There's a guy I've been interested in for a while now.
"Mira! You have to come with me! I knew you had good taste!"
One of my group members in science found out and dragged me into her club after school when she found out. I just wanted to watch over him by myself so normally I would have refused.
But lately, I've been thinking having some comrades could be useful. Or am I imagining underlings?
I sat in the room next to the girl I only knew from limited class periods as I listened to girls gush over over perfect our school Idol "Ian" was.
You know, I really adore Ian. But hearing them drone on about how he has no faults and everything about him is perfect. They say he's great at sports, he's the top of his class, he's extremely popular. Blah, blah.
Sigh, as I thought I should admire Ian on my own, I can't see eye to eye with these girls at all.
"Now let's present this week's haul! Photos of our beloved Ian!"
The girls squealed.
"…"
I stayed in my seat, silent.
The girl who appeared to be the current president lifted up a curtain on the wall, revealing something quite disturbing, and pinned the new photos to the wall with a proud expression.
"Why are all of the photos side shots?"
I involuntarily let part of my thoughts out of my mouth.
"We support him in secret!"
One girl rushed to defend the club president.
'What part of this helps him?'
"We just want to appreciate his beauty!"
Another girl fervently followed up.
'And you think you're entitled to that?'
Numerous more members spoke up in support of their present and their club activities.
'No, but seriously. What teacher signed off on this club? Do they not ever ask what they do in this club?'
"Do you have any other club activities? Something you do that helps Ian?"
I prodded at the situation.
"We cheer for him at his matches!"
"And sometimes his practices too!"
"I gave him my math homework!"
"I made him a scarf!"
"I sit under the bleachers with a cooler of water bottles and hand them out to his soccer team! I also schedule their games, and order more supplies through the school!"
'Aren't you more of a team manager than a fan girl? Get going to practice already, why are you here? More like, is the coach letting you do all that?'
"I clean the boys' bathroom at night!"
'Just go get a job. What are they teaching in this club?'
"I made Ian an intensive training schedule that centers around making him more resistant to the heat!"
'Is this one a fitness trainer now? But more than that…'
"…Why does he need to be more resistant to the heat?"
"Our Ian is so fashionable that lately he's into fall fashion. He's getting ahead of the curb! We could never hope to achieve such high fashion!"
'Huh… but… its… May. Is that really how they justify that he never stopped layering up from the winter? High fashion?'
As I glanced around the room, there didn't seem to be any disagreements, they all seemed caught up in their own fantasies.
I felt pangs on the palms of my hands, I glanced down.
'Ah, I was gripping too hard.'
I shook my hands under the table before raising my gaze again.
'Not only do they not understand his true charm, these girls are on the verge of becoming criminals in the name of adoration.'
There didn't seem to be an ounce of order in the room as the members all clamored on with several disturbing stories mixed in.
'Whether I get them to cooperate or not, I can't leave these ones alone to harass Ian any longer.'
I stood up.
"Isn't the way that Ian dropped his phone and picked it up thinking no one noticed adorable? Even though everyone saw but just averted their gaze right away?"
I spoke up, beginning to explain to the group what was truly great about Ian."
"Um, well… everything he does is perfect."
The president spoke like a broken record.
"His clumsiness is precious. But what's even more adorable is his naivety. Of course we saw. He's always the center of attention! How can he not realize that? Isn't it super adorable!?"
I spoke more fervently to the room.
"Well he is the best, no matter what he does."
Another member began to speak.
'How determined are they to only see him as flawless?'
It baffled me. How can they claim to be his biggest admirers if they can't even see what's in front of him.
"What was it someone said? Fall fashion? High fashion? How many people in this room would ever wear striped sweatpants and a floral sweatshirt together? In May? To the point where you sweat through the layers? And still not take it off?"
"…"
"Don't insult our Ian!"
"Yeah shut it anti-fan!"
After taking a few moments to process my words, a few of the more fiery members began to hurl rejections towards me.
"No!"
I slammed the table with both hands.
"That clumsy behavior and disregard without realizing how bad it is just increases his charm! Does it make sense to be human and make no mistakes?! Retaining his charm, no! Increasing his charm through his obliviousness makes him the coolest guy in school!!"
I saw many puzzled expressions in response to my passionate speech.
"Ian is cool because he is perfect!"
"Perfection is an illusion!"
I yelled back, half-forgetting what I had set out to do.
"Being able to own your mistakes and weaknesses and make them into something in your favor makes someone truly cool!"
I followed up on my argument before anyone could say anything else in opposition.
"…He was pretty cute when he smiled after dropping his phone."
"He looked so relieved it wasn't broken!"
A couple of the girls began to join in on my pitch.
The president however, grimaced as she was losing traction.
I spent the next 3 hours recounting my favorite aspects of Ian that made him imperfectly perfect.
A couple weeks after my first club meeting, I had began making excellent progress in winning over the members to my point of view, encouraging them to do tasks that benefitted Ian, not themselves. After thinking about it, the ones who were supporting his team or helping around the school were really the members who were the most selfless. The current president was about to graduate, so I spent all of my excess time in the club demonstrating my dedication and adoration to Ian. The more I was around the members and observed Ian, the more determined I was to take charge of the band of misfits. I took the members to the kitchen several times a week to practice baking together. I told them we had to get used to baking to give Ian beautiful cookies. They were all very motivated.
Another couple weeks later, the president graduated. We kept meeting after that as the soccer team still met at the school over the break. I won over the members without the president there and became the club's new boss… no their president.
Now that they were in my grasp, I had a few changes to make.
The first thing to go was sneak photography.
It was a zero exception policy and I kicked out a few members as an example to the others. Sure they complained. But the paperwork has been filled. I've discovered the club counselor is very hands off and won't fill out additional paperwork unless his life is on the line, meaning- my spot here is secure for the next year.
It won't take me that long to establish the new rules and duties in their minds.
Ian looks more tired every day. I have to quickly mold the remaining members minds into supporters that only think of being his support.
That's why I bothered with overtaking this club.