Growing up, Adira always had a feeling that something about her family was different. They lacked emotions, they never exchanged hugs and kisses, like others. For her and her brother Neil, it was like they were additions to their guardians' lives. They were adopted so that their life would seem more enviable to their friends and their social circle. They were trotted out in public view like a circus animal is made to perform, and then sent away, once they had correctly impressed others.
When Neil and Adira had been small, they would not understand, and nothing would matter to them. And when they realized it, it was too late. They then behaved like circus animals only to gain approval from their guardians.
Adira realized that her worst mistake was getting married to Lucifer Borges, to gain her guardian's approval, and again at their insistence. Her body still grew cold when thinking about Lucifer. Coming home had brought back all of her memories, all her feelings. She knew she was strong enough to face them. But she did not want to live like that every day.
She should not have come here at all, she thought. She should have gone to Ralph's place, in the San Juan Islands, instead.
Neil opened one of the bedroom doors. She looked at him in confusion and told him, "This is not my room."
He flushed on hearing that and said, "Adira, you don't have a room anymore."
She asked him whether all her stuff had been given away. He nodded, and said, "Yes."
They then walked into a room, decorated in her Aunt's signature style. Adira told her brother, "I am not opposed to her style, her taste, nor her color scheme. Though her designs may appear warm, everything about her is fake. Cold. A lie."
"But at least she did not put you in a guest house," he replied. He then put Raven's carrier on the floor and asked her, "Anything that I can help you do?"
She asked him, "You are going somewhere." She knew that, in her absence, Neil must have been the sole target of their guardians.
He replied, "Yes. But, I will be back tonight."
She asked him, to please be back for dinner. She asked him, "Have things got that bad here?"
Neil replied, "Only two more years, Adira, and then I don't have to play their games."
"Two years is a long time," she replied.
He flashed her a cocky smile, and replied, "Not when most of it is spent on campus."
"What are your plans after that?" she asked him. She was feeling guilty, as all this time she had not thought about her little brother. She wanted to make up for that. She told him, "You need not come back here after that."
Neil replied, "Adira, we are not like them. I have given my word to Uncle that I will return and join his firm."
She replied, "But you can break it. It is not that you have signed some contract, saying you will join his 'Jordan and Sons Financial Services.'
Neil shook his head sadly and replied, "That is the only decent and true thing about me. If I don't, I would be blamed for wanting to live off the money that I have not earned."
Adira told him, "They are not decent or kind, and you are not like them, Neil."
"Which makes it all the more imperative that I should keep my word," he said.
She, at that point, wanted to argue with him, wanted him to see that they did not have to keep their words where such soul-sucking monsters were involved. But she said, "Fine. However, I expect you to turn up before I go to bed."
He nodded, smiled, and then left her alone, in a room as cold as the Arctic while she waited for her guardians' arrival. Guardians who gave a damn about her, or their grandchild.
At almost dinner time, Adira was summoned to her Aunt's room. After making sure that Raven was sleeping, she grabbed the baby monitor and went downstairs. With each step that she took, she straightened her shoulders and tipped her chin up in defiance. She was determined not to let her fear show.
Though she knew that her Aunt was very smart, and could smell fear from afar. As that had become her dietary habit. Adira knocked at the door and waited for her reply. As that had been her Aunt's rule.
"Come in," her Aunt replied.
Adira's heart still pinched at her Aunt's voice, as a child inside her had always yearned to be loved. As she stepped in she marveled at how nothing had changed; though everything still looked brand new. She knew that her Aunt would always buy high-end stuff which would last for generations.
Adira then spotted her Aunt standing next to her chair. She looked perfectly poised, well-dressed, and well-groomed as usual. She gazed at Adira with absolute disdain. Adira wished how nice it would have been if the ugliness that she depicted on her face would have matched her looks. But in reality, her Aunt looked pretty as a porcelain doll. Adira still remembered that when she was small she had wanted to be just like her Aunt.
Her Aunt uttered, "You look well enough."
