(The longest arc yet. Already has 9 chapter for this one, and I haven't finished it yet lol)
[Edward POV]
Saturday. One day before Halloween. I had a football match early in the morning, in which I acted as an assistant coach instead of playing. The reason I couldn't do that was because the agents thought it was too 'risky' for me to stay in the field.
*Beep Beep Beep*
The sound of a large Buy More supermarket truck reversing caught our attention as it backed down in front of my new house by the cliff. Standing beside me were Pepper and Randall, watching as the backdoor of the truck swung open. Suddenly, the driver tilted the truck's back, causing boxes of candies to tumble out.
"STOP! Don't do that!" shouted one of the agents, alarmed. Chandler, a staff member, rushed to the driver's door, banging on it and yelling, "STOP— STOP IT, YOU IDIOT!"
Startled, the Latino driver immediately halted the drop-off and apologized, saying, "Sorry, cousin. It was a habit."
Chandler turned to me and shouted, "Sorry, boss! I'll make sure to clean it up!"
"Don't worry about it. I kind of like the sight of candy hills in my front yard," I replied with a grin, turning to Pepper and shouting while breaking into a run, "Cannonball—"
But before I could jump into the candy mountain, Pepper grabbed me by the collar, treating me like a misbehaving kitten despite being shorter than me. He said, "No, you won't! Do you want paper cuts all over your body?"
An agent walked by and grunted, adding, "Besides, you can't approach it yet. We need to inspect the packages for explosives, poisons, traps, razors— you know what I mean."
I let out a sigh and remarked, "You know, these excessive security measures aren't really necessary, right?"
Agent Smith, who had male pattern baldness, replied, "It's better to be safe than sorry. Until you sign the agreement with the government of the United States, we can't leave you alone."
"Eh," I exclaimed annoyingly. "Tell me, Agent, how many of the teenage assets you've protected before didn't become rebellious when they were locked up and tried to break out? You already worsened my mood this morning. Are you sure you still want to act like that?"
Understanding my frustration, Agent Smith replied with a heavy sigh, "We will make sure that doesn't happen... again."
"Randall, make sure to include a trip to the dentist for Ed after this," Pepper whispered to Randall.
"I heard that!" I rolled my eyes, looking at the duo.
After some negotiations, the agents agreed to let me take pictures, pretending to play among the candy hill as if they were fallen leaves during autumn. I shared the photos on social media, expressing my gratitude to everyone who had sent me the gift.
In addition to the pictures, I recorded personal thank-you videos using emails for all of them. I sent them merchandise such as limited edition posters, t-shirts, and more as a token of appreciation.
Suddenly, amidst the excitement, a voice screamed, "AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" I turned to see a 10-year-old boy named Luke Dunphy, running and cannonballing into the pile of candies.
"LUKE! GET OUT OF THERE!" Claire shouted in frustration, looking apologetically and embarrassedly at the agents and staff members. She quickly grabbed Luke by the feet and dragged him out of the candy pile.
"No! This is my dream come true! It's a candy hill! I want to live here!" Luke squirmed, desperately reaching out to the pile as Claire continued to pull him away.
Phil, Haley and Alex were walking towards me. I turned to Phil whose eyes were glued on the candy hill.
"You want to jump in on that too huh?" I said knowingly.
Phil replied with a whisper, "I'll do that when there's no one around."
…
The Dunphys, the Pritchetts, and the Tucker Pritchett family gathered at my house to help decorate. Jay, my dad and Phil were by the pool, grilling some meat.
As I opened a box labeled "scary stuff," I was disappointed to find plastic bats and fake spiders inside. Taking a bite of my giant Toblerone, I felt a furry animal brushing against my legs.
"Meow?" Vader, the cat, playfully swatted at the fake spider, following me as I unpacked the decorations. I used a rope to capture her attention, and she eagerly tried to catch it.
"I want to do that too," Alex said, using proper cat toys in an attempt to attract Vader. "Come on, Vadie. Run towards this. Let me play with you."
Vader smugly ignored Alex, opting to play with the old rope I had been using. "Ugh. Why was I born with cat allergies?!" Alex grumbled about her allergies, unable to fully interact with the cat. She wanted to grab and sniff Vader, but her nose became red just by getting near her.
Just then, Mitchell, Haley, and Cameron entered the living room, each carrying boxes.
"Who has the cobwebs?" Cam asked gleefully. "I can swing by Costco and pick some up. There's a giant one only three miles away from here."
