Zander stared at his finished painting and smiled, it was of CJ, the one he'd been painting the day of the dance, the day he'd saved CJ, the day he figured out that if CJ weren't around, his life would never be the same.
Now the painting was done, it had been so easy to paint, effortless. Zander thought maybe it was because he had been painting all his life but now he knew, it was so easy because CJ's face was etched into his mind, everything about him seemed to be unforgettable, his hair, his eyes, his scent.
Zander couldn't get enough of it.
There was a knock on the door of his room and Zander quickly covered up the painting before going to open it.
It was his mom.
"Zander, there's someone at the door, she said she's a friend from school"
"Okay thanks mom"
His mother smiled mischievously.
"She's really pretty too"
Zander rolled his eyes, closed the door and went to change his shirt, then he went downstairs, expecting to see Hilda but instead saw Zoey.
He stood at the top of his stairs just looking at her, taking her in.
She looked different, he'd seen her before, at the dance and multiple times at school when he caught her looking at CJ expectantly and he thought to himself.
What the fuck was she expecting ?
But now, she looked less bright, less alive than he was used to seeing her.
He stopped his assessment and walked down the stairs, she looked at him and he knew, this girl was broken.
"Hey" she said, her voice sounded hoarse.
"Hey, didn't expect to see you here"
"Just figured I'd say hi"
"Yeah, like I'd believe that"
She smiled and went to him, he was standing on the last step of the stairs and was looking down at her, she had her head bent and her hands clasped together.
"Look I know we've had our differences in the past and that I'm the last person you'd wanna see right now considering everything I did to CJ, but I need your help with something"
"Does this something have to do with CJ"
She looked up and Zander could see true hurt in her her eyes at the mention of his name and in that moment he knew that this wasn't the Zoey he knew, she had changed in the way that only true loss could change someone.
"Take a seat"
.....
Over the next couple of hours Zander listened to everything Zoey had said , she talked about her visit to his house and the conversation they had and about her idea of asking Lucious for help.
"And so I decided to come to you, you were able to gain his trust in such a short period of time, I figured if anyone knew what to do, it'd be you"
Zander smiled at what Zoey said and then looked at her.
"Look I know I just got here but, you and CJ, you guys have a friendship like no other, and he loves you, he's just waiting for you to do the right thing."
"And what is that ?"
"He's already told you what it is, answer the question, were you worried about him or about yourself"
Zander could see the hesitation in her eyes, the fear of getting the wrong answer, or the right one.
"I don't know, I was worried for him and I was worried he would find out I'd been keeping things from him, which I thought was protecting his feelings but instead was giving him the ideas that I couldn't be trusted"
"I think you should give yourself time to truly answer that question, that's all he wants, to be reassured, to be absolutely certain that he can trust you again"
"You seem to really understand him"
Zander thought about CJ that first day he'd come to the school, the way they'd complimented each other almost perfectly.
"It's nothing serious."
"Can you do me a favour ?"
Zander simply nodded.
"Can you talk to CJ for me ?"
"I can't force him to..."
"No that's not what I'm saying, just..."
She sighed.
"Just try and remind him that I love him"
"I can do that"
"Thank you"
"I'm sorry I was a bit rude to you in the beginning, you're not that bad" said Zander.
"Thanks, you're not the asshole I thought you were, and who knows, maybe this is the start of a very peculiar friendship"
Zander smiled.
"Maybe it is"
....
Zander was driving his way through the quiet streets of his neighborhood, houses whizzed by as he throttled on, CJ was beside him letting the wind blow through his hair, he wore a white V-neck shirt and blue shorts, sunglasses were hooked on the shirt dragging it down a bit and exposing a few strands of chest hair, Zander almost veered off the road staring at CJ.
"Do you want to get us killed before we get to the park" said Micheal who was at the back with Matthew, the musician.
Zander smiled apologetically and tried his best to focus on the road ahead, he caught a glimpse of CJ smiling to himself.
They passed the tall buildings and hangouts that dotted their city, CJ looking at the passing scenery, Micheal reading a book, Matthew with his ears plugged and Zander desperately trying to focus on the road and silence his fingers ache to draw CJ the way he was, staring outside, the wind ruffling his hair and shirt, his eyes looking at the passing city with interest and the eyes of someone who could see the world in a variety of perspectives.
They finally got to the park and Zander parked the car.
