Madison~~
"I didn't do anything, Christian. I promise."
"You're a lying whore! I can't believe you right now. You wanted him didn't you?"
"You're hurting me please- please, I swear I didn't do anything. Nothing happened. Y-you can ask Rick yourself."
"Look at me... I said fucking look at me!"
"Tell me you love me. Say it Madison!"
"I- I love you."
A gasp emerges from my lungs, jolting me up from my slumber. Clenching hard onto the blanket. I wipe the cold sweat from my forehead. I look at my surroundings- realising that I'm in my cold room and not in my horrifying nightmare.
I run my shaky hands over my tired face, feeling the wetness from my eyes as well, trying not to think about that awful dream.
I hate it.
It's been haunting me for a while now and every time I wake up I find myself thinking more and more about him. I just want to forget about it all, but how can I when it makes me cry, makes me feel the constant pain and heartache he caused?
I can't.
I can't run away from him, because he's everywhere.
After what happened last month I decided to file a restaining order against him. My lawyer- Joe helped me with it. I just wanted to make sure that I knew what I was doing, I need to protect myself as best as I can.
But that's the thing, I don't think Christian is dangerous. I think he's lost.
Lost in the idea of me still being in his life. He's stuck on the past, and maybe so am I.
But I made it out at least. I'm free.
I got out of bed and head to the bathroom, but I caught a glimpse of myself in the tall mirror alongside the door. I have on a white tank top and I'm just in my black underwear, it was just so hot last night.
I couldn't help but cringe when I see the current state that I'm in.
I picked up some weight in the last few months.
Messy greasy hair.
Dark eye bags.
Chapped lips.
Pale and dull skin.
And how could I forget... the scar beneath my belly button.
I trace my fingers across the scar that's been imprinted on my stomach for two years. It's a constant reminder of how much I hate myself for what happened. It was all my fault.
The memory of holding my lifeless baby in my arms sent a triggering sob to escape from me.
She was only six months.
Just a little baby.
I will never get the chance to watch her grow up, or to teach her how to read and write, how to ride a bicycle, watch her blow out her candles every year, and to make sure that she knows that I love her.
I love a baby that doesn't exist and it kills me every damn day. I just try to suppress my emotions as best as I can but it really gets hard. It's hard to pretend that you're not dying in the inside.
I hope she's in a better place.
I hope she forgives me.
...and the others.
After the accident I had a total of two miscarriages, all in the first trimester.
Something that traumatic really fucks a person up, because that's what it certainly did to me. It destroyed me.
And so was Christian. It was his blood too. A traumatic experience can affect a person in different ways, Christian's response to it just differs from mine.
I bite my lower lip trying to control my sobs.
Before the accident things were so different. So simple. Christian and I would get into occasional fights, but it was never about major things. We were inlove. I loved him, and I still do to some extend. We were so happy together and I honestly thought we'll last.
So accusing him of cheating on me was wrong and immature. But my gut continued to tell me that he was. I guess we'll never know now.
I wipe the tears away when I hear my phone go off. I grabbed it from the bedside table. It's Whitney, she wants to Face Time.
"Shit." I mutter, trying to make myself more presentable.
I answer. "Hey." I say faking a smile.
She smiles brightly. "Heyyy babe! Oh my God, I miss you so much." She says fake crying.
"I miss you too." I run my hands over my tired face.
Whitney frowns, looking closer into the screen. "Wait- did you just wake up Maddie?"
I yawn. "Yeah, just a few minutes ago."
"Isn't it like 2pm there or something?" She asks curiously raising a brow.
I run a hand over my tired face. "Yeah, what you're gonna do? Sue me?"
"Have you even left your house this month, babe?"
I struggle to find my slippers as I plopp down to the floor, looking under my bed to find it. "Uhh- Yeah, I visit my mom and sometimes I go to the park, it's not far from my place."
Whitney shuffles in her bed. "That's good. I was thinking of coming home earlier, you seem abit lonely."
I scoff getting up from the floor and sat on my bed rather. "I'm not lonely. I bought me a couple house plants, so I have company." I chuckle reminding myself to water them later.
She smiles. "Why don't you get a cat too while you're at it."
