Chapter 5
We are one.
Part one [ The dance.]
Kendra combed my hair in front of the big mirror. It felt good. The door opened. Ian had ordered that I'd be brought a silver rose again. I took it from the messenger. It smells even better today. "Tell him, it smells awful and that I'd really appreciate it if he stopped sending me this everyday." I said. Caleb bowed his head and left.
Kendra laughed. "The Alpha really loves you. I am so jealous." She said.
I sighed. "Great! I'm the luckiest woman on earth."
"You are. If you accept and believe it." She said. Luck! That was something I had on my side now. That I could say. For the first time in almost two decades, I could actually look upon the sunrise and feel the warmth on my skin. I felt like a super hero. I drew in as much air as my lungs could take, and exhaled. "That's the feeling." I exclaimed. Kendra brushed my hair slowly. I could imagine her face smiling behind me. Knowing her now, I realized that was a hell of an act she put up the first time I opened my eyes here.
"I can brush my hair myself. I have been doing it for as long as I can remember." I said, reaching my hand to hers to collect the hairbrush.
"That was before you became the Alpha's mate. Now you don't have to do anything stressful. It is my duty to take care of you." Kendra said. She looked like she was enjoying her job. At least I offered to help.
"What is today again?" I asked her.
"Oh, it's… Tyler's birthday." She answered. "You have to look your best."
"Who is Tyler?" I asked. It was the first time he had been mentioned.
Kendra scratched her hair. She sighed. "What?" I asked.
"Tyler is… the most popular, daring and pretty much hottest living Alpha whom, I happen to hate." She said. I turned at once. "Hotter than Ian?" I asked.
"Umm… my opinion on that doesn't really matter. Tyler is open and really to mingle with the girls. He is funny, romantic and, nice. The Alpha isn't really much of any of these." Kendra said. I smelled the flower again. "I think he is nice, and charming." I said with a smile. I sniffed the flower again.
"And… why exactly am I needed at this party?" I asked.
"You must go. You are the Alpha's mate." She replied.
"Correction, I am not mated to anyone here." I corrected even though I liked it when she called me Ian's mate.
"Technically, yes, you are mates. You are already developing a soft spot for him. I am very positive you will love him before the end of the one hundred and eighty days." She said looking quite confident about her words. "And, you have to show that you love the Alpha very much. No one there must know you aren't mated yet, especially not Tyler." She instructed.
"Wait, what? Why not? I don't know how to act."
"Well, you must. Everyone there look forward to seeing the Alpha's mate today. You are the real star of the party. Besides, I think you can handle a bit of acting."
I waved at the sun who had already quit being friendly to the skin. Kendra led me inside, holding on to my hand.
***
I admired myself in that beautiful red dress. The diamond on my neck glittered. I looked so important, like a queen. I couldn't stop looking at my feet. My shoes were so beautiful. "How do I look?" I asked.
Kendra smiled. "You look breathtaking. The shoes look so good on you, wow!"
"Are you ready?" Ian asked. I turned around immediately. "Hey, hi." I said.
He looked at me, scanning me from feet to the head. "You are ready." He said.
"Not exactly Sire, I… we need to do a little bit of make-up. Some light touches at least?" Kendra requested of the Alpha.
Ian raised my face, turning both sides. "No, she doesn't need it. This is ok." He said. I wasn't sure if that was a compliment, of he just didn't care how I appeared. But I shouldn't care about that, should I?
Caleb closed the door. I kept my eyes fixed on my feet, as the car moved. Ian didn't say a word to me, or anyone else. In about twenty minutes, we got there – the grand wolf park where Tyler was in charge.
"Are you OK?" I asked Ian. "You look distressed. I thought as Alpha, you 'd be used to events like this?"
Ian arranged the necklace on my neck. He curled my hair around his finger. "You look beautiful." He said looking at me in the eyes. Those strange but beautiful eyes of green and hazel made me stargaze. He kissed me on the cheek. I was lost and confused in the feeling, but a smile to the side was on my lips. Even as cold as he appeared, he knew how to make butterflies fly. I got reminded of the first time Rob kissed me. It was a quiet night at my rooftop. The stars scattered everywhere in the sky, like diamonds. My breath became heavy and slow. For a minute there, Ian's eyes locked me in a world of beautiful imagination.
