Iris Sinclair's pov
Next morning, the two red line on the pregnancy test stick confirmed my biggest nightmare.
I stared at the crimson line, willing for it to go away, but no miracle happened. Is there even when I closed my eyes, pressed into my vision. Is so red, red like blood.
Another wave of nausea washes through me, I bite the inside of my cheek till the metallic scent spreads across my mouth.
What the hell should I do? Should I abort my baby? Or should I keep it?
I don't want to abort my baby. Is a part of me, is my bone and flesh. I don't want to kill it.
I don't want to keep it. I'm still going to school and university, besides who will pay the money for the baby and take care of us? How should I explain this to my family? They will probably disown me if they find out.
Should I tell Lacus if I want to keep it? Maybe he would be willing to give me some money. Would he be happy or mad? Will he even allow me to keep it?
I'll make the decision later. Everything is happening so fast, I need a break, I need time to think this through, to mull over the pros and cons.
Today I'm going out on a date with David Singh, ahem, not a date. I didn't even want to go, but I lost the bet so here I am.
My hair is in double braids today, I sat at a bench inside the mall. I huffs on my hand trying to warm it up. I checked my phone and reads the time. 4:03. He should've been here three minute ago.
I fiddled with my braid till it fells into loose locks. What if he decided not to show up? What if he didn't plan to come at all and this is all one of his way to embarrass me. Make me fell in love with him and throw me away like trash.
Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought and I wipe it away with the back of my hand quickly, hoping no one notices. Why am I so sensitive these days? Is like I'm made of water. Is probably the pregnancy.
David's footstep shattered all my anxiety. He smiled brightly as he walked towards me. He's actually not bad looking when he smiled.
He actually doesn't look ugly at all, no longer the short dark clown face boy with snots running down his nose like I remembered but a tall handsome guy, his brown curls lustrous even under the terrible mall lighting. Is true that people say Indians have the greatest transformation. His skin is bronze against his white sweater, I bet under that fluffy sweater is a lot of muscles from playing basketball, I imagined myself embracing him, my body pressed against his toned abs.
His chiselled eyebrows screwed in concern when he noticed my red eyes. "Are you ok Sinclair?"
I nodded even though I'm anything but ok. "Yea I'm fine, it's just the wind. Canada's weather is crazy."
He looked unconvinced but he let that one slide. I'm secretly grateful for it, I don't know if I'm able to keep it in if he asked me. "Well I didn't know you hated seeing me that much."
I laughed a little at his small joke despite the current situation.
"Come Sinclair, let's go shopping, let's buy you something, that will cheer you up."
His finger entangled with mine, like how a lover would. I focused on his warmth and my anxiety calmed a little, just a little.
The first shop we entered is H&M, a clothing store. When I entered I immediately saw a beautiful dress. The sleeve is puffy half transparent. Indigo iris flower is patterned on the cerulean fabric. I know this dress would suit me well.
I ran to the dress like a child and hugged it tightly.
"Come on let's go Sinclair." He tugged on my sleeve gently.
"Noo!" I protested.
"Ugh you are so annoying Sinclair! Fine I will buy it for you?"
"Really?"
"Yes."
I looked at the price tag and is sixty dollar. My smiling face fell. I don't want him to spend that much money for me, especially after the super expensive perfume he got for my birthday. "Actually nevermind, Is quite ugly, I don't want it anymore."
"Sinclair you can't fool me, I saw the spark when you set your eyes on it. Please let me pay for it, think of it an apology gift for all these years I tormented you."
The cashier took of the security tag with a click of the machine, truely marking it mine. I giggled like a little kid as I buried my face in the soft fabric.
"Are you gonna get anything else here?" He asked, the super loud music plays in the background, making me struggling to hear him.
"No I'm just looking." I said quickly, I never shop in mall, everything is so expensive. I only shops in thrift stores. Everything at the thrift store is usually wore out and disgusting, but there's always something nice, you just gotta look for it hard enough. "The music here is so bad."
"I know." He grinned. "I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks so."
"All they play is the trendy music, I heard of them ten thousand times, I'm so tired of them." I groaned.
"What type of music do you like?"
"I like Chinese music. Especially those historical one, they are so emotional." I pulled out my wired earbud and gave one of the little bud, I shoved the other one into my own ears. "Wanna try some?"
"You don't have airpods?" The a month ago me would be offended by that, but now I see the pure surprise in his eyes.
"Sorry, You just gotta bear with them."
After we took a stroll around H&M we decided to go to Ardene. We are so close now, the earbud pulling us together, our shoulder brushing, I can feel his radiant heat through our sweater.
"The wire of your earbud is so short haha." He laughed awkwardly when he accidently bumped into me. "The music is sick though, both the background and the vocal alike."
"I'm glad you like it."
"What is that instrument?" He asked. "It sound so exotic, kinda reminds me of Sitar."
"Is guqing."
"Chinese have some really cool stuff like Hanfu, Instrument, not to mention the foods."
"I know right! That's why I chose Chinese as my major for university. People needs to give China cultural more credit."
