According to what Jeremy had said, his mother was going to be attending the training session again on the second Sunday of the month. From the day that she had last visited Jeremy, Kiara felt like she had not seen him in a decade, and she terribly missed him. The eagerness to see him might have been heightened by the fact that the two were not calling each other.
Determined not to miss the Sunday opportunity, Kiara called Tessa to her bedroom, and she outlined the plan, stating that she badly needed to go out on that day.
"Ma'am, every day I pray that I won't have to be part of the sneaking ever again. Please, ma'am, do not ask me to do this." The young maid entreated.
"This will be the last time," Kiara said.
Not believing a word Kiara said, Tessa started to reluctantly work on the plans. Since Kiara had already left the child with lady Pinkerton, using her usual reason of wanting to get undisturbed sleep, she went on to ask Tessa to help her out. It happened by coincidence that on that Sunday, Tessa was supposed to be off. While she should have left the mansion in the morning of the said day, the young maid pretended to be busy until it was evening.
The drivers were thinking the work for the day was already done, when Tessa asked to be driven home. She told the man that there were two of them who had failed to leave in the morning due to too much work.
By the same trick previously used, Tessa and Kiara found themselves sitting in the back seat of the car. The latter wore heavy make-up and also a wig; anything to disguise herself to the maximum.
Upon arriving at the Rains' house, Kiara walked straight to the kitchen door and knocked.
Startled, since he had not expected any visitors, Jeremy walked towards the door and peeped.
"Who's there?" he asked.
"Scared?" Kiara asked before laughing at the scared man.
The man, after having picked the voice of his love, smiled brightly and opened the door, taking her in his arms for a long, loving embrace.
"You're here," he said in a soft voice.
"Yes, I recalled that you said Mrs Rain would be away today. Did she travel for the training?"
"She did," Jeremy smiled.
Jeremy, all the while, had been making a lot of entries in the diary. He had written so many letters, with most of them full of questions for Kiara. He had bitterness, and he wanted to get answers.
What surprised him the most was that, while Kiara was away, he felt the need to ask her many questions and demand for answers, yet whenever he saw her standing in front of him, all his energy seemed to drain out of him.
Why was it that whenever he was alone, he cried a lot and had a lot of questions for her; yet when she stood in front of her, he failed to utter a word? He hated that. He hated it. She was his weakness. His love for her was his greatest weakness. He hated what she did to her; yet he loved her too much to hate her. He could not bring himself to ask her. She was happy when she was with him, and he did not want to be the one to spoil it.
He ended up convincing himself in his heart that it was OK. Everything in their lives was perfectly OK; for being with Kiara was good enough. His heart made him believe that he needed nothing else, as long as Kiara was by his side.
He led her into the house, locked the door and kissed her.
"I'm very hungry. I couldn't eat the whole of today, due to anxiety," Kiara said in-between the wild kisses.
"I have something to eat. I was about to start eating, so you can join me."
Kiara frowned and asked, "Why do you eat this late? I'm used to you eating supper very early."
"Well," Jeremy smiled. "I'm all alone and I was too lazy to cook anything. But I ended up cooking anyway."
They sat at the table and started eating the pasta that Jeremy had prepared.
Jeremy felt both happy and sad at the same time. He was happy to be with her; happy to have her in his arms, but also sad. Sad because it was all temporary.
The two were thoroughly enjoying each other's company, failing to keep their hands off each other. He kissed her ever so lovingly, giving her his all, while she also gave him her all. Their souls had a strong connection, and they could swear that when they were together, they did not think of anything or anyone else.
Jeremy loved her with his all; and she too. The separation had made each heart grow fonder. They realised that since they had never before been separated, it was a new painful feeling, which they both struggled to handle.
The two spoke about their diaries. She was glad that he was using his; and she wanted to read it, but he said no. She begged to just take peak, and he did not give in. How could he? How could he let her see all the letters; the pouring from the deepest part of his heart? The letters were too painful for him, what more could they have done to her? Did he really want her to know the depth of pain which she had caused; or he preferred to have her just imagine it, and never know how deep it was? Could it ever be fathomed; and if so, what damage would that knowledge bring to her? He could not do that to her. He loved her too much to make her understand the depth of her error. He chose to cushion her.
He held her face, and stroked and kissed her with so much gentleness; as if he feared to break her. It was as if she was a feather, which could easily be deformed; or a thin layer of glass, which could easily be shattered. She was that precious to him, and he loved her with his entire soul.
He made love to her, pouring out his all to her, giving his everything. At that moment nothing else mattered; for in his entire life, nothing else had ever really mattered. She had always been the one that mattered. She had always been the core of his living.
When they both fell asleep in each other's arms, they felt like heaven had descended and settled right there, in the Rain's home; or rather they had been lifted up and placed within it: heaven!
It was after a while that he opened his eyes and looked at her. She instinctively raised her eyes to meet his, and they both smiled at each other.
"Kiara, who does Vincent look like?" Jeremy asked.
A frown appeared on her face, but it quickly disappeared.
"Well, lady Pinkerton always says he looks like Vine. But when I look at him, as funny as it sounds, I see images of you when you were a child. I don't necessarily remember how you looked like as a toddler, but from your baby photos that I have, I would say Vincent looks like you."
