In a blink of an eye, one persistent thought is fated to disappear… ~ One Persistent Thought, Hu Ge ft. Alan Dawa Dolma
xxxxxx
If Risa had realized sooner that her decision to head to the bookstore would give her more things to think about than she could ever have that morning, she shouldn't have headed there in the first place.
Then again, when did people ever realize what was about to happen to them as they head out for the day? That was silly. In this case, Risa was dealing more with her frustration and hopelessness than anything else.
At this point, one might be wondering why Risa was feeling hopeless. Well... it was a long story. But at the moment, she'd better prepare to head out to clear her mind. She couldn't help feeling cooped up in her room after resigning from her job as a copywriter for 3 years. She needed the fresh air.
"Risa, better get down from there, dear. You need to eat before you go out."
That was Risa's mom.
At the moment, she was the only one aside from Risa who was living in this house that she had lived in since she was 18. Yes, she was still living with her parents. Her dad was currently away from work and said that he wouldn't be home for two months because of it.
Risa didn't mind since he would still call her and her mom now and then when he wasn't busy. But more often than not, she couldn't help but to wish that he'd stay longer and that he'd only leave them for a week. Not months.
"Coming, Mom."
Risa was done taking a bath and blow-drying her hair. As she got ready to go out and head somewhere to clear her mind, her head turned to the first picture frame. It was placed near the edge of the shelf and slightly facing her bed. She could only look at the photo in that frame with such wistful eyes that she guessed she had not removed it since that person left.
It contained a photo of two children -- a boy and a girl. The girl was the young Risa and the boy was her childhood friend. But she hadn't seen him since he left their hometown 14 years ago. She knew it had been too long. And yet why did she keep on wishing that he'd come back there?
That he'd come back for her? Was she wishing for too much?
Risa sighed and proceeded to go to the kitchen where she knew her mom would be. She gave the woman a hug and a kiss on her cheek as she greeted her good morning. She went straight to the table and ate the food she prepared for her that morning.
"Are you doing some job hunting today?" her mother asked.
Risa shook her head. "I'm just going out to clear my mind. I can't stay cooped up here forever. Maybe by doing so, I'd be able to figure out what to do next."
"You know that your father and I are not forcing you to work since we can still provide for you. But as long as you are happy with what you're doing, then we'll support you regardless of your choice."
Risa couldn't help smiling at her mom's words. "Thanks, mom." She couldn't ask for better parents, to be honest. "But you know I can't let you do that. I'm an adult now. At least, I have to find a way to provide for myself. It's just that... I haven't found what I truly wanted to do that would provide my needs and enjoy doing it at the same time."
This could be one of those "asking for something impossible" moments that Risa had. Similar to the one she was asking for earlier while looking at the framed picture of her and her childhood friend. "Am I asking for too much?"
Risa's mother looked at her for a few moments, as if searching for something in her eyes. Not long after, the woman sighed and touched Risa's face.
"Risa… don't beat yourself up when you haven't found what you're looking for at the moment. More often than not, the things that we want to happen or to have for ourselves don't come at the time that we want them to appear in our lives. I know that because I've been there. Your father's been there, as well."
Of course, Risa knew that. But even so, it doesn't seem enough to calm her down or make her feel better at the very least. Could there be something wrong with her?
"I guess I just have to be patient, then," Risa said and smiled at her mom.
She nodded and caressed Risa's hair, just as she'd often do to make her feel better. And until now, her mother would succeed in doing so.
Risa continued eating and before she knew it, she was able to finish it all. Perhaps she was hungry the whole time and didn't even know it. After that, she left the house right after kissing her mom's cheek and saying goodbye. She would never forget doing that even when she was a student.
"Don't wander off for too long, okay?"
"I won't!" As if she'd stay outside for long. Risa didn't even like staying outside for more than 4 hours, anyway.
Maybe her mom was just worried. Yup, she'd just think of it that way.
xxxxxx
Even in this early morning, there were already more people roaming around the town as soon as Risa reached it. Believe it or not, she just walked from home to go here. And in her opinion, it did well for her mind. Watching her surroundings as she walked made her think of so many things, mainly about her life and how she should do her best to fix it somehow.
