A wispy darkness consumed Phoebe's consciousness, pulling on the threads of her being. She was being separated in the void her mind existed in. Intense screaming could be heard, maybe even felt – was it a memory or someone yelling at her?
Phoebe believed it makes complete sense why someone would shout at her.
Phoebe believed her self-awareness was sufficient to be certain of everyone's hatred of her.
She didn't want to go back. Not ever again.
"Please don't make me set myself up for failure again. I don't want to fail again."
The illusion faded and reality became clear again.
"Why are you running away!?" Kate screamed, jamming her gaze into the scenery around Phoebe. Even as Kate was yelling, the surroundings seemed eerily still. The melancholy hotel lights illuminated the scene – an unslept-in bed, neatly arranged water glasses with no one to use them, and a suitcase packed to the brim.
"Answer me, Phoebe! You can't keep doing this! You can't keep thinking only of yourself!"
The television in the suite was broadcasting the New York Space Agency function that was occurring downstairs – the announcements of their future plans and new staffing changes as the future rapidly approaches.
The formation of the NYSA Science Protection Units.
"When was the last time you talked to Leonel? Or Juno? You can barely look your own sister in her eyes nowadays!"
Tears flowed down Phoebe's face, rendering her vision blurred and her dull surroundings became sickly.
"Well?" Kate walked closer.
Phoebe's weak stance became increasingly evident as she meekly stared down at the patterned carpet.
To Phoebe, this was all her fault.
Maybe she was the monster.
*
A thin pink veil covered the frozen horizon, emphasizing the horrific expanse of the icy continent, and the malignant beauty of the Antarctic night sky. The waters were unnervingly calm, the heavens above posing with cloaked evil, the slightest layer of grey mist to hide the obvious dangers the stars had in store for the unsuspecting world.
The NYSA scout drone drifted amid the still beauty of the unoccupied world.
But the stars could still be seen. Radiating differing wavelengths of light, reaching many corners of the earth, and illuminating all they could. The scouting drone was just one of the things the stars overlooked.
The purpose of the fleet of surveillance drones was to scan for dangers, for threats to NYSA and the American Empire as an entirety. It is just one of many droids belonging to the largest space and defence institution in the world, and its fleet guards the allies of The Eastern States against any threats from the other warring nations. Nowadays, these conflicts are very few and of little to no damage, and many doubt they are even at war with each other.
Everything is perfect.
Despite the tension between nations, everyone is happier than they were decades ago. Renewable energy sources are widely used, and efficiency has been near perfected. Cities were bustling and vibrant, with lively markets under the blue sky, and a sweet neon ambience at night.
It was a utopia.
Everything was fine.
The pale red light shifted to a reassuring green, and the drone systematically turned and began its route back to the NYSA Antarctician Outpost, assured of its immediate safety whilst protecting the base from many potential threats.
And so, the drone drifted alone, in its perfectly timed route, performing the final stages of its routine operation, in the forgiving breeze of a soothing time.
The world returned to the Antarctic night, its winter rapidly approaching with mundane haste.
*
The midnight vibrance of New York City radiated light in all directions through the voids of the hearts of the people within. Being 2088, New York City was considered at the height of its magnificence, not like the retro feel of the 2050s, or even the old-fashioned elegance of the 2020s – 2088 New York City was one of the best places to be in the world, its opportunities and experiences are reflected by the bright spectacles and fluorescent signs.
Yet the neon stars were obscured by the presence of this wonderful artificial beauty.
Phoebe stood on the industrial greyed footpath, on the line between comfort and carelessness, her figure glowing from purple and red lights from different sides of the street. People were marching happily past her, attending late-night social gatherings, enjoying the smell of freedom, or simply taking in memories of a utopian society that no one can take away from them.
But Phoebe was still.
Standing strong against the whirlwind of personalities, Phoebe considered her options thoroughly. Her suitcase was packed and provided insurance by her side. Her umbrella protected her against the accelerating rain, but her memories offered friends and the need to live with people she loved more than anything in the world.
"Please don't run away!" A familiar voice echoed in the loneliest parts of Phoebe's mind. She opened her eyes and started to wheel her suitcase with an extended umbrella, protecting herself from the soft harshness of the rain, and barricading herself to the world she feared. Phoebe lifted her eyes and saw Kate, exposed to the judgements of the downpour.
"Please don't run away!" Kate repeated, this time with softer intentions.
A wave of warm sadness overwhelmed Phoebe, claiming a tear and a state of vulnerability.
"We're here for you Phoebe," Kate assured her, "Leonel, Juno, Purity. They all love you!"
Phoebe closed her umbrella, exposing her to the rain, subjecting her to the same level as Kate.
"They never wanted me here! It would be better if I left the NYSA- if I left everything behind!"
Kate only stepped closer cautiously, studying Phoebe's memories, interactions, and feelings, through the broken beauty of her gentle face. She didn't say anything, however, looked into her eyes to attempt to convey what can't be communicated with simple words. Kate wanted to support her with all her heart, and she couldn't stand to see her run away from distress.
"I'm sorry. I was only thinking of myself. I was only thinking of the immediate future. I'm tired of making myself feel so alone," Phoebe stammered into the darkness of the city's intensity.
"It's okay. Just promise me you'll be here for me"
Phoebe rushed over to Kate, embracing her with sadness, tightly holding onto her as if Kate was a fragment of her mind that she did not want to lose.
The colours swirled in the abyss of night, the memories rose against the cruelty of the world and the consciousness lost sight of everything else that was supposed to matter.
Everything is going to be okay.