"Carl wouldn't like that." I laugh falling back on my bed. "I already have my first warning."
"What?" Whitney asks in shock.
"It's a long story."
"You better tell me when I get back." She closes her eyes for a brief seconds, probably sleepy. "I miss my boys so much."
"How is Will and Jace?" I ask.
We talk on for a few minutes, she says that her son and husband will be in Brooklyn for the weekend, but they're doing fine. We said our goodbyes because she is so tired and decided to sleep, and now I have to get ready for my day.
...
I walk down the sidewalk of busy people, cross the street and continue walking straight.
The weather is awfully nice at 5pm. The mild fall wind blowing through my hair is refreshing.
I immediately stop dead in my tracks when I see something that takes me way back to the good and simple days. I look up and see Monk's Chinese Restaurant.
And I couldn't help but remember our first date.
Flashback
* *7 Years Ago* *
"Was that tears I saw earlier at the theater?" Madison asked grinning at him.
He leaned back on his seat, looking at his food then at her. "The Notebook deserves an Oscar and you know it. The part where he said: 'It wasn't over, it still isn't over.' and kissed her in the rain my heart did a backflip." He took a sip of his soju as his hand went over his heart. "And I didn't cry."
Madison looked at him and scoffed. "You were literally balling your eyes out Christian." She laughed gently shoving against him. "I didn't know you're such a softie."
Christian leaned in and whispered. "There's alot you don't know about me Madison."
"Then tell me something you want me to know." She asked grazing her hand over his.
"I like you." His grip tightened around hers. "Alot."
Madison's brown eyes slightly widened surprised by his sudden confession.
"Is that Noah speaking through you?" She teased.
Christian looked at her smirking. "Maybe, but I'm certain of one thing."
"And what is that?"
"That I'm falling inlove with you." He said digging into his yangzhou fried rice. "Why are you acting so surprised? You should know by now that I have feelings for you Madison."
Madison blinked a couple of times stunned by how casual he seems after saying something so meaningful. "I, I-uh."
He smiled looking at her now rosy cheeks. "You're beautiful, you know that?"
"I- I need to use the bathroom." She said suddenly getting up from her seat. "These spicy noodles is getting to me." And right after she said that she mentally smacked herself in the face for saying such a thing. She didn't need to use the bathroom, she needed to give herself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror before she looses her mind in front of the guy that she liked for almost two years.
"Have fun."
...
Christian stopped the car in front of her house and turned off the engine. He turned to her only to find out she was already looking at him.
He continued staring into her brown eyes as the seconds passed by, savoring the few minutes they had before her curfew ended.
Even at the age of twenty she still respected her mother's wishes for her to be home at midnight.
"You're extraordinary Madison." His voice so soft that it made her smile.
"There's nothing extraordinary about me."
He scoffed. "You saw me cry tonight and you didn't make me feel embarrassed about it." He chuckled placing a piece of her short hair behind her hear. "You're pretty extraordinary to me."
Madison leaned into his touch as his hand cupped her cheek. "Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed it."
"You don't need to thank me. I should've taken you out long ago but I wanted to take things slow."
"Like baby steps?" She asked.
He nodded. "Like baby steps, but God knows I can't control myself around you."
Madison moved forward as if his dark brown eyes were pulling her towards him and in a quick second she did the bold move to press her lips against his in a feverish need.
She let out a slight moan when Christian pulled her closer to him, leaving no space between them.
Madison pulled away breathing heavy after the first kiss they shared. The soft look in his eyes made her heart warm and she knew right then and there what she wanted to say.
"I like you too, Christian."
Christian couldn't hide the smile that spread wide on his face and leaned down to kiss her again.
She pulled away giggling. "I need to go." She opened the car door grabbed her bag and stepped out. Madison turned back to look at the man she fell head over heels for. "I'll see you tomorrow on campus. Goodnight, crybaby."
"Goodnight, beautiful." He winked back.
Christian watched as she walked up to the front door of the house and saw her mother appear when the door opened. He waved at her mom and surprisingly she waved back.
Madison smiled waving goodbye one last time before entering and closing the door.
