Naruto and Sasuke were devouring Ramen Bowls full of Barbeque skewers and noodles with spicy chili sauce. Ryu flexed and grinned with a cigarette at the corner of his mouth, "How is it? Dad's famous Spicy Barbeque Ramen!"
Naruto and Sasuke cheered "Great!" happy and warm smiles on their faces.
Ryu puffed his chest and said "You know, I conquered Anko with this meal. Hmph! She didn't even stand a chance!"
"Oh really?"
Ryu, Sasuke, and Naruto froze, turning their heads stiffly.
Anko was standing behind the three with her arms crossed. Ryu coughed and said seriously "It was all Naruto's idea, you have to believe me. We should put him up for adoption…"
Anko roared "SCRAM!" as she kicked at Ryu angrily. Ryu shouted "Every man for himself!" as he threw Naruto and Sasuke at Anko, grabbing his ramen bowl and running away.
Naruto and Sasuke shouted in unison "YOU BASTARD! AHHHHHHH!" as Anko beat them up, shouting "This is what you get for listening to his nonsense!"
Sasuke shouted in grief "You're unreasonable!"
Anko stopped and looked at him, Naruto widened his eyes and gave him a thumbs up, saying sincerely "Sasuke, I don't like you but this time… I admire you big time. You got guts… See you in the afterlife…"
Sasuke puffed up his chest and looked at Anko, saying seriously "It was all Naruto's idea, you have to believe me. We should put him up for adoption…" before turning to run.
Anko exhaled smoke from her mouth, grabbing Sasuke's collar and seething "You think I'll fall for that a second time?" her hand shot out and grabbed Naruto who was tiptoeing away.
Naruto suddenly said seriously "It was all Naruto's idea-" Anko punched the two in the head, roaring "Idiots!" before disappearing.
Far away, Ryu wiped his sweat muttering, "Phew… Escaped that female Tyrannosaurus…" he froze and looked at you, asking "She's right behind me, isn't she."
Anko cracked her fingers, her eyes just balls of fire at this point as she growled "Breaking the fourth wall won't save you this time, you bastard." Ryu turned to you and said, "Let's just move onto the next scene…"
Anko sneered and beat him up angrily, shouting "Not yet!" as Ryu covered his head, shouting "Not my handsome face! Ah! You kicked me!? Don't make me fight back!" Anko sneered harder at him, asking "Do you have the guts?"
Ryu wilted and curled up, "No…"
The next day~
Ryu kicked open the door to a room and walked in, humming to himself. He instantly swung his leg to the side and kicked a kid right in the face, plastering him on the wall.
Everyone stopped and looked at him.
Ryu rubbed his nose and smiled "Hello, everyone~ I'll be your examiner for today~ My name is Ryu." All the genin looked at him and then looked under his feet.
There was a Sound Village ninja being stepped on as well as a white haired Leaf Village guy…
Ryu looked at the guy plastered onto the wall as he said "Little sound kid, no fighting in the testing room. Next time, I'll splatter your blood on the walls, got it?"
The kid fell to the ground and coughed, nodding.
Ryu exhaled smoke through his nose as his cigarette wafted with smoke. He looked down and said "Kabuto, you little 4 eyed bug, if you don't dodge it next time, I'll kill you." Kabuto smiled and asked "Can you get off me, Ryu-san?"
Ryu looked up at everyone and said heroically "No!"
Everyone: …
Ryu stepped on the Sound Village ninja and walked through the middle of the desks, saying "Alright, little bastards. Listen up!" he took the basket and threw numbers everywhere.
Everyone caught one and Ryu said "You have 0.5 seconds to sit down or die." the genin started to sweat and ran to their seats, sitting down.
Ryu nodded with satisfaction.
He smashed the blackboard behind him to pieces, saying "You're going to be tested with a written test. Basically, you start with 10 points and every question you answer wrong, you lose 1 point. No, you can't leave everything blank. Ask stupid but seemingly smart questions, I'll kill you."
He raised two fingers, continuing "Secondly! You're not allowed to get caught cheating! Or you'll lose 2 points. Don't start sweating profusely and question your existence inwardly wishing you were dead, I'll kill you. As long as I don't catch you cheating, you're free to cheat all you want. If I close my eyes for a few minutes you can even stand up and stare at someone else's paper, I don't care."
Everyone was sweating, completely dumbfounded as Ryu continued "Also! When you get caught cheating, don't complain or I'll kill you. Any questions?" A girl raised her hand and Ryu said "Yes, despicable Rock Ninja."
The girl was dumbfounded and forgot her question, another Rock Ninja said angrily "What do you mean?!" Ryu replied simply "Using 10,000 ninjas to exhaust the Third Raikage to death; if you're not despicable, what are you? Next question, yes, you, with the big nose."
The big nose guy asked "Who passes?"
Ryu said directly "Only the first place team in points. Next question, if you ask another question, I'll kill you." the hands went down and Ryu asked "No more questions? Good. Let's start. You have one hour."
As he yawned and closed his eyes, snoring instantly.
The Genin were dumbfounded and looked at each other, starting to cheat like crazy.
Sasuke frowned and muttered "Don't be fooled…" Sakura and Naruto nodded in far away seats.
A shy girl next to Naruto whispered, "You can copy me, Naruto-kun…"
Naruto was dumbfounded in a second.
Before he could answer, there was a bang!
Ryu appeared behind a guy and smashed his head through the desk, saying "Your team has been eliminated. Get your friends and get the hell out of here before I kill you." The three Genin scrambled out of the room and Ryu smiled at everyone, saying "53, 78, 120, 300, 245, 125, and 26. Get your teams and get out."
Everyone started sweating as 24 Genin left in an instant!
Ryu smiled and returned to his seat, saying "A bunch of idiots. If you can't even cheat secretly then how will you collect information? Unless you can kill everyone who sees you." he raised a finger and wiggled it, laughing "Unfortunately, you can't kill me~"
He relaxed in the chair and stretched, getting comfortable as he started snoring again.
The genin sneered and muttered "Not falling for that again…"
45 minutes later