*Beep*, *Beep*, *Beep*.
No, no, no. Ah...
Okay, okay, I'm getting up. I looked at my alarm to see that it was 5:40. Okay, at least I got up reasonably early.
That means I am in no rush at all.
I looked around my messy room and searched for my `work` clothes, which may or may not have been washed for around a week.
Ah, there they are. I eventually found them and began to put them on, but the smell made me gag. Luckily, there is this amazing invention that cleans clothes in seconds.
That's right, deodorant!
I sprayed it on my clothes, and now they are good as new.
Now it's time for the dreaded toothbrush. I walked to my shockingly clean bathroom, mainly because I had rarely ever used it, and started to brush my teeth.
This had been a new habit as I had found my teeth growing yellower by the day, so I decided to start it; I was not a complete degenerate after all.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw a man who could be described as a mess. Scraggly hair, messed-up facial hair, and drooping black circles around my eyes made me look like a dead man walking.
Today though, as I had some extra time, I decided to sort my hair out as well.
Looking in the bathroom cupboards, I found an old set of razors that I hardly ever used. Was it dangerous? Maybe.
But it's not like I really cared.
So I gave myself a quick shave and cut my hair while I was at it, creating a face that was maybe a 7/10 on a good day.
I was never really handsome, but I was never ugly, so I never really cared much about my appearance growing up.
I was, by most standards, average, except for one: my eyes.
They were the one thing that elevated my 5/10 to a 7/10 in my average appearance. I had a certain disease called heterochromia, which meant that my eye colour was a mix between brown and blue from my 2 respective parents.
It was something I had gotten when I was a child, and it was what made someone who was average into someone who was, well, not average.
It really didn't change much, though; it just kind of looked cool.
Now done with my makeover, I moved down the stairs of my apartment and retrieved my coat from the hanger by the door.
I had my keys in it to save time, and like that, I was done with my morning routine.
I opened the door and closed it behind me, locked it, and then made my way to work.
The dreary sky of London was not the kindest welcome a man could get on a Monday morning, but it was not the worst it could offer.
I shuffled past the morning hustle and bustle of the morning rush, like drones in a firework display—actually, no, I take that back.
A firework display is far too interesting for what everyone is doing right now. It's more like dominoes moving in order, and even that is slightly complimentary.
So lifeless, so boring, what was even the point?
Ah.
I looked at my phone while I walked, the bright screen slightly illuminating the dark world around me.
I opened up the one app that helped me fight through the monotony of everyday life. As I did, I even found one of my favourite novels had gotten an update, even though the author was on holiday.
A natural smile crept up on my face, an unnatural movement for my kind.
Yet as my walking and looking continued, I noticed everyone around me had stopped. Was there an accident?
That was interesting; maybe I should take a look. I released the phone from my hand and looked up.
But instead of seeing a dreary sky, I saw a blue sky, a radiant sun, and no cloud in sight. What? How was this even possible?
Around me, people looked shocked, and most took out their phones and took pictures. Okay, I admit it was strange, but not that strange; British weather was notoriously unreliable.
So, what was I missing?
That was when I saw it—a bright blue beam randomly appearing in the sky. It shot down like some UFO type thing and seemed to disappear shortly after.
Again, I saw it. It kept occurring like some sort of light show in a nightclub.
I stared at the sky and noticed it was speeding up; more lights were appearing and disappearing.
Then one of the lights happened near me, and it encompassed a person. They seemed to be shocked, and as a light slowly surrounded the person, they disappeared!?
What?
What was this, some kind of kidnapping by aliens? Was I perhaps dreaming? I punched myself, and the answer appeared to be no.
So, what could explain this phenomenon?
Ah, this is way too much thought for 6 AM.
This time the light illuminated me, and I found myself glowing as light started to surround me. So, as a sane man, I started to scream. "HELP ME," I pleaded, yet I found that many others were also being surrounded.
The light was impenetrable, it seemed, as even someone who tried to punch what looked to be his wife's light was reeling in pain from the impact, and he was not a man I would even think of messing with.
As my mind was ablaze from its torrential thoughts, I finally noticed—for maybe the first time in my life—that I was honestly shocked. It reminded me of the time I read my first fantasy novel online—that feeling of wonder at a whole new world just waiting to be explored, and I could do it.
So, as I felt my mind collapse in on itself, I found a strange excitement filling my entire being.
Wait, I'm not going to get probed, am I?
NOOOooo...