"When did Hilda and Skyler say they're gonna be here ?" asked CJ.
"I don't know, they're probably still at the convention for artists at the center of the city" said Micheal bringing out the blanket and the picnic basket from the trunk of the car.
"I'm surprised you didn't go Zander" said CJ.
"I just wanted Sky and Hilda to spend some girl time together besides I like being here, with you"
CJ smiled and Zander quickly remembered that there were other people with them, luckily Matthew still had his ears plugged and Michael was too busy with setting the blanket on the grass.
CJ went to help Micheal out and Zander decided to get the rest of the stuff from the trunk.
There were baskets of snacks and pastry, extra blankets, a soccer ball, board games and a do-it-yourself picnic table.
Zander reached for the table and took it out of the trunk, CJ came running to him.
"Let me help you with that"
CJ took the box and emptied its contents on the grass, pieces of wood, nuts and bolts and an instruction manual.
"We've got to set up everything before the girls get here, c'mon chop chop! !" yelled Micheal.
"What's his problem ?" asked Zander.
"He hasn't been a relationship this long, it's freaking him out" said CJ laughing at Micheal yelling at Matthew to unplug and do something.
Zander laughed.
"Then we better get to work"
They both knelt down, CJ tried reading the manual, but it was in Spanish.
"Let me do the reading, I did Spanish at my old school"
"Is there anything you can't do"
"You'd be surprised"
Over the next couple of minutes Zander and CJ assembled the table, Zander read the instructions and CJ assembled parts together, Zander tried not to look at CJ, the way his muscles flexed when he was screwing a nut, or the way his hair fell over his head, and trying to find the right way to talk about Zoey without making CJ uncomfortable.
They finally finished the picnic table and were sitting on the grass.
"You know it's a shame that we'll have to disassemble this thing when we're done with it" joked CJ.
Zander just smiled. CJ immediately turned to him.
"Zander is there something wrong"
Zander looked into CJ's eyes which were full of concern.
"No I'm fine, I just....."
A honk disrupted them, they both turned to see Skyler and Hilda emerging from someone's car, the two girls waved the person and came towards them. CJ ignored them and turned to Zander.
"What were you saying ?"
Zander hesitated, then shook his head.
"We'll talk after the picnic"
"Are you sure"
"Positive"
CJ nodded then stood up to meet his sister.
Zander stood up as well, picnic now, talk later.
Hours later....
Zander was laying on the grass looking at the already reddening sky, he felt someone sit down beside him and turned to see CJ smiling.
"That was fun" said CJ.
"Yeah it was, I'm not really a fan of a lot of people around me but it was okay"
CJ lay down beside him looking at the sky.
"The sky's beautiful" said CJ
"it's more than beautiful, it's a vast, endless space between us and everything else out there"
"It's kind of scary to think the sky's what's separating us from the rest of the universe, what if there was no sky"
"That's the thing, there is and it's ours and it's amazing"
"Is that what you wanted to talk about before"
"No actually I wanted to talk to you about Zoey"
CJ sat up immediately and so did Zander.
"C'mon CJ"
"I don't want to talk about her"
"She came to my house the other day"
"So ?"
"So we talked and she misses you a lot"
"Well I don't"
"That's a lie, I see the way you look at her, you guys love each other"
"Of course I love her, she's my best friend, she's been my anchor all these years, helping me when I need it, keeping my secret"
"So why throw that away"
"Because that's exactly why it hurts because she was supposed to be the person that was there for me but she broke my trust and betrayed me"
"She did it for you, she did it to protect you"
"Who said I needed protecting"
Their voices were becoming alarmingly loud and Zander could see CJ's eyes glisten with tears and anger.
"No one, but that's why you have friends, they want to protect you because it's you, them and the rest of the world"
"But she knew about Lucious"
"She made a mistake but her intentions were pure, people make mistakes CJ, what would the world be if everybody was punished for their mistakes"
CJ fell silent and was looking at the people exiting the park.
"Look I'm on your side and I want what's best for you, I don't care about Zoey, I care about you and I know that this argument with Zoey is killing you, please just talk to her"
CJ looked at Zander for a while then fell into his arms. Zander was startled then returned the hug taking in the intoxicating scent of his hair and clothes.
"Thanks Zander, I'm really glad we're friends"
Zander felt a slight pain in his chest at the mention them being just "friends" but ignored it and said
"Me too".