told me how sweet I...
"Then we could settle for fucking."
"Bye Javier, I'll get you later. Take care." I said before hanging up.
'Princessah, I'm sorry for last night. I love you, I don't want to lose you.'
I smiled as I read the message. There was something about Ash that made my heart drop. I pressed my eyelids together as the images of the previous nights flashed before my eyes.
"It was amazing. I loved it. I was overreacting because I was scared." I told myself.
I loved him.
I smiled. I truly loved him, his apology made me feel terrible. It was only lovemaking between a couple. He didn't have to apologize.
'It's alright ml.' I replied.
'You're the only good in my life, Princessah. You keep me safe and alive; I think of you every time I do something and succeed. Please don't leave me.' Came his reply.
'I promise I'll never leave you.' I smiled, knowing in my heart that I was never going to leave him. My heart ached for him. No matter how exhausting being with him was, I wasn't going to trade him for anyone. Not even Javier. I had to stay with Ash. If I left hm, he would have no one to love him.
Society didn't understand anyone like him, everyone treated his kind like outcasts. But he was also human, it was not entirely his fault he was into his line of work nor why he was born with his mentality. The same way some people were cut out to be actors or writers, or pediatricians or politicians...
Moreover, wasn't it that what defines a person lies not in their actions but in their hearts?
'Don't be mad at me okay? I feel terrible for hurting you. I just wanted to fuck with you, you know you're hot and irresistible. Your boyfriend can't keep his hands to himself.'
'I'm not mad anymore. Please just don't hurt me anymore, okay?'
'I will try not to hurt my Princessah anymore. Come to me, my love.'