Haley replied, "We know. Ed and I went there together before."
"Uuuu," Mitchell teased Haley, causing her to blush. She turned to me and said, "Ed, I'm thinking about calling a yogurt... um... yogurt shop... person...?" She turned to Mitchell for help.
Mitchell chimed in, "Vendor?"
"Yeah, that. A fro-yo vendor," Haley continued. "Then we can display the candies you've received too."
"Better yet, use all the candies to create a Willy Wonka-like party with chocolate rivers and licorice trees," Cam suggested, forming a rectangle with his fingers to visualize.
Intrigued by the idea, I said, "That sounds awesome Cam. How about I hire you as my official party planner?"
Cam was taken aback by the sudden offer and stammered, "Wh-what was that?"
Haley chuckled, realizing my plan, and said, "Ed, that's a great idea. Who else has the innate creativity and vision to make it a reality in less than 24 hours?"
"We have less than 24 hours?" Cam nervously chuckled. Mitchell rolled his eyes and urged, "Cam, they're plotting against you. Don't fall for it."
"I mean, only someone reeeeeeaaalllyyy extraordinary could do it. Who knows, maybe they'll even be featured in a few magazines and get to ride that Golden Ticket right to stardom..."
"I'll do it!" Cam agreed instantly.
"Cam!" Mitchell scolded. "What about decorating our own house this year for Lily's first Halloween?"
"She's only one year old. She won't even remember it," Cam offered excuses before asking me, "How much budget do I have? Do I have a team?"
"You can use whatever resources you have at the company, and as for the budget, let's keep it reasonable, like one day's salary, mine obviously." I replied before putting my toblerone bar down. However as soon as it touched the floor, a shadowy figure with curly hair tried to snatch it, prompting me to pick it back up.
"In your dreams Luke." I snorted as I saw Luke's disappointed face.
"I'm going to live here now." Luke replied before he rushed away. Manny was waiting for him, hiding behind the sofa, and asked, "Did you get it?"
"No." Luke replied while shaking his head. "I'm sure there's more of those inside the truck. We need to get there."
"What are we waiting for Luke? I've been dieting for far too long to finally let myself loose this Halloween." Manny said as he took the lead.
"Where were you all my life?" Luke asked, impressed by Manny's nimbleness before he ninja-rolled away.
"I got it." Cam came to a decision after a while..
"How much is one of your day's salaries exactly?" asked Mitchell, confused. Before I could answer, Gloria entered the room, dressed in a revealing black bikini with a see-through cover and a large sun hat. She was accompanied by Lily, who had just started to walk which attracted my attention.
Cam replied to Mitchell's question, "Isn't it like 50 (G)? I think that's doable."
Haley smirked and said, "It's like 10 times that."
Gloria crouched down, holding Lily's hand and urgently said, "Ay, I made a bad mistake wearing high heels with her. Someone please take her hand; my back feels like it's going to break."
"I got it! Vader, let's go!" I exclaimed, running to grab Lily's hand. Vader followed along and stood in front of Lily. "Gato," Lily said in baby gibberish, pointing at the cat, impressing me.
"Mitchell, she just said 'cat' in Spanish," I remarked jokingly as I slowly let Lily walk towards the couch.
"Ayy!" Gloria rubbed her back in pain. I snickered and said, "What's going on Gloria? Not that young anymore?"
"YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" Gloria snapped at me. I burst into laughter while she was seething in anger. She rambled on in Spanish, but I was holding Lily, so she couldn't target me. Claire, who was drinking white wine as she held a fake skull in her hand, took the heat instead.
As I was leading Lily to her parents, Mitchell asked, "Ed. So I want to ask. What was the trigger for you to decide to act in a Disney show? Was it Selena?"
"I have the right to remain silent." I replied teasingly, "But if you must now, I'm doing it for the children."
"No. That's not it." Mitchell replied with a non-believing look. I was dumbfounded and said, "Is that so hard to believe?"
"Kinda." Mitchell said with a shrug.
While Mitchell and I were talking, Alex and Haley were looking at my direction while whispering to each other.
"You're the only one that can get revenge for us. It's more believable coming from you. After you do it, I'll join in. " Alex said, trying to convince Haley. Haley looked unsure and said nervously, "But…Isn't that too much? What if– What if this made him…you know? Not look at me as a girlfriend…material…anymore?"