As Risa looked around, she saw the bookstore that she'd usually frequent even as a student with a smile. However, it wasn't open when she reached it. But it didn't matter to her. She was used to waiting for it to open, especially when she knew there were new arrivals of good books there.
This town wasn't exactly as big as that of a progressive city. So there were a lot of areas there that still had traces of how it was in the ancient past. Risa didn't mind seeing the old structures, even faded ones because of time.
For her, these places held stories -- and even their magic that perhaps only selected people could see.
Risa could only smile at the thought that ran into her mind. Why did she end up saying the word "magic", anyway? She might be 26 years old already. But it doesn't mean she doesn't believe in words and things that would still give her joy and release from the harsh reality.
Well, it wasn't as if she had a hard life or something for her to say that.
Risa's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a series of shouts in one part of the plaza. Of course, it made her frown as she turned to see where the commotion was coming from. But before she could even see anything from there, she felt as if a strong force knocked her on her left shoulder, and the force was enough to push her to the ground.
'You've got to be kidding me!'
Does she have to go through that early in the morning? What was that all about, anyway?
"Miss! Are you alright?" a man's voice disrupted Risa's raging flow of thoughts towards the person who pushed her to the ground and scarred her elbow.
"I-I don't know." At least, Risa was honest about that.
"You're going to be alright. At least he didn't succeed in hurting you more than this. It would be a disaster if he did. I don't think the people around you are going to like it. And perhaps, I'd never be able to forgive myself if he hurt you too much."
Risa looked up as soon as she heard those words, regardless of the pain she felt as she was still on the ground. If she was going, to be honest, she never thought she'd ever see a man so handsome like he stepped out of romance books or something. Having such sleek-looking brown hair and hazel -- almost grayish -- eyes, who wouldn't be mesmerized at the sight of that.
This was crazy! How could such a man exist in this world, anyway?
And yet here he was, right in front of Risa. His fair skin, sharp nose, and sharp jawline, as well… She wouldn't be surprised if she learned that he was a model or something similar. But soon after, the words he said finally registered in her mind
Honestly speaking, this man -- no matter how handsome he was by Risa's standards -- was all riddles to her. There was truth in his words. No doubt about that. And yet why couldn't she stop herself from feeling that there was something else in the words he just said to her?
"He didn't hurt me. I'm just glad about that."
He nodded and smiled as he helped Risa stand up. As soon as she did that, however, she winced as a shot of pain surged through her right ankle. When she looked down at her right ankle and tried to move her right foot, she shut her eyes tight because of another shot of pain.
"Okay, I'll take that back. He did hurt me," Risa said as she tried to walk to a nearby bench.
All the way, the stranger helped Risa as she walked (or rather limped) slowly to go there. As soon as she sat, she looked up and faced him.
"Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
Once again, he smiled. But Risa could see that he did it with reservations, for some reason. She couldn't help wondering why, though. "Don't worry about it. I'm glad I could help you like this again."
Again? What was he talking about?
Before Risa could have the courage to ask him, he bent down and checked her injured ankle with his smooth hands. Not long after, he looked up and faced her. "Don't walk too much at the moment. It would put too much pressure on your injury. If you can find something which you can use for a cold compress, then do so."
The man stood up and looked up to the sky. She shouldn't be noticing things about him, but she couldn't help it. Especially when she could see the melancholic look on his face. What was that for?
"Forgive me, but I must leave you here right now. I have other business to attend to. I wish I could assist you more."
Risa shook her head almost frantically. "Don't worry about it. Thank you for your help. I could ask the bookstore owner to help me with this, anyway."
He nodded and even sighed in… relief? Weird… why would he sigh like that? It wasn't even his fault that she fell on the ground and had her ankle get injured like that.
With that, he bid farewell and made long strides away from her and that bench.
Risa could only look at the retreating figure of the man who helped her. Honestly, she didn't even notice that she frowned deeply at the mysterious man until she had a look at her reflection in the bookstore's window. His words kept on echoing in her mind, for some reason.
Seriously speaking, what was that all about?