Chereads / You're my phobia / Chapter 11 - Chapter eleven

Chapter 11 - Chapter eleven

In a long black dress with colorful flowers on, Elana stands in the kitchen, busy decorating some cupcakes. Her hair is made up in a rough bun, and she's barely wearing any make-up. She sings softly to herself, swinging from one counter to another to complete certain tasks. Liam takes a seat at the table looking at his mother in admiration. He's dressed casually in a pair of blue shorts and a striped t-shirt. With a turn, her eyes caught him making her shake. "Liam, you gave me a fright," she giggles and goes to him. He smiles at his mother and inhales deeply. It's obvious something is bothering him. Her eyes soften on his like the gentle love of a mother. "What?" "What's going to happen now?" He asks. The worry is visible on his face, and his voice sings the song of his fear. "Are you going to get another job, or will you and Jordan move in together?" "Move in together?" She asks and goes to the table to him. The chuckle from her throat comes out a little cracky. "No, sweetheart, we're not moving in together. I will figure something out. Trust me." "You don't sing and dance anymore," he says, looking worried at her. "Except now. Since Jordan has been part of the picture, you've been very down and...I'm scared, mom. I'm scared that you'll get involved with him and struggle to get out of it. I don't know much about my dad, but I don't want you to go through what you might've gone through with him." "Oh honey," Elana grabbed her son's hand, looking shocked at him. His maturity kicked off on a level she thought she'd never face. "Jordan is nothing like your dad. I like him a lot and he treats me very well. A lot has been going on lately, and as stubborn as I am, Jordan always stayed by my side. I am so blessed to have you as my son. I have no regrets over the past and what happened." "What happened?" He asks. She inhales deeply just looking at her son. He glares worriedly at her. "Tell me, mom, what happened with my dad?" "He was a one night stand," she kicks off giving her son a faint look. He raises an eyebrow, trying to make sense. She sighs and looks down, shaking her head slowly. "What's the use lying to you? You'll find out anyway." "Then tell me," he says. She looks painfully at him and goes around to stand next to him. His eyes are focused on his mother. "Mom, I'm not a kid anymore. I deserve to know the truth." "I know," she says, getting tears in her eyes touching his cheek. "But you are still my son. Gosh, you have such beautiful eyes, and your smile is just beyond what I can ever feel for. You know how to light up my day with anything you do. I love you, Liam, no matter what happens. You will always be my child, despite what happened between me and your dad." "I know," he nods his head and inhales deeply. "I can accept Jordan in your life even though I've been the only man in yours for a long time, so I think I can handle anything." "Are you sure?" She asks. He nods and smiles at her. Elana touches his chin and smiles softly at him. They share a moment of silence just staring in each other's eyes. She's afraid of never getting this look from him again when she tells him. "Alright, I'll tell you." He nodded happily and took her hand into his that was still on his chin. Elana inhales deeply and closed her eyes for a second before looking at him again. "It was a date. Fancy dinner, wine, candle lights, and roses. Gosh, I love roses. They were red...as red as blood, and they smelled so nicely. I wore a beautiful short blue dress because I was always told how it made my eyes stand out. I just wanted to be beautiful for him," she says and inhales deeply. Liam smiles at her, waiting for the rest. "Next thing, we're making out in the back of his car in the parking lot. In the silence, I hear him unbuckling his belt. So I pushed him away and asked what he was doing. He tried to kiss me again, but I pushed him away again. We started arguing, and just as I grabbed my things to leave, he jumped forward and locked the car. My heart started beating incredibly fast, and my whole body got weak." She licks the corner of her mouth and looks away from her son. Liam looks horrified at his mother and slowly gets up from his seat. There's confusion in his eyes that not even she can read. "Sweetie, just because it wasn't supposed to happen doesn't mean I didn't want you. I didn't want that to happen, but when I found out I'm pregnant...I never wanted anything more in my life than you," she explains to him and touches his shoulder. "I never should've told you. You're my son, and I love you. But you're a man now and...you deserve to know. I know you'll never hurt anyone the way your dad did." He winks a few times, looking away from her. His hands are shaky. Elana immediately takes notice of his body language. "What is it?" She asks softly. "Talk you me." "Your life could've been so different," he starts crying. "You could've been married, had more kids, and be whatever you wanted..." "No," she whispers with tears in her eyes and touches his face, getting his attention. "No, sweetie. I could've been married having you, and you could've had more brothers or sisters, but I chose the life I had with you. I love the type of life we led together. What happened made no difference to how my life could've been. If it was such a problem, I would've chosen the better way and gave you up, but I didn't. I carried you, sweetie. You grew inside of me, heard my heartbeat, and when you were born, all I felt was love. I never loved another person as much as I love you. I never felt more loved in my whole life the way I felt loved by you." "I'm sorry, mom," he cries. Elana pulled him closer to her and put her arms around him. He bury his face in her neck and hold her tight. "Thank you for never giving up on us. I love you." Elana pressed her eyes shut tightly and tightened her grip around him. Jordan takes a seat next to the two boys who sat on the mattress in the living room, getting a movie ready. He looks up at Elana, who came in carrying two trays of cupcakes. She puts it on the coffee table and turn to them. "Enjoy," she smiles at them. "You're not joining?" Joe asks. Elana looks at Liam, who looks at her as well. "Oh, I'm not sure," she says and starts undoing her hair. "I think I wanna have a warm bath and get in bed early. It was a rough day today." Jordan gets up and walks to her with an odd look. She folds her arms and looks up at him that stands next to her. "You sure?" Liam asks her. She nods happily and turns around. "Okay." "Can we talk?" Jordan asks. She looks at him and nods her head and walks with him to the kitchen. He looks at her, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Did I do something wrong?" "No," she replies and looks at him. "I'm sorry, Jordan, I'm not just really feeling up to it." "Okay," he nods, slowly looking into the living room and then back at her. She bites her lip and folds her arms. "Are you okay?" "Of course," she let's put with a breath and lean back against the counter. He walks up to her and stops when he gets in front of her. She breathes heavily, looking down and then back up at him. He touches her cheek softly and scans her face. Elana clears her throat, looking down, then back at him. "I told Liam." "About?" "His father," she replies. He looks surprised at her. "He asked, and so I...I never regretted it more in my life, Jordan. It's supposed to feel right now that the truth is out. I'm supposed to feel relieved, but I don't. I don't feel better or anything." "You have a little bit of regret telling him," he smiles. "That's normal, Elana. You're used to lying about it that the truth doesn't feel right either. Give it time to sink in. It'll get better." "I told Liam everything," she starts crying. "How he gave me roses that smelled so nice and how I wanted to look beautiful for him. I never did one thing right in my life except when I decided to keep my little baby boy. Somehow, it feels like I asked for it to happen. What was I thinking wearing such a short dress on a date with a man I only knew a week that I've been playing hard to get with just because I knew he would end up leaving? How could I be so fucking dumb?" "Hey, hey," he cups her cheeks giving her serious look. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Rapists doesn't ask what you wear or what you look like. You don't ask for things like that to happen. For you to ask for it, you have to be sick in the head. Stop blaming yourself, Elana. You went as any innocent young girl would on a date having no idea what's waiting." "I'm sorry. I'm always making my problems yours," she apologize and try to wipe off her tears. "Only apologize when it becomes a problem for me," he smiles at her. "Now, let's go to the living room and enjoy movie night with the boys. We'll probably play games afterwards and I'm really looking forward into challenging you in some fight game." "Okay," she nods with a giggle.