While Norman Osborn was busy figuring out that he just spent a cool billion dollars on a useless jade ring, on the other side of town, Tony Stark had also arrived home with his newest pet.
He never was one for pets. Having never really found the joy in keeping such a thing. Too much work for too little reward. If he needed company, he would rather just go out and find himself a pretty girl for the night then have a pet.
Still, having spent so much on this one, and a snail of all things, he was interested in finding out if it was even remotely worth it.
"Jarvis, remember to keep an eye on the other winners, some of those items we need to go pick up as soon as we know where they are stored." He reminded his AI.
"Of course, sir," Jarvis replied, his voice smooth and calm. "I've set protocols to monitor all outgoing shipments from the auction. As soon as any item changes hands or relocates, you'll be the first to know."
Tony smirked, settling into his lab chair and placing the ornate tank that housed Lord Blackwood, the sentient sea slug, on the table before him. This wasn't the type of acquisition he would normally make—he was more interested in tech and tools than in eccentric oddities. But the allure of having something so rare, so strange, and reputedly intelligent had gotten the better of him.
"Alright, let's see if you're worth your salt," Tony muttered, leaning forward and peering into the tank. "Or rather, your slime."
The slug, Lord Blackwood, glided smoothly along the glass, his small, perceptive eyes swiveling toward Tony as though he were actually studying his new owner. The effect was almost unsettling; Tony was used to working with cutting-edge tech, not creatures with minds of their own.
"Jarvis, remind me what this little guy is supposed to be capable of?"
"Well, sir, according to the auctioneer, Lord Blackwood possesses memories or, perhaps, fabricated constructs of adventures and expeditions through forgotten realms. He is said to recount tales of ancient history, possibly even pre-human civilizations, with the detail of an experienced storyteller. In essence, a talking sentient snail that thinks it is a human."
Tony raised an eyebrow, amused by Jarvis's description. "A talking, sentient snail with delusions of grandeur—just what I needed in my lab." He joked; he was well aware of what he had bought; he had paid an immense amount of money for him after all.
However, given that this was a sentient animal, the second one ever recorded after the giant lizard that had turned a good part of Tokyo into ruins.
The fact that a tiny snail apparently had the ability to think and speak for that matter was something that should have been impossible. Yet, apparently, it wasn't.
A giant lizard that apparently had the ability to evolve endlessly, having the ability to speak… it was acceptable. It was large enough to hold a brain that could process human-like thinking. And since it could evolve, being able to speak could also be explained.
He would still love to take a look at the creature and study its DNA; the amount of secrets hidden in that creature was no doubt immense on its own.
He had been tempted to push to get the sample himself, but he was well aware that he didn't have the same equipment as Norman; after all, Stark Industries wasn't deep in the bio department.
What Tony had that Norman didn't, was a powerful AI that could easily take all the data right out of Norman's lab. Getting the results without having to put in the work.
Instead, he would focus on the snail, hopefully he would be able to get something out of it. "Jarvis, order some brainwave scanners; I want to know how something small like this can think." He said, pointing towards the snail sitting in the sound isolated container.
"Already on it, sir," Jarvis responded smoothly. "Shall I also prepare neural activity tests and cognitive pattern analyses? We may be able to chart the electrical impulses in the creature's nervous system."
"Perfect. Let's make sure we're not missing anything," Tony replied, studying Lord Blackwood with renewed interest. He leaned closer to the tank, his gaze meeting the slug's tiny eyes, which seemed to watch him back with calm intelligence.
Lord Blackwood inclined his head—an almost regal gesture for a creature of his size. Then, he seemed to start talking. It was funny, watching the snail move its mouth like that, though due to the container, he couldn't hear a word of what was being said.
curious, Tony pressed a release on the tank's lid. A soft hiss escaped as he lifted the cover, allowing Lord Blackwood, the sentient sea slug, to get his first true look—and, hopefully, sound—at his new surroundings.
The little creature turned his eyes slowly toward Tony, taking him in with a distinctly curious gaze. After a long, silent moment, he cleared his tiny throat. "And who might you be, my dear fellow?" His voice had a rich, cultured accent—British, with an air of old-world sophistication.