"There's so much more to China than just 'Bing-chilling'or 'ching-chong'"
"Remember in grade five you accused me of eating dogs and Lily photoshopped a picture of me chasing after a husky with a chopstick?"
"I'm so sorry about that. I gave her that idea." He lowered his head looking truely ashamed.
"She's so stupid, she's Chinese too, infact she looked more Chinese with her dull dark eyes. Why did you dated Lily anyways? No offence but she's not exactly cute nor she have a good personality. You could have settled for someone better since you are so popular" I scoffed.
He didn't respond and I thought he didn't hear me. But after a few seconds he spoke. "Can I admit something really embarrassing to you?"
I nodded.
"I only dated Lily because I couldn't have the girl I wanted, she's the closest thing to her."
My ears must be playing a trick on me. "Who is the girl you wanted." I said, trying to keep my voice smooth.
He jerked his head at my direction, my heart skipped a beat. "What's her name?" I asked, I need to know if my guess is correct.
"Ugh you are so annoying Sinclair, you really gonna make me say it?" He rolled his eyes, pretending to be irritated. "Her name is…"
"Her name is what?" I say anxiously.
"Her name is…"
"Just spit it out already!" I smacked his arm playfully.
He obliged. "Her name is… Iris Sinclair."
I turned away so he won't see my red cheeks. I bit my lips as I try to process this information. David Singh wanted me?
"And I still want her. I wanted her eversince the day she walked up to me and asked me if we can be friends."
"Ahem." I changed the topic, pointing at the change room. "Imma go change into the new dress, be right back."
I dashed into the change room before he had a chance to replied. I closed the door with a thud. I sinks to the seat and started taking deep breath. What the hell am I suppose to do when someone just confessed their feelings to you? Is he gonna ask me to be his girlfriend or he is just saying. Or does he even mean it, is it just some part of his trick to break my already in pieces heart so I can't concentrate on mid-term.
The banging on the door interrupted my thought. "You forgot to take your dress in, Sinclair!"
"Just pass them from above the door!" I shouted back. "I'll catch them."
He threw the dress above the door like a basketball. The fine silk almost slipped through the tip of my finger and fell on to the germ cover mall floor.
I put it on, I love how the way the fabric hugged my body, shaping it perfectly, hiding my small chest with its chestpad and hiding my flat butt with its flowiness. I twirled in the small space, mesmerised by my face and petite frame in the mirror. For the first time in my life I felt pretty.
My arm tries to reach back to pull the zipper but my arm is too short. "David! Help me, I can't pull the zipper."
He rushed in and is greeted by my bare back. My cheek reddens at the thought of him of seeing my soft skin.
His finger grazes over my skin, I shivered as if I've been electrocuted.
"You are beautiful." He whispered, turning me around so we are looking at each other.
"Thanks." I smiled.
The tight change room surrounds us, giving us no escape but to face each other's feelings. I swallowed hard as if the wall is closing in on us.
"Wanna hear another embarrassing truth from me?" David asked. I feel his warm breath against me and I leaned closer.
"Better not be surprising as the last truth." I raised my eyebrows.
"I joined math olympiad, spelling bee, remembrance contest because I wanted to spend time with you more."
"You could have told me." I said softly, "I was dying to have more friends."
"I want to be more than just friend with you, Sinclair." He leans in closer now and I closed my eyes. "May I kiss you?"
"Yes." What a cute boy, I thought to myself, asking permission before kissing.
With that he closed the distance between us, our lip brushes against each other, like bodies of bees, soft buzzing with excitement. His lip tasted like honey.
For a moment I forgot all about the baby growing inside me, I forgot about Lacus, I forgot about my family. All I can focuses on is his skin touching mine.
The kiss is fleeting, just a pecking on the lip, but it felt like is stretched into a thousand moment. He pulled away before I can taste the sweetness more.
When he withdrew the guilt settled in. How could I be enjoying time with a boy when I'm impregnated with another men's baby.
"Be my girlfriend Sinclair. You will never be alone again."
"I can't."
"Why?" Confusion and tears clouds his eyes, his lip quivered like a little child just being told he can't buy his favourite toy "b-but we just kissed."
"I'm not ready, David. Not after Samson betrayed me…not when there's so much going on in my life" My own eyes are wet too, this time I don't bother to wipe it away. "How can I trust anyone after that?"
"You can trust me."
"I can't David, w-what if one day you told me this is all a stupid joke and you are just messing with me a-and you don't mean any of it." I said, my voice thick from my stuffy nose.
"Sinclair please don't cry!" He pulled out a tissue and dabbed my tears away even though his own is sliding down his bronze skin as well. "I understand, you need time to heal and that's alright. We can be friends for now."
He hugged me tight to his chest as I sobbed like a baby. I stared at his snot covered sweater. "Sorry I ruined your sweater."
"I don't care." He laughed through his tears. "Come Sinclair, let's buy a matching jewlery from Clair's to represent our new found friendship."
"Friendship for now."
"Friendship for now." He echoed.