Adira replied, "Thank you for allowing me to stay."
"That was your Uncle's idea, not mine," her Aunt snapped back.
Adira was taken aback by that. She looked all around searching for her Uncle.
Her Aunt bluntly replied, "He is not coming."
Adira was disappointed. She just said, "Oh! Okay." She then tried smiling in front of her and said, "The house looks great."
But her Aunt rudely replied, "I have not called you here to engage in small talk."
Adira immediately retorted, "Then why have you called me? What did you want to talk about?"
She replied, "About your current situation."
Adira asked her, "About being homeless, or being a single mother, or both?"
Her Aunt's face then screwed up with hate, fury, and contempt, and she said, "I won't have you here Adira. You will be gone by morning. My kindness can only extend that far," she said.
Adira felt she should have known that her coming here would end up like that. But she would not go quietly, she decided. "You are going to kick your only grandchild, without even holding her first?" she asked.
Her Aunt replied, "Raven could stay as long as you are willing to let us raise her. Also, if you are agreeable, then you can stay here as long as it takes for the formalities to be completed."
Adira asked her, "You mean to take my baby away from me?" Everything inside her screamed and raged in fear. She wanted to bolt out of the room and run away, but only after grabbing away her child. But she wanted to know how much her Aunt could fall, and how far she was willing to go, to get what she wanted.
Her Aunt replied that she would go through proper legal channels for adoption.
Adira replied, "I will not let you take her away from me."
Her Aunt drew a deep breath and then said, "Be reasonable, Adira. You are not capable, neither financially nor emotionally, of raising a child. For God's sake, you were living in a women's shelter."
Adira thought that financially she had a point, but emotionally? Screw her, she thought. Her Aunt knew that Adira lived in a shelter, yet why in the hell did she not try to help her out? She just snapped back at her Aunt, "What do you know about emotions? I refuse to let you raise my daughter." She then said, "Don't worry, we will be out of this place by morning. I don't have to stay here, I have other options." At that point, she remembered Ralph and knew that he would have been proud of her, then.
Her Aunt said, "If you think that Lucifer is going to take you back, and will welcome you with open arms, especially after what you have done..."
Adira did not wait for her to complete her sentence. She said, "What did I do to him? He beat me so hard, that my lip split open, and had to be sewn up. I used to lie to everyone, that I had fallen and hurt myself. After that also, he never stopped beating me. He just made sure that he did not beat me very hard." Adira then hoped her Aunt would believe her. But she saw that her Aunt's eyes grew colder.
Her Aunt then said, "Your imagination has always been vivid."
Adira replied, "Don't worry! I am not going back to him."
Her Aunt replied, "As if he would ever want you." In frustration, she then said, "Stop lying Adira. We know what happened."
Adira replied, "Then you must also know that he is an adulterer who liked to hit women when they called him out on his bullshit."
"Language Adira," she said. She then put on a serene face and said "The fact is, you were a spoiled little girl, who refused to grow up. You are lying because you can not have an adult relationship with Lucifer. You tried running away from your responsibilities."
Adira protested, "I did not?"
Her Aunt asked Adira, "Did you not run away from Lucifer's place?"
Adira replied, "Yes, but I had to." Then in a fit of anger, she told her Aunt, "Are you gloating? I think you enjoy seeing us suffering or in pain."
She replied, "Don't be ridiculous, Adira."
Adira replied, "I'll be whatever I want. I would be happy to disappear from your life altogether."
Her Aunt replied, "Very dramatic. Go to your room and calm down. When you are more reasonable and willing to act like a twenty-three-year-old woman, and now a mother, we shall think about what is next to be done, to move forward with the adoption process."
Adira asked her, "Am I allowed to eat before I am banished?"
She replied, "Naturally. I will send something up to your room."
Adira smirked and said, "You are too kind. Be sure to tell Uncle, I said hello."
"You can do that tomorrow morning while having breakfast," she replied.
"There is no way in hell I am staying that long," Adira replied.