He just sat there completely over the moon at what just happened.
Madison liked him back.
The bright smile still lingering on his face as he couldn't forget the night they had shared together. He knew he hit the jackpot with her. He considered himself a very lucky man.
Christian knew that he wanted her and he'd try anything to make her his.
Maybe their puppy love could lead into something much more, who knows?
" 'It wasn't over, it still isn't over' Noah you're a life saver."
...
~Present~
"Ah, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there." I apologize immediately after bumping into a man. My eyes widened when I see that his shirt is wet with water and so is his face.
The man runs a hand on his face trying to dry it off. "What the fuck?! You should really look where you're going woman!"
I look down realizing I dropped my handbag and most of my things fell out. I drop down rapidly picking them up.
"You were the one running into me. Look I said I was sorry, but who the hell jogs at 5pm?" I ask looking at the fit band on around his wrist.
I didn't know some people jogs at this time in the park.
He takes a threatening step closer to me and forcefully grabs my arm pulling me closer. "You're a sweet one, aren't you?"
It's clear to see that some people in this city are dicks.
I grit my teeth together as I try escaping from his painful grip. "Let go of me."
He just cunningly smiles down at me.
"She said let go, asshole." I heard a strong voice suddenly say.
That voice sounds familiar.
I turn to my side and my heart drops at the sight of Nathan Lane.
He's just standing there with his hands tucked into his black coat looking at the man in front of me with a threatening look in his eyes.
Oh, God.
The last time I saw him was at his place after we shared a very intimate night I still can't remember.
Should I feel bad that I actually forgot about him after that morning? Everything has just been so crazy for me lately, and besides I didn't think we'll see each other again but here he is just a few feet away from me.
"I suggest you let go of her or you'll deeply regret it." Nathan says warningly.
The man suddenly let's go of me, picks up his water bottle from the ground and runs off.
Nathan turns and walks closer to me. "Are you alright?"
I blink a couple of times, not believing that Nathan mother fucking Lane is in front of me. I take in the neatly trimmed slight beard on his sculptured face, making him look so much more mature.
"Y-yeah I'm fine."
Instead of saying anything after me, he just stares down at me. His intimidating gaze makes me step away from him.
"What are you doing here? Are you like stalking me or something?"
He smirks. "You're not the only one that loves watching the sunset fall behind the tall trees, Madison. And no I'm not stalking you, I come here sometimes to clear my head."
He remembers my name.
But why?
I start walking away and follows closely behind.
"Why do I feel like you're always running away from me?"
I chuckle amusingly looking back at him. "Maybe because I don't want to be seen with you in public? I don't know what you want from me but you need to-"
Nathan cuts me off. "Let me make this clear, I don't want anything from you. I just happen to be here when that flash dude was harassing you, so don't feel-"
I couldn't help but let out a laugh when he said 'flash dude'. I come to my senses when I realize he stopped talking and is now looking at me with a frown on his face.
"I'm sorry, continue." I press my lips together in hopes of not bursting out another laugh. I don't know what's going on with me.
He shakes his head. "No."
"Okay, fine then."
I can be stubborn too.
I turn back around slowly walking away, but was suddenly interrupted when I hear the Spice Girls ring tone in my bag. Nathan looks at me weirdly.
I quickly try to grab it from my bag and when I do I look at the caller and see it's Sahra from the senior retirement home calling. Weird, I rarely receive calls from her.
I answer it and immediately hear Sarah's distraught voice.
"Okay, okay calm down. What happened?" I ask frantically hoping that everything is okay with my mother, I can't afford to lose her too.
Sarah explains everything to me as best as she can but still leaving out some details. My heart broke when she tells me to immediately make my way to the hospital.
"What's wrong?" Nathan stands in front of me, placing his hand gently on my shoulder.
The tear rolls down my cheek and the knot stuck in my throat makes it hard for me to speak, but all I can think about to say is.
"It's my mom." I start running away from him, trying to find a cab. "I need to go."
Nathan steps in front of me. "I can take you. Where do you need to be?"
More tears makes its way down my cheeks. "It's okay, talk to me Madison." He says surprisingly calm.
And in a quick breath I say, "The hospital."