Dear Mum, Jacob, Nesisa and baby Elvis
I wanted to go far away from home, but I realised that there is nowhere for me to go. I am shattered. I needed to talk to someone, but even if I were to sit in front of a person, I don't think I would have known what to say. I wanted to pour it all out in my diary, but the pen and the pages seemed to disagree with me. My hand froze while I held the pen, and the diary itself seemed to be deserting me too.
Someone once told me the power of a diary. I was told that a diary can be a friend, a place to pour out all of life's troubles and grievances. The person told me that a diary helps to relive stress.
I tried using it, but I failed. There are numerous entries in my diary, but it was all useless. I did not feel it…. I did not feel the pain reducing, neither did it make me feel better in any way.
I have too much pain. I am not good. I am not the best person for you to be around…I have to leave.
Nothing you say or do can heal my heart; it's best that I leave.
And when I leave, please don't bother looking for me. For I will make sure that there is no trace of me whatsoever. I will go far, far away. And when I reach that place, I will drown myself at a spot where I am sure to become food for the sea creatures. The crocodiles in the city river will feast on me today.
Let me go. As painful as it is to say goodbye, I have to go. Let me go; this is for the best.
My presence will ruin everything for the entire family, because whenever I am around, there is no peace. You will be harassed left right and centre; and you do not deserve such a life.
I have failed to accept how my life turned out. I tried my best, believe me. I tried my best but I failed. For how long will I be locked away; for how long will I play hide and seek?
I am now good for nothing but to become food for the crocodiles.
By the time you see this note; the crocodiles will have already had their meal.
Let me go, mum. The pain that I have caused you…I know. I know that it's too much pain, mum, but you will heal. One day you will talk about me and be able to laugh and smile, because the pain will have subsided.
Celebrate life, my dear family. Don't spend it mourning over me. Celebrate life and live it to the fullest. You all deserve to be happy.
I love you all.
Jeremy Richard Rain
***
My final letter to you, Kiara
Today I have made a decision; and it is a decision to take my own life. Not in the way of hanging myself or drinking some poison, but I will give myself as food to the crocodiles in the city river. This is for the best; trust me Kiara.
I cannot possibly begin to tell you the things that I want to tell you. I cannot say them all, for they can never be put on paper.
You know me, Kiara. You know how much I loved you, and you know that I would have given my own life for you. This is what I am doing now. I am giving up my life for you. For your happiness, Kiara; because to me; you are the most precious human being under the sun.
As long as I am alive, you can never be happy. You will always wonder where I am and whether or not I am safe. I don't want you to live a life of worry. And I don't know what Vine will say or do to you, knowing that I am alive. He will always be suspicious of you. That is not good for you, my Kiara.
As long as I am alive, Kiara my love, your heart will always be torn between me and him; Vine. I don't want you to have to wake up every morning and realise that your heart is struggling to choose who to belong to. You have to be happy, Kiara.
Vine and yourself have a son together. Live. Live your life to the full. Enjoy it. For the sake of that little boy; do your best to be happy
I love you enough to make you free of me.
This is it; Kiara my love. It was an honour.
JRR
***
Gareth was seated on a chair, taking stock of his life as an employee at the Pinkertons. He felt he had not done too well, of late. It was difficult for him to believe that he had failed to find Jeremy; and one of the bodyguards; together with Tessa, a hungry and sickly Tessa; had managed to just slip from under his nose.
He hated it. He hated it with his entire being. He stood up and kicked at nothing, anger welling and balling up from within.
His phone rang and he pulled it out. Seeing a new number, he became even more irritated.
"Who the hell are you?" he yelled angrily.
"You don't get to yell at me, Gareth! You killed him! You caused his death!" a female voice cried.
"Huh? Who is this?" he became alert.
"This is Nesisa. You said I should call you when he comes back home; and I am calling you now, to tell you what you always wanted to hear. He is dead! Jeremy is dead!"
"Impossible!" Gareth sighed.
"He's gone! You drove him to his death, Gareth…" she cried so much that for a moment Gareth felt guilty.
He tried to ask further questions, but the line was already disconnected. Wasting no more time, Gareth called his mean and they drove over to Jacob and Nesisa's home.
Upon arrival, Nesisa was sitting on the floor, crying hysterically. Jacob was also there, holding his son, looking extremely depressed.
"What happened?" Gareth asked.
"He chose to drown himself…" Jacob answered. "My brother; my only brother is dead."
Gareth faced the floor and was not too sure what to say.
"Where is he? I mean, his body?" he corrected himself.
Jacob took the letter which Jeremy had written to Kiara, and he tossed it at Gareth's feet. Gareth read it and asked, "did he give this to you in person?"
"We found it at the front door in the morning." Jacob explained.
"Oh," Gareth said. "So do you think by now he has already drowned? As per the letter, he plans to throw himself into the river, doesn't he?"
No-one responded.
Gareth straightened himself and said, "we will have to find him. Get ready, we will all go and look for him."
"We will have to involve the police," Jacob said.
"No. Don't worry about that. Let's go and find him. I will personally handle the police issue." Gareth walked towards his car, ready to go and find Jeremy's body.