I snapped out of it as the lights flashed on my face from the cameras. Oh I get it, it was an act. I cleared my throat, with a faked smile on my face. "wave at the camera." He whispered to me. I didn't.
"Ian? wow!!! Look at you? So grown up." A voice from behind said. We turned around. "Excuse me will you? Can't you see I have the most important guess in the house already here?" he said to the ladies with him. It was Tyler.
"I'll go sit over there." I said. Ian held me back. "You will not leave my side until we leave this place." He said, sounding pretty much like an order.
Tyler smiled at him. "Well, no hug from an old best friend? Cool!" he said. Ian's face expressed a suppressed anger. "Hmm, who's the guess lady?" Tyler asked, then gulped the last of his drink down his bowel. "Or, pop up surprise, Ian got himself what pretty much everyone here believed was impossible – A mate." He said out loud to the hearing of a lot of people. "Well, who is she?" he asked again, and winked. For a really good looking and charming man, he was loud.
Ian balled his fist. Looking like that, I knew he could only hold his anger for so long, so I spoke. "Forgive my manners my lord." I said. I knelt before Tyler and kissed his hand. "My name is Bellamy. I am my Alpha's mate." I made the shocking revelation. "We are… in love. As unbelievable as it may seem, my Alpha is the best lover in the universe. sometimes I get tired of his undying, soul replenishing and passionate love." I said, turning up the heat even more. Tyler looked defeated at first, but he smiled.
"Wow, so… he's a simp now." He said.
"Come, let's go. It is clear I am not welcome here." Ian said
"Where are you going? We haven't started the dance yet. You used to love dancing." Tyler trolled. He was an asshole.
"Do you know how to drive?" Ian asked. I nodded. He sat at the back seat. We drove back in silence again. He kept his face outside the car. The wind blew his dark hair. I kept my eyes more on the side mirror than on the road. With a face like that, how could I not admire?
Part two.
I opened my eyes. I had fallen asleep in the bathtub again. I thought I had stopped that ages ago. Nothing got dad angrier than knowing I had fallen asleep in the bathroom. I sat up. I wondered where Kendra went. I hadn't seen her since we returned from the birthday party.
It was lonely that evening, and quiet. I wondered what actually happened between Ian and Tyler. Just as I was in my thoughts, Kendra tapped me on the shoulders. "Hey!" I said.
"Hey, You are back… so early." She said. "How did it go? What happened?" she asked. She could sense all didn't go as it should have.
"What is it with Tyler?" I asked. "I mean, at first he called Ian his best friend, but what I saw there wasn't friendship." I asked.
"Ian and Tyler used to be best friends when they were younger. You know, Alpha Alpha. But Tyler always felt like Ian had it easier. He was more respected. Tyler became jealous. Few years later, Ian parents passed in a fatal car accident. Tyler moved to the outside world. Ian grew to become the cold person he is now. Things loneliness can cause. I don't think he's been able to move on from his parents death. He cut everyone from his heart." Kendra told. "The Alpha might look like he can handle everything, but he can't. He still has panic attack sometimes, and a phobia for fire. He is a prisoner in his own world. Everyone here believes no one can understand the Alpha. That, no one can manage him, or be with him. He doesn't have a mate, and it didn't seem like he ever would." She said looking at me like I was hope.
For the first time, I believed I was. I smiled. "We were supposed to dance. I really looked forward to it." I said picking my nails.
Kendra grasped my hands. "You. You should go to him in room. I know he needs someone."
"What? No, of course not." I replied.
Kendra pulled my hands again. "Please, do it for our sake. Everyone needs love. At this time, the Alpha needs such."
"I am not his lover or his mate." I pointed out. It wasn't so hard saying no, even though deep down I really wanted to.
Kendra let go of my hands. "I'll go help in the kitchen." She said and left.
I didn't want her to leave. Why would she give up on convincing me fast? I was going to give in eventually. I waved as she walked out, hoping she might just come back and ask me one more time. That didn't happen.
I sat on my big bed. It wasn't comfortable anymore. I wasn't comfortable. All I could think about was how Ian was feeling, or what he was doing, before I knew it, I was already at the front of his room, ready to knock on the door. I knew I shouldn't do that, but I did anyway. How bad can it be?
