C:
The club determined we should attempt to contact Ian through GGK's forum. It was a private group, and their admissions process involved beating Karl at a game on stream. And, naturally, you had to make a "donation" to get a spot in a queue to play Karl. Karl was an old fan of 2d fighting games like Backstreet Brawler 2 and Dragon Riders FighterZ, so we figured that was what he'd be playing.
Marla came over and we discussed what to do. Lately, she'd been dressing more casually around me. She changed out of her uniform into jean cutoffs and a white tank with stringy straps dangling off her shoulder.
She sat in the downstairs living room while I brought my game systems from my room and hooked them up on the 4k TV. Because of the viral video of me kissing Marla, Paris had restricted the two of us from hanging out in our room. I thought she just wanted to bother us, to be honest.
"That's ok, Marla. I can play him. I've been playing fighting games since I was a little kid. And I've been practicing my combos all week."
I was confident in my skill at fighting games. I was coming off my first online competitive win, so I was on a hot streak. But Marla was skeptical.
"Hmm.... maybe you should just teach me the buttons and I'll do it. You always freak out in pressure situations like this, remember?"
I pretended to be offended, but she was right. When things got tense, I had a tendency to mash buttons and hope for the best. But I couldn't give up that easily. So I proposed a challenge: I'd teach her the basic buttons and then we'd play with each other to determine who'd play Karl.
Really, I should've had a huge advantage. But Marla was surprisingly good at games.
After I got everything setup, the two of us sat on the couch and started to play. This time, she sat right next to me. Sitting up against one another on the couch and I noticed I could see her clavicle and on down into her shirt.
"Andy, are you ready?"
I'd been distracted for a moment. When I came to, the loading screen for Dragon Riders FighterZ was flashing and there was some cheesy metal music blaring.
"Oh no, hold on one sec. I need to get my special controller."
This controller was my secret weapon. Traditionally, many serious fighting game players have preferred to use an arcade stick. Because of the way fighting games work, it's more efficient to use a stick than the usual gaming control pad. But now, there is a new configuration. The Combobreaker 5000 was the newest revolution in fighting game technology from Japan. Instead of buttons, it had gel pads you would stick your fingers on and wiggle around. This increased efficiency by some amazing percentage.
I'd never been much at fighting games. But I felt that the Combobreaker 5000 would give me the boost I needed. Of course, I gave Marla a gamepad.
After I showed her a couple of buttons. We were ready to start our competition.
The player select menu came up, and I ran straight to my favorite character Kujo, the oldest son of Kuja the Monkey King. He had this cool transformation where his hair turned white and stood up like electric spikes. Not knowing any better, Marla picked the worst character. Divel, who is the canon wife of Kujo, but doesn't have much speed or strength. We were set to have a best of twelve, I was confident that between the Combobreaker 5000 and Kujo I'd have no problem beating her.
"Ok Marla, just take it easy. Don't get too upset if you can't win any games at all, it's a tough game. It takes years to learn— hey wait a minute."
"I think I get it."
To my surprise, Marla was cleaning the floor with me. I'd only shown her the basic attacks, not even special attacks, but in about 12 seconds she'd figured out how to cancel an Air Block into a Super Special. After that, it was a total route.
Marla was enjoying her self, her hooting and hollering as she knocked my character around even attracted Paris.
"Oh my, that is quite fun. I go in your room and play some of this when you're at school, you know. I won a tournament a couple of years ago. Oh... oh my Andy... you aren't very good at this game, are you?"
When Paris said this, Marla had just finished me with a very stylish "Final Arc" which required flawless timing on a 25-button combo. I was crushed and defeated, but I was determined to play it all off.
"Haha, wow Marla. You got pretty good at this game. Haha..."
"Paris is right. You aren't very good at games, are you Andy?"
She had me. All I could do was nod, laugh and wait for the moment to pass. But that was when Paris spoke up.
"You know what, I'll challenge you Marla. I'll smack you around a bit."
Paris smiled at Marla, who looked wary. Paris then marched up to us on the couch, pinched my cheek and sat down between Marla and I.
"Andy, hand me the controller."
The two of them had a much more competitive series. But Marla won again.
The last match was especially bitter. It was close, but Marla pulled off a lucky break. Paris sat for a moment, but rage built up inside her. She leapt to her feet and was beat red. Then she started yelling and was foaming at the mouth with her fist shaking in a way I'd never seen her.
"That's... that's insane. This game is broken. The developers don't know what they're doing. And this controller. Gawhhh. That's it, both of you are done."
Paris marched up to my game console and started ripping out the cords. I got up and tried to stop her.
"Paris, hold on. I need this for—"
"Oh no you don't, both of you are done for the night. Get upstairs and get to bed!"
I stopped for a second at the implication that Marla and I head upstairs and go to bed. Marla spoke up.
"Uh, I don't even live here."
After a few minutes, Paris calmed down. I've seen people rage at these games before, but she really lost it. I don't think I'll be bringing any more fighting games down for her to play anytime soon.
D:
Marla and I took our seats on the couch as the stream began. Her victory put her in the driver's seat for the match against Karl. We'd already confirmed that Ian had been on this guy's forum, so if we can get an invitation it would be our first big break in the case.
