Orangish sky, windless atmosphere, and sweat all combined to form an evening of october. Sometimes I just wonder why the hell seasons don't behave as they should. You expect cold or some signs of autumn nobody expects that sweaty humidity in September. Anyways I'm too free to even think about this climatic stuff. Who the hell even takes a thought to think about these things?
I'm lying on the bed with the tint of yellow-orange rays of the evening covering half of my naked body. thinking about what would have happened if I had a fixed goal at a young age so I would have worked in that specific direction, I could have gained some dope skills till I reached my twenties and I could continue in my profession.
I'm just barely alive in a hope that I could still nail something. Even though I have no skills except to think about random stuff which has zero impact on my life and career.
I was frowning on myself and a tsunami of guilt and regrets was just about to hit me, I decided to go somewhere out just for now to avoid any mental breakdown.
I put on a blue t-shirt which smelled awful, of course, I never remembered washing it since the day I bought it. Pretty nasty for normal humans if they see my lifestyle. Next, I put on shorts and got out of that house as quickly as possible.
Random bird sounds in the background, annoying voices of kids playing in the park, and a bunch of senior citizens staring at me for no reason. So mediocre life, nothing quite adventurous, I felt a sudden urge to have ice cream, went by to the nearby shop, and asked for one big scoop of butterscotch.
There was a tiny woman at the counter and a brown-haired girl with nerd glasses was sitting behind the desk and running her fingers on the calculator. There was a sudden tickle in my memory and I remembered her, she was one of my friends whom I used to play with like the annoying kids.
As the wise man said childhood is the best part of all our parts of life, the innocent stupidity we carry in ourselves, a storm of endless curiosities to do something new and adventures I'm overwhelmed by the experience of my nostalgia, I just put a brake on my trip and decided to say 'hi' to her,
I got my order but a sudden feeling of hesitation captured me. I mean I can remember her but what if she can't? I have an unusual habit of remembering every small useless detail of my previous stages of life. Every person I ever talked with gets a reserved seat in my hippocampus.
And even if she recognizes me, then what?...
We don't have anything in common to talk about, a conversation needs a topic. I remembered her father owned a garment shop before and was quite skilled in tailoring and clever in doing business.
He maintained good relations in the neighborhood, gave quick loans to the ones in need, and had an extremely calm-headed personality. I endorsed him even more than any celebrities and public figures.
Mr. Wiran had 2 daughters the one I knew was named 'mayo' and her big sister I know nothing about.
He was a man of focus and determination. Never took a single holiday from work, and I never saw him partying with old junkies of his age. I wonder what would have happened with him.
Again I got lost in the chain of thoughts after munching on the butterscotch I headed back home... I was thinking of doing salesmanship while I was walking on red spots of footpath avoiding the yellow, the child never died inside of me.
From a wide distance, I saw big baggage of trash-like things beside my home I wonder who would've thrown out this monstrous trash in front of our house.
When I got closer to it, I saw my stuff inside of it, my clothes, a couple of books and diaries, a pencil box, slippers, and my smelly undergarments.
I knew this was the worst possible outcome that happened right now At this moment. My uncle had returned and now I'm in an empty pit of hopelessness devouring me slowly like a crocodile devours a wildebeest.