"Hey, are you…?"
He opened the door. I was caught in those eyes again. Those dazzling eyes. "What do you want?" he asked. His voice was discouraging. I wanted to say "nothing" and just walk away, but I was here already, and like I said, how bad can his attitude be?
"Are you busy?" I asked. I didn't wait for him to give an answer. I forced my way in. He had a cup of coffee and some cheap beer on his table. As brave as I posed, I wasn't. I was actually scared of the countless possibilities of things that could happen.
"I didn't say you could come in." he said in a cold voice aimed to drive fear into me. It did, but I didn't let him see it.
"You don't have to. Not with me." I said. He raised his head. I could see it through him, there a smile that lingered on his face.
"You drink beer? Where do you get beer like this anyway, I thought you were royalty?" I asked, picking up a bottle. Harley and I used to get wasted secretly when I was 16. She was a bad influence on me.
"I have a dealer." Ian said. He took the bottle from me. "What do you want?" He asked.
"To make you feel better." I said boldly. "Kendra told me about your parents. I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"That was a long time ago. I don't need your comfort." He said. That was rude. I felt so unwanted, and it did hurt, so I decided to leave, but Ian kept staring at me with those eyes. Maybe just like me, he didn't want me to leave.
"What's your problem?" I queried him. "You think pushing people away, and coming to your room, soaking in everything with bottles of beer, and coffee, and… boredom, is what makes you a man? You are trapped in yourself and in case you've never noticed, you are not as strong as you think you are. Pretty much everyone know this, and that is why you lost it with Tyler at the party."
Ian yelled angrily. "I am not just a man, I am the Alpha here, and you should never speak to me like that ever again."
I nodded. "so, that's how you handle your Alpha shit. No this doesn't make you the Alpha. It makes you a coward. You can't face your own feelings." I said. "Look around you Ian, You have successfully pushed everyone away. Even your butler doesn't like you." I said. My heart throbbed so hard, that I fell on my needs. Why was this? I wasn't feeling scared or anxious. Ian helped me up. I understand now, it wasn't me. It was him. My body wasn't as strong as his to handle his emotions.
"This is you?" I managed to ask.
"My bead is inside you. You'll feel everything I feel. We are that connected." He said. He handed a bottle of beer to me
***
Part 3 [His Strong Desires. ]
I smiled. I smiled at everything he did. His fingers crawled up my belly, spreading out to my waist. I let out soft provocative moans. His long fat long licked my legs up to my thighs. His touch was heavenly, and my sensitive skin crawled. Beneath my panties, was a wet spot already. It was sensational. He looked at me with those dazzling beautiful strange eyes. For the first time in my life, I felt true passion for my body, love and soul. He kissed me up to my shoulders and whispered the sweetest words to my hears "you are perfect" and kissed my neck. "You are mine. Tell it to me." He said.
I bit my lip as he pushed my legs apart. "I am yours." I said with a sexy dirty voice like I had never before.
At this, I became conscious. I opened my eyes. "Shit! Fucking dirty dream!" I exclaimed, sounding quite irritated by the dream I just had. There was a weight on my lap. Seeing what it was, I jumped up. "What did you think you were doing? Jesus Christ!" I yelled, covering my body with anything I could find.
"Good morning." He greeted. "What are you doing standing on the bed?" he asked.
"Fuck whatever you are saying right now. Why don't you tell me what you are doing here?"
"I fell asleep." He said.
"Yeah, and you had to fall asleep with your head resting on my lap?"
Ian stood up. "And my head aches now. I am not used to resting on hard things." He said. That shut me up. I touched my lap. How dare he say that about my body?! "I hope you slept well?" he said and made his way out of my room.
I sat down breathing a bit more than normal. I did sleep well, with a beautiful dream I wished I could go back to. A 100 days!
***
"I think he carried me to my room, and then, I woke up to find him sleeping on my body." I told Kendra. "Where is he right now?" I asked.
"Oh, the Alpha is with the Tribunal right now. Alphas duty." She replied. She smiled wildly while listening to me narrating the morning situation to her. "Why are you smiling like that? It's not something to smile about." I said.
She laughed. "I told you, you will fall in love with the Alpha. It is fate."
"I don't believe in Fate, besides, it is only a stupid dream." I said.