Karl started the stream by addressing the audience. The audience would submit questions to Karl via SuperChats, which were paid messages that pop up on the screen. With each message there was a tip, and Karl mandate the tips be a $5 minimum to make it on air. It's known that he'd moved people around the queue based on how much they tip, so we'd set a high budget to make sure we got in.
"As you all know, because of a recent controversial meme, we've had to lock down the forum. For now, the forum is by invite only. The forum will remain free, but you will need to bid on a spot in the queue to get an invite.
Anyway, I got the first SuperChat in here. It's from Matt. Matt says, 'Hey GGK. I don't mean to overstep my bounds, but I'm worried about you. Your streams have been getting a dark vibe. You've gotten crabby and mean. By the way, I follow your mobile games accounts. Do you realize how much you're spending? You make a lot from streaming, but still. And do you even go out much anymore? Last week you said you hadn't been outside in a month—'."
In the middle of reading the message, Karl started coughing. It looked a bit put on, but it sounded like he was hacking up a lung.
"Well... now... that's enough of that. Mods, please ban this idiot. I don't have time for trolling. Haha man, what a loser. Who is this guy? Crying like a little baby. Ok, genius. If I need advise on my life, why I would take it from some dork on the internet? I have thousands of followers. You can't comprehend my life, so don't strain yourself too much. Anyway, $5 is $5. Thanks for the money."
Another chat came in and Karl read it without hesitating.
"'Hey Karl, I was wondering if you could jump up and down on one leg and chant 'I am a little chicken' do the Macarena while using a hula-hoop. I know you don't like to, but I sent you a tip and I'll send you another one if you do it."
Karl winced after reading that. Then he shook his head and took a hard swig from the cup he swore was filled with water. Then, to his credit, Karl got up and did the Macarena while maintaining the spin of a hula-hoop around his waist.
Karl then did a quick bow and sat back down.
"Great, so send me now send me the other five dollars... What... 'you forgot to say 'I am a little chicken' so I'm'... You've got to be kidding me... This moron says he's not paying me the other $5 because I didn't say exactly what he wanted. And he's charging back the other $5 with PayPal. What an a$$hole. Mods please ban this idiot."
Marla looked over at me and I nodded, telling her to pull the trigger. We then sent Karl what was his biggest tip in a SuperChat ever. Someone later clipped his reaction on StreamFails.com and got over 5 million views.
"You... got to be kidding me. AstraMagic89 just sent me... I can't believe it... A thousand dollars? To play me in FighterZ? Of course!"
Karl was crying. But he bravely continued the stream.
"Alright now Astra, I'm going to need you to log on with your headset so we can communicate. Trash talk is part of the game! Oh wait, what kind of name is Astra? You aren't a girl, are you? Chat would go nuts."
When they heard Marla's voice, the rate of the chat doubled. Karl calmed them down, and he started to play with Marla. They entered the player select screen and Karl, the professional that he was, tried to break the ice.
"Well, madam, I must inquire what a fine lady such as yourself is doing this day?"
"Huh. Are you talking to me?"
"Yes, I'm talking to you! Aren't you paying attention?"
"Oh... I was just picking my character."
Karl burst into another inexplicable burst of laughter and was still going after Marla had chosen the three characters on her team, their color palettes and their fighting styles. Marla had settled on Baritone, the blue alien rival of Kuja. He could do some cool stuff like extend his arms and regenerate his limbs if they were severed. I was pretty impressed Marla had moved on to such an advanced character. I'd been playing the game for years and was still using the basic MC character.
Now the loading screen was up for the stage and Karl made one more statement.
"Now my fair lady Astra, don't expect me to go easy on you just because you're a girl. I'm a modern gentleman and I don't think that way. My dad did, but trust me when I tell you, I am not my father."
"…"
The match started, and both players went into a kind of hyper focus.
The first match went to Marla. Karl kept trying to jump in at her. She'd read it each time and then punish him with a 20-hit combo. Karl tried to play it off.
"Listen, that was a warm-up round. That was beginner's luck, and I was going easy on you, anyway. By the way, are you on some crappy connection? Like, are you in the middle of nowhere or something? I think there's a lot of lag on your end because my inputs—"
I couldn't take Carl's excuse making, so I decided to butt in.
"Nope, no lag! We have the most cutting edge and stable internet connection on the planet. It's the same that's used on Wall Street for high-frequency trading. It's not on our end."
"Oh... Ok. Wait, is that your boyfriend? Who is that guy? He sounds so weird."
Karl was still laughing at my voice when the match was starting, giving Marla a free combo. Of course, Karl later complained that this was "unfair" and shouldn't be counted against him. All-in-all, Marla ended up beating him at 7 matches in a row of Dragon Riders FighterZ. Karl did not take it well. When Marla won the last match, she asked an innocent question.
"That was fun. Would you like to do one more match? Then we can get into the forum, right?"
Karl didn't respond immediately. But I could tell he was getting angry. He started tapping his foot frantically, and then slammed his fist down hard on his desk.
Karl grabbed his game system and flung it all the way across the room. It smashed, broke, and made a nasty gash on his wall. On the stream, you could hear his dogs barking and his mom come running in from the other room, freaking out in her casual southern drawl.
"Boy, done I told you not to be thrown' crap 'round here!"
"Hang on ma, I'm streaming!"
GamerGodKarl ended his stream soon after. But more importantly, one of his mods sent us an invitation to his forum. Now we just had to wait for Ian to show up.