Bangkok, the colorful daring capital over ten million people call home. The city is filled with crazy drivers, crazier traffic, the tastiest street food, bustling night life, the most beautiful women who give the Philippines a heartache every pageant season, and drop-dead gorgeous men that make lust look so regal.
Every year, people from around the country and the world pour into the capital to lose themselves into the mesmerizing sinful ways of the capital, under bright neon lights, in clubs and cabarets shows—or find themselves on the beautiful beaches of Phuket, surrounded by nature with the taste of the sweetest coconuts in their mouths.
They come with dreams and hopes and goals. For many foolish romantics, they come to find love. One would think in all the beauty the city has to offer, finding love would be easy. Everywhere you look, someone is selling you a fantasy of falling in love. From the TV shows, to the magazines, to the local flower vendor; they are all talking about finding the ONE. But no one actually does.
I was one of those foolish romantics, with big dreams of finding the perfect guy, falling in love, and riding into the sunset. For a while, the city won. It crushed my dreams and made me give up on the kind of love I dreamed of—that was until HE happened.
Before we dive into my rather chaotic love story—should we call it that? A love story? Oh dammit! I have become one of those people, you know—the kind that falls in love and all of a sudden won't shut up about it. We are gross, I know. But if you continue reading it's probably because you are gross too! You're either in love, pretending to not want love, never been in love or have had enough heartbreaks. Either way! You're here reading about an annoying person falling in love with another annoying person and that makes you gross—before we dive in, let me tell you all about Nat.
I was face-deep into a beautifully structured vagina, covered in her wetness when it hit me–I'd rather have dicks in my mouth.
I always knew I liked men, but back in high school I was still under the bisexual umbrella. All it took for me to realize I wasn't really bisexual, was eating pussy. It was a gay awakening of some sort. No offense to the gorgeous girl that let my scruffy self eat her out. She was way out of my league, and till this day, I don't understand why she let me. Believe me when I tell you; the only person I'd ever do it for again is Nat, my best friend.
If I had to do it all again, just so he could have the world, I would. We first met on orientation day in high school, both the smallest in our class. He was a tough guy, quirky, a bit of a douche with a smart mouth; it's why we bonded so quickly. We were foul-mouthed, loud and fought a lot, getting ourselves suspended—twice. Not to brag, but we weren't the ones with the black eye; if you know what I mean, HEHEHE.
How we graduated with honors; I have no clue. We ended up attending the same university—which should be a whole other story on its own because of all the chaos we caused—then worked in the same marketing firm for two years. The second I told him I was starting my own company three years ago, he quit his job to come work for me. Nat stuck by my side through it all, even as the reward grew smaller and smaller each year. Living and working together was our high school dream come true.
So! I just needed you to know how important Nat was and still is to me, and I to him. Neither of us ever thought we'd find the kind of love we have. We believed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. The love we shared as best friends was enough—or so I thought.
It all began because of the Eco Thailand Pitch.
"Code red! Code red!" Nat ran into my office, did a circle and ran back out.
I leaped from my seat, rushed to close all my office windows, before dashing into the general office area to close the rest, draw the curtains and lock the door. Nat did the same in his office then joined me to peep through the curtain gaps. A few seconds later, we could see him approach. We ducked, then a loud bang sounded through the door.
"I know you are in there, Khun!" Khun Charnvirakul screamed as he banged on the door, then the windows. We folded our lips and held our position, trying not to move a single muscle.
We owed him three months' rent, just three months! Big deal! He'd randomly show up to embarrass us and rub it in. I promised we'd pay, it's not like the office was any good, it was pretty run down and he blatantly refused to fix anything. We were just recovering from the pandemic and had lost a lot of clients, barely scraping by. Changing offices and downsizing the staff was the only way we could stay afloat for as long as we did.
"They are going for Chomklin!" Varawut dashed into the office from the bathroom.
Nat and I sprung forward, grabbed him and covered his mouth. He didn't know we were in code red, but it was too late, our landlord heard his voice and increased his banging, dishing out threats to throw us out. We Hurried back into the bathroom, pushing Wut along.
Varawut was and still is a very devoted catholic. Rosary around his neck, Virgin Mary statue on his desk, a Bible in his drawer, conservative plain taste in fashion. I remember thinking during his interview I would light up in flames from merely staring at the rosary. Though he was the most qualified for the job, I contemplated not hiring him. I had dealt with enough homophobia in my life from different religious groups, including mine and I didn't want any of it in my company.