Tony leaned in, amused. "I'm Tony Stark. Maybe you've heard of me?"
Lord Blackwood's eyes sparkled with sudden recognition, but he kept his composure. "Ah, Tony Stark… the name does ring a bell. But maybe your father rather than yourself? You seem like a man of class, so I might have known your old man."
Tony raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Howard Stark was my father. He was indeed rather well known, though I like to think that I am by far the more famous of us."
Lord Blackwood inclined his head thoughtfully, as if recalling a distant memory. "Howard! A good name, indeed! Howard Stark, the name does indeed ring a bell, but nothing more than that, perhaps we didn't run in the same circles."
Tony chuckled, leaning back. "Well, it's not every day you meet a sea slug with a background in social circles. What exactly do you remember, Lord Blackwood?"
Lord Blackwood seemed almost offended at Tony's words. "Sea Slug? My word! Never have I been so disrespected, I am Lord Blackwood! Famous explore and adventure! A true gentleman, and I won't allow a young man like you to insult me like that!"
Tony couldn't help but grin, amused by the tiny creature's outrage. "Apologies, Lord Blackwood," he replied, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Didn't mean to offend. I'm just... getting used to this whole 'gentleman explorer in a snail's body' thing. Doesn't exactly fit the usual mold."
Lord Blackwood huffed, his tiny, regal posture somehow managing to convey indignation. "Ah, but I assure you, Mr. Stark, there is nothing 'usual' about me. My adventures have spanned deserts, scaled mountains, and traversed treacherous seas." He leaned closer to Tony, his tiny eyes sharp. "Why, I daresay my courage has led me to places even you would hesitate to explore."
Tony raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained. "Oh really? Because I'd love to hear about some of those so-called 'death-defying' adventures."
Lord Blackwood tilted his head, appearing to relish the challenge. "Very well," he began, his voice adopting a storytelling tone. "Let me tell you about my venture into the icy caverns of Solfánir, where the frost never melts and shadows dance along the walls…"
As Lord Blackwood spoke, his voice grew rich with detail, describing an impossible world Tony couldn't quite believe yet couldn't help but visualize. The cavern, he said, was rumored to hold an ancient artifact capable of reshaping reality itself. Only a true adventurer would dare tread there, given the bitter cold, shifting paths, and deadly creatures lurking in the shadows.
Tony found himself surprisingly captivated. "And you just... strolled right in, huh?" he asked, leaning forward with a playful glint in his eye.
"With the grace and resolve of a true nobleman," Blackwood replied proudly. "It was a journey fraught with danger, yes, but what is life without a bit of thrill?"
Tony chuckled, feeling a twinge of respect for the little slug. "You know, Blackwood, I think we might get along after all. But one thing's for sure—I've never met anyone quite like you."
Lord Blackwood inclined his head in acknowledgment, clearly pleased. "A rare honor, Mr. Stark. Perhaps, in time, you might even be worthy of accompanying me on one of my 'journeys.'"
Tony smirked. "Oh, I'll be ready. Just let me know when the next adventure awaits."
Tony walked out the lab, leaving the talking snail in his box. "Jarvis, anything on his so called adventures?"
"Nothing verifiable so far, sir," Jarvis replied, sounding amused. "His stories appear... colorful, but there's no historical record of a 'Lord Blackwood' or of any expeditions matching his tales. The caverns of Solfánir, for instance, don't appear to exist on any map, nor does the artifact he mentioned."
Tony paused in the hallway, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "So, he's either a storyteller extraordinaire or a master of fantasy. Either way, he's definitely got my attention. Keep listening to his stories—let's see if there's any pattern or actual history hiding in all that bluster."
"Very well, sir. I'll compile his narratives and cross-reference them with all accessible historical and mythical records. I'll also analyze his cognitive responses to see if he believes these tales to be true."
Tony grinned. "Perfect. Maybe our Lord Blackwood has a few secrets worth uncovering, even if they're buried under a thousand layers of, well, slime."
He continued down the hallway, chuckling to himself. This strange, sentient creature had become far more intriguing than he'd anticipated.