I bit my lip in hesitation looking down from the cliff . I slowly walk to the edge of the cliff, the height was frightening I took a step back rethinking my decision.
yeah... you're fucking afraid rose ! you can't stop hurting others in your life but you're afraid of getting hurt. My sub conscious keeps telling me .
I'm not afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid because I don't know what's going to happen after I do it . I don't know what's on the other side .
Darkness ?
Pain ?
Hell fire ?
I don't know and it scares me .
And most importantly what scares me the most is this question ,what if I survive ?
I can't take anymore of this shit anymore and if I'm given another day to live , it means that I have to go through all of it again. I don't want to open my eyes in a hospital bed and realize that I made it . I don't want to know that even if I tried to die, I lived to go through the things that I'm so sick and tired of . all of the things ! ALL !