There was silence.
"Do you think he is mine?" he finally asked, pain lacing his voice.
"I don't think so, I'm sorry. I have told myself many times that, since I wanted so badly for him to be yours, that's why I see you in him."
"Has Vine ever commented on the child's looks?" he asked, dreading the response; but he wanted to hear it.
"Vine hardly ever talks to me," came the response.
He nodded his head. How was he supposed to respond? Was he to be happy or sad? Happy for himself, maybe. Sad for her….maybe. It must have been terrible for her to be ignored like that. But did he really want Vine to talk to her? No. It was good as it was. It was all OK. He would not have it any other way. He smiled.
"The Pinkertons obviously used one of the best person for the DNA test. That's why I strongly believe that Vincent Lisandro is Vine's son," Kiara said.
"I know. I also think I badly wanted him to be mine that I see my features in him. But then again, not all babies look like their daddies," Jeremy tried to console himself.
Forcing himself to push all those thoughts at the back of his mind, Jeremy pulled Kiara closer to him.
She placed her head on his chest, hearing his soft breathing, loving every moment of it. He held her as close to him as he could, and once again wished if the world clock could freeze at that time.
"Are you on the pill? Maybe you and I can make our own baby now, and then you will find a reason to leave him," he said.
Kiara sat up abruptly and looked straight into his eyes, fear clouding her vision.
"Jeremy! Should you really talk about pregnancy? I am on the pill, but trust me; if it ever fails to work and I get pregnant, I would be in serious trouble!"
"You're joking," he said.
"Well, I'm not!" she shrugged.
"How so? I thought the Pinkertons would be glad to have another little one. Why would they not like a little heir or heiress to their kingdom? " He asked, raising his eyebrows and his tone full of mockery.
"Jeremy, you don't get it. If I get pregnant, they would immediately know that I cheated."
"How? Will they rush to do a DNA test while the child is still in the uterus?" he scorned.
"No Jeremy! I…I mean...Vine...Vine has never touched me. It's impossible for me to get pregnant. He has never touched me." She said, sounding as if she was feeling ashamed.
On hearing that, Jeremy sat up. He was so excited by the news that he missed the note of shame in Kiara's voice.
"He has never touched you, you say?" his voice was full of joy; sounding like that of a little boy who had just acquired a new, long-awaited for toy.
"Never," Kiara said in a husky voice.
"Why? Did you say no to him? How did that happen? I really want to know."
"Well, he is not in love with me, just like I am not in love with him. Besides talking about Vincent, we have no other topics to discuss."
"That sure sounds good," Jeremy smiled. "Then why won't he let you go?"
"His grandmother wants me there. I believe one day he will let me go, but even if I leave, Jeremy, do you think you and I still have anything to hold on to? I messed up, Jeremy; I messed up big time." She shook her head sadly, blaming herself over and over again.
"We do have a chance, Kiara. I will gladly take you back if …"
"Mrs Rain, Jeremy! I'm talking about Mrs Rain!! Will Mrs Rain ever accept and acknowledge me as a life partner to you? Your mother loved me with all her heart, and I caused her pain. There is no way I can walk back into your life, with another man's child, and expect her to welcome me!" she failed to control herself, and broke into tears.
"Come on, Kiara, don't cry. The decision is in my hands, and I made a decision long ago; a decision not to give up on us." his voice was full of hurt.
"Life is not that easy, Jeremy. Look at me now; I am stuck in the Pinkerton home because Vine's grandmother wants me there. If everything could go according to Vine, I would have left that place ages ago! It's the same here; you may want me, but your mum has her own views of me, which may not make it possible for us to get back together ever again." The young lady cried bitterly.
"Well Kiara, my mum will have to understand and accept you. On the day that you shall come back to me, you will find me waiting, loving you more than you have ever been loved before."
*** . .
Letters to Kiara
Letter 103
Kiara, my love, I was more than happy that you visited me today.
It is difficult to put on paper the feeling that I got when I knew that Vine has never touched you. He did well, because he knows not to touch what does not belong to him. You are mine, Kiara. You belong to me, just as I too belong to you.
I will be waiting for you, my love. At one point, you believed that dating should start at age sixteen. You promised me, when we were just young children, that you were going to wait for me; and indeed you waited.
I was full of fear, Kiara; full of fear on the day that you turned sixteen. To the young me, it felt like on the following day you were going to find a boyfriend. I thought that was how automatic it was. I was naïve, Kiara. My greatest fear was the fear of losing you.
And you kept your promise. I don't know what we were thinking; sometimes I laugh when I think of those days, my love. I cannot point to a day when we started dating, for to me, we dated our entire lives. Our love never had a beginning; it was just there from the first day, even though we hardly ever spoke about it. And just in the same way, it can never have an ending.
Do you remember, my love, on the day that I turned sixteen? You gave me a gift; with a card written, "Finally my boyfriend. Happy birthday!"
I have never forgotten that day; and I kept the card until now, because it meant a lot to me.
Kiara, just like you waited for me those years ago; I will wait for you, my love. My mother may have a totally different opinion, but I will wait.
I will forever love you. I will wait for you; and the more I wait, the more my love for you grows. I love you Kiara.
Patiently waiting; JRR