She brushed my eyebrows, suiting the ponytail she made of my hair. I looked beautiful and cute. ",whose dream? Is it your dream, or something you want to happen? You know, a fantasy." She asked.
"No, gross. Of course not." I denied.
"OK, do you think the Alpha might be fantasizing about this dream?" She asked.
Weird, but I answered. "How would I know? Maybe." I said.
She gasped. "or, it is the bead inside you. It wants you and the Alpha to be real lovers." Kendra said excitedly. "The bead is the Alpha's, and now it's living inside of you. It is now very much made up of your essence and the Alpha's. That explains it." She said.
"I do not understand." I said.
She sighed. "It means the dream could be yours or the Alpha's. It could be your fantasy or the Alpha's. It could be a prophecy, what you want, or what the Alpha wants, or what the bead itself wants. And if it's what the bead wants, well, this means the chances of your dream coming to pass, is over a 90 percent."
I stared into my eyes in the mirror. "Fuck!" I exclaimed inside. Yes, it was indeed fucked up. I have a family outside this pack, a world I left behind. The chances of me and Rob getting back together were still there, but if Kendra is right as I already believe she is, then what exactly should I do? This thing inside me was already corrupting my thoughts and waving my emotions.
"Kendra, what is the busiest and most exciting place in this… pack?" I asked.
"For me it's the market. I always loved it there." She said smiling to a memory.
"let's go there, let's go have fun." I said, hoping to run away from these thoughts.
"but we can't go to the market. You are the Alpha's mate. It has never happened before. We've got all the top shopping malls within our reach." She objected.
I tapped her on the shoulders. "get your boots. We are going to have fun."
Even with all the fun, and play, I just couldn't stop thinking about Ian, and what Kendra said. It was too much to take in at once knowing that I might very much be getting attached to a person who is literally my captor.
Kendra had a lot of fun. She was grateful for a day like this. I was tired. Dinner was served but I wasn't hungry. Me and Kendra had already eaten junk food back in the Market.
"Good night." I said to her, closing the door. I looked at my lap while I sat down. I imagined his head resting on them again. Perhaps it was my fantasy after all.
That night, sleep did not come close. Not until he returned. I sat by the window watching the beautiful big moon and twinkling little stars. From a life threatening disease patient to a perfectly healthy person. My life was a miracle.
Ian opened my door. He looked at me for a couple of seconds before coming close.
"What do you want this time?" I asked.
"I came to check up on what's mine." He answered.
I sighed. His cold attitude was full of confidence. "I am fine, you can go now." I said rudely.
Ian grabbed me from behind, folding both my hands behind my back. His hot hard breath hit my face. "You will not speak to me like that. You will respect me." He ordered.
I tried to fight him off, but just like in the books, he was too strong for me. "Let me go, you are hurting me." I begged. He held me even tighter. "You are mine, Bella. You have always been mine and you will always be." He said. I moaned as I tried to free myself from his grip.
"What do you want from me?" I asked in a shaking voice.
His breath eased up, but he clenched tighter to my body. "All these years, I have watched you, all these years I have waited for you to return. You are mine Bella." He said. Ian let go of my arms.
I panted, my heart beat was hard enough to be felt as my chest rose and fell. I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of myself, of what I might do at this very moment. "You saw it too, didn't you? That dream. Was it mine or yours?" I asked.
Ian shook his head. "I don't know." He answered. "I did not plan for it to happen like this. Us." He said.
I stood up. His eyes caught me in a scope. Those dazzling flaring eyes. I stared in them as I took the steps to go closer. On my mind were a lot of questions. Who is Mariana? What does he mean he's been waiting and watching me all these years? Who am I? But even now, my emotions were stronger than I could control. Was this what being mates does? The strong mutual desire we had for each other was powerful. I placed my hand on his chest. His heart beat was the rhythm I needed. Every sensation I felt in that dream, I felt again. We both did. But in all this, I never looked away from his eyes. As we got closer, I could feel his bead grow inside of me. Maybe Kendra was right after all, this was fate. My eyes shifted to his lips. I longed for the kiss of those beautiful moist lips again. Was I finally going to give in to this emotions and lust, and lock lips with the strangely cold Alpha?
I stood on my toes with my eyes closed reaching up to his mouth.
To be continued...