"I know him. He likes a good prank." Alex added before she said sarcastically, "Besides, he looks at you as more of a family friend. So I don't think it can get worse than that."
"He didn't– You know what? You're right. Mom and him– They terrorised us with their pranks!"
"Yeah!" Alex shouted encouragingly.
"We need to teach them a lesson." Haley said with a determined look before she glared in my direction. I caught her looks and realized inwardly that the afternoon would get much more interesting.
As Cam had taken over the decorating committee, we all stopped what we were initially doing and went to the pool to relax, leaving the new party planner alone in the house to do his job.
I held Vader in one hand, and Lily in the other. Both of them were snuggling into me, as if they were competing for my affection.
Claire walked towards me and asked, "Hey, Ed, how are you doing? Do you want me to take Lily?"
"If you can pry her off, then she's yours." I replied.
Claire laughed and said, "Nevermind then. Okay I want to ask you about the new deal."
Jay overheard it and asked, "What new deal? Ed, you're starting something new?"
"It's confidential – You know, it's a matter of national security, so I'm not supposed to tell you. However I, for one, am not a stickler for the rules." I replied before I told them the overview of the communication projects.
"You know, you have a lot of fans in my company." Jay said after a while. "It's like you're the only thing in their mind. Even the clients who come by talked about you."
"Are most of them pretty girls?" I asked.
Jay was alarmed and he looked over to see where Gloria was, "Don't ask me questions like that… You trying to get me killed?"
I laughed and then asked, "No, I didn't mean it like that. What I was saying was that they flirted with you and tried to get you to open up more while subtly asking you what your relationship with me was and trying to see if they could get you to let them meet me, sometimes even promising benefits to you."
"Mo-Most of them. How did you know that?" Jay asked with disbelief. Claire then said, "Hey, I met a lot of people like that too. Usually when I was going for coffee or after I finished yoga– or during yoga…"
"Let me guess, all of them were young, incredibly gorgeous, and had the perfect body shape." I added it again.
"Ed what is going on exactly?" Jay asked with concern.
"Yeah… Most of them were spies." I replied with a smirk. Both of them were shocked, Claire even stood up from her seat.
"Say that again?" Jay asked, feeling dumbfounded and didn't believe he heard the sentence correctly.
"It's no big deal. They just want to get close to you, to get to me." I said.
"Oh my god, that is a HUGE DEAL!" Claire replied worriedly.
"Bigger than whatever your teenage daughter is concocting right now?" I said teasingly as I saw Haley and Alex walking together towards me.
"Ed…I need to tell you something." Haley asked with a worried expression. However, I could tell that she was acting.
"What's going on dear? You can say it in front of us." Claire asked, her controlling mother trait was activated, and that was what Haley wanted.
"Mom, I really need to talk alone with Ed." Haley said. "It's about what we did last week."
"What we did last week?" I was confused.
"Sweetie, you can just say it here. Whatever it is, just know that we're here for you." Claire said sweetly while hiding her inner craziness.
Haley smirked subtly, but I caught it. She then pretended to be this wronged woman and said timidly, "Ed. I just found out I'm pregnant. And it's… your child."
"WHAT?!!!" Claire shouted loudly, making everyone turn towards us. "EDWARD!?" Claire looked at me with disbelief and contempt.
Alex joined in, but she kept smirking even when she tried to be serious that she had to hide her mouth with her hand, "Ed. You need to take responsibility for this."
I chuckled a bit before I acted like I was in shock. I placed Lily's down on Jay's lap before walking towards the duo.
I held Haley's hands and looked at her affectionately, "Oh my god. Really? I can't believe it. I'm going to be a father. The only logical thing for me to do right now is to quit school and focus on my company so that I can be the sole provider. Now for the most important question, Haley Dunphy, will you marry–"
Alex chuckled before she realized something and widened her eyes.
[Alex's commentary]
"Wait a minute. Why is he proposing? He knows how the science works. Unless?" Alex gasped and her face blushed. "They did it secretly? Oh my god! This will backfire on us phenomenally."
[commentary ends]
"NOOOOO!!!" Claire shouted and finally had her meltdown. Haley, who was absorbed in her own world and imagination, snapped out of her delusions when she heard her mother screaming.
[Haley's commentary]
"That was really dangerous. When he held my hand, I started to think that maybe that wouldn't actually be a bad thing and that maybe it could work'. Luckily mom's scream pulled me out."
