'I've got to stay calm. Don't make people worry. You're meant to protect, be strong.'
I entered my mind and wandered towards my locked emotions. All colours of the rainbow, floating around in the shape of orbs yet restricted by the chains binding them.
Let's start with the easier ones.
Disgust, envy, happiness, jealousy, pride, admiration, appreciation, gratitude. One by one I unlocked my emotions and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders but I kept fear, sadness, exhaustion, confusion, anxiety, numbness and depression locked up with those similar to them. I knew if I released even one of them then it would start getting much harder to cope.
"You seem to be doing fine so far, you can do it Kiera, let all of your emotions out." Baal whispered but since the room was silent it made it very clear.
"Thank you." I whispered back as I took a deep breath inwards, letting it out slowly.
'Let's start with exhaustion.'
I unchained a light grey orb and set it free.
'Nothing, it didn't really do much. I guess I'm not exhausted.' I thought of the best way to get through them all quickly but didn't know how to, 'I'll do them all at the same time. Not the greatest idea but it'll have to do.'
I grabbed all the remaining chains and released the rest of my emotions while exiting my mind, bringing my consciousness back to the real world.
I looked over and saw Baal watching me and I could sense Yuki was asleep in another training room and clearly didn't hear the telepathy message I sent. I looked down at my hands and.. I felt fine.. it didn't overwhelm me.
As soon as I thought that a sudden pang of emotions swept over me, a rush of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, guilt, self hatred, it all overcame me at once.
I bent slightly forwards and wrapped my hands around my body, my whole body began trembling as I fell to my knees. Tears began pouring from my eyes in an uncontrollable stream and it started feeling hard to breath.
'I- I can't. This hurts me mentally. I don't think I-'
Baal rushed to my side and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm here, you'll be alright. I'm really strong you know, no one can hurt you here."
Despite Baal saying that, my body didn't stop trembling. I started hyperventilating and sudden memories came rushing back.
Images of my skin being peeled off, my bones being removed and flesh being torn open, my blood leaking from my skin in every place imaginable, organs being squeezed, removed, tampered with.
Those men in the lab coats…. The lab coats. I began trembling more and more, my breathing quickened and my stomach tightened.
Needles entering my skin, injecting me with random chemicals, my body being used as an experimental piece of equipment. Not a human. Not a living being. An experiment. That's all I am. A failed experiment. Something that shouldn't be alive.
"I shouldn't be here." I chocked on my words. "I shouldn't be alive. I should be dead. I'm a failed experiment. I have no rights.."
"Kiera calm down!" Baal shouted at me and shook me by my shoulders.
"Look at me right now. Yes you died but you are here and alive right now with a new life and new opportunities. Clearly someone deemed you worthy. You're not a failure. You've been here for six years! Only six years and you've accomplished so much! How could you be a failure! You should be here and you should be alive! You have done nothing wrong, you hear me? Nothing." Baal looked me straight in my eyes as she said that.
"I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE IM CONSIDERED INTERESTING! Just like an experiment. Something to be watched over and once you're done, disposed of!"
Space distorted around me and a single figure emerged from it.
"KII YOU IDIOT! I didn't reincarnate you because you're interesting! It's because I love you, you stupid lovable fool!" I heard Persephone shout at me.
"Love… me…" I whispered to myself in shock. I was still shaking but it was calming down ever so slightly.
"I've always loved you, even before now. You don't have all your memories and for now it isn't the right time to return them all. This isn't your first nor second life. I'll tell you now but everyone loved you. Even those who were your enemies before, they came to love you." Persephone paused for a second.
"Their love is from admiration. Mine is romantically. Kiera I love you. You're not worthless, you're not an experiment. I'm sorry I couldn't save you in that life, I was busy with reincarnating others as there was a war on a planet I govern. I was forced to watch through it all. I'm being serious when I say this, I love you so much, Kii."
Persephone moved towards me and kneeled down beside my curled up figure.
"I don't understand love." I said, "even after unlocking the emotion of love, I still haven't a clue about it."
"Baal, say something simple so my darling can understand." Persephone said to Baal.
"Of course, goddess. Kiera. Think of kissing your sister and check your heartbeat."
I imagined it and it disgusted me being intimate with my younger sibling. My heart rate was normal, well normal after having a mental breakdown that was still happening but calmer.
"Now think of kissing the goddess. Since you know each other from a different life and you retain the same soul then you should still have the same feelings."
I imagined kissing Persephone and my heart rate quickened and heat spread to my cheeks with a small smile visible on my face.
"It.. it changed. I feel.. odd, it's warm and fuzzy."
"*sigh* this is like teaching a child." Baal said, "if your heart rate sped up and you feel all warm inside then that's your love. You love the goddess, the goddess loves you."
"I'm still a little confused." I said.
"Then let me help clear things up a bit." Persephone said as she lifted my head up and leaned forwards.
Her lips pressed against mine and an electric feeling passed through my body. Blush was lingering on my cheeks and all I could feel was happiness and pleasure. My mind was completely focused on the goddess in front of me and my body began to relax. The shaking stopped and my tears dried up.
Our lips stayed pressed together for a while before Persephone broke the contact between the two of us.
My eyes were held wide open.
'Why did that feel so.. so good?"
"Kii, look at me."
I looked up. Baal was gone, she had left as soon as she finished explaining my love to me.
"I really do love you."
My head thumped and two images over lapped like a double vision. There were two Persephone's but dressed differently and in different areas.
The one in front of me now was smiling at me and the other was on top of me smirking in a bedroom but both said the same thing, "Kii, I love you."
My head thumped again as some memories that felt foreign yet familiar came to my mind. It was only a few, about 5, yet they all contained Persephone and myself.
Words I didn't know I would say but felt natural flowed out of my mouth, "I love you too, Kore."
'Kore, the nickname I was told to use. I remember it. In my previous life I came up with it for her on our first date.' My smile widened and I looked at Kore with care.
"I remembered some things from my previous life. Only 5 but I remember those occasions. Kore, I understand now. I love you."
Tears gently fell from Kore's eyes and she pulled me into her embrace.
"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that again. I've missed you so much."
"There is a sense of longing in my heart so I can only assume I've missed you too, Kore."
I buried my head in her nape and cried. Not tears from my trauma and sadness but from happiness and relief.
"I love you, Kii."
"Haha, I love you too, Kore." I grinned like a love struck fool as we held each other tight.
..
Name:[Kiera]
Age:[6]
Race:[Black elemental wyrm]
Gender:[Female]
Level:[6/250]
EXP:[1663/2500]
HP:[1034/1034]
MP:[1324/1324]
SP:[1099/1099]
..
Strength:[1031]
Intelligence:[1158]
Endurance:[1089]
Mental force/power:[ERROR]
Agility:[1046]
..
Skills - [Scratch] , [Thrust] , [Inspect] , [Bow mastery] , [Perfect aim] , [Elemental breath] , [Bloodlust] , [Elemental master] , [True dragon] , [Copy] , [Spacial storage] , [Sword mastery] , [Fire blade] , [Transform] , [Chef] , [Scythe mastery: 77%] , [Wind enhancer] , [Inferno] , [Poison manipulation] , [Fire resistance] , [Telepathy], [Override], [Limit breaker], [Black flames], Skill set: [Flames of destruction],
..
Passive skills - [Night vision] , [Mastered spacial awareness] , [Steal] , [Regeneration] , [Elemental resistance] , [Polyglot]
..
Armours - [Armour bent from the flames of death],
..
Body modifications - [Armoured scales - activated]
..
Titles - [The anomaly]
..
Blessings - [Blessed by goddess of reincarnation] , [Blessed by goddess of space]