Sharon had mixed emotions. She was not sure whether she was angry or hurt; or was she glad that her children did what they did. Part of her heart felt betrayed, for she continued to ask,
"My children, how could you have watched me crying every day, while you knew that you had Jeremy here with you? I cannot believe that while we distributed all those missing person fliers; he was actually in the attic right here in this house. I have never felt that much betrayed."
And then another part of her was grateful. She thought that maybe if they had told her, she would have let the cat out of the bag? Or would she? She told them,
"I should have known. There was no way I would have ever told anyone where he was, because he was my son. I worried about his safety; I too would have worked to protect him. You should have told me."
Feelings of anger also clouded her being:
"Jacob I thought I raised you well, yet you can still managed to lie to me with a straight face? If only you had told me, I would have had a chance to see my son and talk to him, before he chose to take his own life."
"We are very sorry, mother," Jacob pleaded sincerely.
Except for the sounds of the mother's crying, there was silence. She felt a burden. She was grateful to Jacob that, at the most difficult time in Jeremy's life, the older brother managed to stand up for his sibling. And she appreciated Nesisa, who risk her entire family's life while protecting Jeremy.
But the anger did not go away. The feeling of treachery lingered on. They might have protected Jeremy yes; but still they lied to her. The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. Slowly her limbs began to shake, but she did not even realise it. Bitterness took over.
Justice had not been done to her; she felt that way.
"I am his mother, I should have known!" she burst, surprising both Jacob and Nesisa.
"I should have known where he was! Right now I have a lot of questions, for example are you sure that on the day that this Tessa girl came here, it was the last day you saw him?"
"Yes mum. Nesisa told him to go and hide at the neighbors' and we never saw him again." Jacob stated truthfully.
"I cannot believe that! If the two of you managed to collaborate and lie to me before, then you can still do it! Once a liar, always a liar!" She stood up and wailed, with her hands in her head.
"Mamma please calm down."
"No, Nesisa. You cannot tell me to calm down! I used to ask you ten or more times daily, if there was any news from the police about his whereabouts; and you said no. You lied to me, my daughter-in-law. You looked me in the eyes, while I cried my soul out, and you lied."
"I am sorry, mother."
"You have Elvis here. If anything was to happen to him, and I deliberately kept the issues from you, how would that feel?"
"It's painful, mother. We're very sorry, but trust us mamma; it was all done for Jeremy. We never thought that he was stressed to the point of thinking of drowning himself."
"If only I had spoken to him, I would have picked that. I am his mother, I would have known! My child…my Jeremy is gone just like that!"
Jacob and Nesisa exchanged glances; both of them regretting why they had ever chosen to keep the secret from their mother in the first place. Maybe they could have just told her? But it was never safe that way. Even Jeremy himself had agreed with Jacob and Nesisa. There were very high chances that Sharon was going to tell the church ladies about Jeremy hiding in the attic. She considered them to be family, sometimes to the irritation of her sons. She over trusted them, and there was no holding back on her side.
"Now tell me," Sharon proceeded. "Tell me where he is now! He is in the grave, is he not? Did he ever mention to you that he had thoughts of suicide?"
"No he never…"
"I don't mean talking about it openly! Not many people would say I plan to commit suicide. I'm talking about hints in his speech. Did you ever pick any hints while you spoke to him? He must have highlighted it; with statements like there is no reason to live…I am tired of life…the world would be better without me…anything like that. Did he ever mention anything like that?"
"No mother, he did not."
"What about to you, Jacob?" Sharon looked at her son with teary eyes.
"He did not say anything in those lines, mother."
"Well but he did it!" she snapped. "My son committed suicide, which means the plan was on his mind for a long time. No-one wakes up one day and thinks of taking their own life and carries it out on that same day. It's a process. He nursed the idea for a while before carrying it out. My children, I am hurt."
"We're very sorry, mamma." Nesisa tried to hug her.
"No, Nesisa! Don't hug me for now! This could have been avoided; do you hear me? My son's death could have been avoided! If only you had listened closely, you would have picked the hints. If I was there, I would have known. I am his mother; I would have managed to know. And who knows; maybe you never had time to listen to him; my poor son was locked up in an attic. Oh I am very heartbroken. My poor son."
"Mamma, we're very sorry. We did everything with the thought of helping to save Jeremy's life. Gareth was serious that he wanted him dead; so we could not sit back and watch him dying. We did what we thought was best." Jacob entreated for mercy.
"And me? You chose to keep the secret from me as well? Why? Why was I not told about it?"
"We are sorry, mamma."
"Stop apologizing! That won't bring my son back to me! Now tell me truthfully, do you have any other secret that you would like to tell me now? Huh, Jacob?"
"There is nothing else, mother. That was the only secret I had to tell you."
"And you, Nesisa? What else would you like to tell me?"
"Umm, I'm sorry mum but I promised to send Kiara the video of Jeremy's funeral. She asked for it, and she was crying so much that I felt sorry for her. I have not yet sent it to her."
"You should not have made such a promise, Nesisa." Sharon was disappointed. "Kiara caused my son's death. We cannot be promising her anything. Do not give her the video, please. Is there any other secret?"
"Nothing else, mum." Nesisa responded.
Sharon continued to talk: "So do you both swear to me that on the night of his disappearance, you both had nothing to do with it?"
"We swear." They chorused.
"And the diary? You stayed with my son for so long, and you never realised that he kept a diary?"
"We never saw it, mum." Nesisa replied.
"Jacob? Your brother had a diary. Did you know anything about it?"
"Not at all, dear mother," Jacob said pitifully.
"And the girl Tessa? We need to find out about her."
"I already tried that, mother. I did a research until I managed to find out where her parents stay. And I searched even further. Apparently when she left this place, she went to her home. Two days later she secretly left the country, and according to the source who told me, she wants the dust to settle. She will come back to her home later on."
"How reliable is your source??" Sharon asked.
"Very reliable, mum. I managed to get in touch with a person who had a hand in seeing Tessa out of the country."
"And he opened up to you all those secrets?" Sharon doubted what her son was saying.
"He did, mum. It was after I also opened up to him; telling him that my brother was in trouble with the Pinkertons. So we had a common enemy; we needed to work as a team. I did not tell him the details of our issue; I just made it appear as if Jeremy was an employee at the Pinkertons, and he had messed up at work…something like that."
"You're telling me the truth, are you not?" Sharon quizzed.
"It is the truth, mother." He genuinely responded.
"I see," Sharon walked to one of the bedrooms, closed the door firmly behind her, and started weeping for her son afresh.