[Commentary ends]
"Oh my heart." Jay suddenly clutched his chest. Shocked, Claire, Haley and Alex rushed towards Jay.
"Dad! — Mitchell CALL 911!" Claire shouted. "Dad is having a heart attack!"
"Grandpa!" Alex shouted and her eyes became teary.
"Grandpa! We're just kidding! We're trying to prank mom and Ed to get revenge for their pranks on us! Please don't have a heart attack. Please don't die!" Haley said anxiously. She turned towards me and said, "Ed! Do something!"
"You heard that Jay? They tried to prank me." I said to Jay casually. Suddenly, Jay chuckled, which made all of the girls there dumbfounded again. Gloria rushed towards us, asking, "What happened? What happened?!"
Jay laughed loudly and said, "Pregnancy scare as a prank? Claire, they really are your daughters." He grabbed Gloria's hand and said affectionately, "I'm fine. I just scared them a little."
"DAD!" Claire shouted angrily. "How many times does my heart need to crash today!?"
Alex wiped down her tears and slapped her grandpa angrily, "Grandpa!! Don't scare us like that."
"Hey, set the stakes. I just matched you. Now you know that you have gone overboard. You almost killed your mother." Jay replied teasingly. He looked towards me and said, "Luckily Ed laughed and didn't react much before he played along, so I know you guys are lying. Seriously, who's idea was it?"
"It was Alex's idea." Haley exposed her immediately.
"NO! It wasn't me! It was Uncle Mitchell's idea!" Alex said defensively. Well technically it was Mitchell's idea, however he didn't even know that he had given it. All he did was whisper to Cam that the only way Claire would be spooked like they did if a daughter of hers got knocked up, and the girls overheard it.
Mitchell rushed in and shouted while holding his phone, "What happened? Who got hurt?"
I picked Lily and Vader into my arms again and said, "Only Claire's sanity got hurt. You can try a mental asylum and see if they can help."
"Psychiatrist, therapist, or even a doctor. Why did you jump straight to the mental asylum? Also, where's Phil?" Claire said begrudgingly as she stormed off..
"Right, where is Phil?" I asked in confusion. Then after searching for a while, Claire and I found Phil, Luke and Manny building a life inside the candy pile
"We're declaring this place, the United States of Candyland. All foreigners need a passport to get in." Luke said as he guarded the front.
"But it's my pile…and it's my place." I asked in confusion.
"We already claimed it. You snooze, you lose." Luke replied.
"Alright then. So I have no choice, but to reclaim what is rightfully mine. I will be sending an official declaration of war during our lunch. The United States of Candyland better be ready for the consequences of their–"
"Stop that. No one's going to war. Phil!" Claire looked at Phil with disbelief before pulling the boys out of their "nation".
"Honey, the Prime Minister of Candyland has already spoken. As the Head of the Department of Defense, I need to follow it. Now, unhand the president." Phil said stoically.
Claire contorted her face in confusion and asked with a high pitched voice, "What?!"
…
[General POV]
Underneath a supermarket in Burbank, in a NSA plus CIA joint black ops operation, 3 agents were being briefed by the CIA General Beckman.
The middle aged woman in the military uniform said through a video monitor, "We must obtain crucial information about the agreement between our target and the Department of Defense (DoD), as well as secure the new communications technology's schematic. We need to hold the technology in our hands as a measure to safeguard our country's security."
The newbie agent– who was recently a civilian until 2 years ago, held his hand up and interjected the general's briefing, "Hi. General."
"Yes Chuck?" The General asked with a sigh.
"Hi. I need to ask. Is this really necessary? He is working with the Department of Defense… That's basically us, so why do we need to get involved in it?"
"Follow your orders Chuck!" The General said annoyedly. "The place is guarded by numerous FBI agents, so you need to go undercover and extract the information out of there without exposing your identities."
" Luckily for you, he's holding a Halloween party tomorrow so you can use that to your advantage. He's also searching to get some frozen yogurt at the party, so Sarah, you have the perfect cover. Remember, get in, get out, don't reveal your identity no matter what. You got it Chuck?"
Chuck looked at the hot blondie next to him, before turning at the muscular army man sitting on the opposite site and flinched.
Casey asked, "You got that?"
"Yeah- Yeah I got it. Also, would it be so presumptuous of me to ask him for an autograph while we're there?" Chuck joked. Casey rolled his eyes at him while Sarah chuckled subtly.