I called him back for a second interview despite my doubts. This time, I asked his thoughts about the design for an LGBTQ+ foundation building we were hired to put together. He expressed his ideas like a professional, some of which went into the final work. I came out to him that day, expecting the "love the sinner not the sin" response. He only stared back at me, waiting for me to say something else, I had to explain I was coming out.
We had an honest conversation about his religion and my sexuality and by the end of it, I felt bad about meeting him with prejudices. All my life, society met me with prejudices and yet, knowing how painful it was, I did the same to him. It was wrong. He quickly became my favorite employee and apparently the only one willing to stick around after things went to shit.
"Code red?" he asked after we dragged him into the bathroom.
Nat and I nodded.
"Wait, who is going after Chomklin?" Nat asked, catching his breath after a long pause.
"You know who," Varawut replied.
"That fucking piece of shit!" I quietly screamed, fisting my palm in anger before turning to meet Wut's uncomfortable gaze. He hated swearing or cursing, finding it impolite. But Nat and I were a handful and would often slip up. "Sorry," I whispered.
"How did he know about Chomklin? We were the first to even get the news," Nat voiced his frustration.
"He must have his own people I guess," Varawut said.
"I swear to fucking God I'm going to kill him! I'm going to fucking kill him!" I groaned.
The banging stopped just in time and immediately, Nat and I rushed to our banged up old car and raced over to Chomklin Enterprise.
To many people, Wut came off as stuck up, lacking social skills and very conservative—I mean, he was a bit stuck up, but certainly not when it came to being a social butterfly. He knew everyone in the neighborhood, he was every grandma's favorite. His social skills earned him access to several assistants and secretaries in law firms, hedge funds, construction companies, design companies, investment firms, basically all of corporate Bangkok.
Having Wut as our little spy made it easy to find out when a new deal was on the table. We weren't paying him nearly half of what he deserved. We got tipped off first when Chomklin Enterprises started looking to expand, making plans to build their second offices in Pattaya. We were so close, that deal was going to pay the rent and bump up our pay checks.
Just as we arrived, there he was, stepping out. JARAN! FUCKING! TRAIKITYANUKUN! An actual pain in my butt! A slithering snake in a suit. Hair black like his soul. A thief!
Our shared disgust for each other began on orientation day, first year of university when he stole my chances of getting all the signatures from the seniors first. One of the seniors had taken a liking to me and promised to take my paper to all her friends to sign; even before the signing competition began. It would have won me the five-hundred baht promised to the first student to get a hundred signatures within an hour. An impossible feat I made possible.
Imagine my surprise, when I brought my paper, and she informed me she had already signed for me because my "friend" brought my paper and all her friends signed and left. Guess who my "friend" was! That's right! JARAN! Somehow, he found out and I was left short of ten signatures. It started a cold war and sometimes physical war between us.
First, we battled over the position of Department Moon, which he won. He was slick with the ladies; I'll give him that. But the next year I won best student in the department just to spite him and he came second.
Every year we battled it out, and that continued into adulthood. I quit my job to start my company and so did he. Both of us working in the same industry created room for more rumble; constantly fighting over securing contracts. I'll admit, I stole a few deals from under him too. But let's be clear! He started it first! So don't come for me! I was never one to rise above it all. When they went low, I went lower.
"Oh look! If it isn't the big tool and the other bigger tool," I mocked as Nat and I approached Jaran and his colleague/friend Mongkut. They were both tied at the hip, evil spawns of Satan, showing up everywhere with their annoying faces.
"What are you doing here, Ai Kit," Jaran asked, a stupid smirk on his face.
"Ai?" I scoffed. "It's Khun Kittisat to you, and shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?"
"We came for a stroll."
"Find somewhere else to stroll! Heck! Walk over water, I don't care. The Chomklin deal is mine!" I pointed a finger at him.
"Not according to this contract in my hand!" He waved a folder in my face.
"What did you do!"
"Nothing that you didn't already do, Ai Kit. You aren't the only one with spies in Bangkok."
I grunted, rushing over to grab the contract out of his hand and he quickly moved back, raising his hand so high, I couldn't reach it.
"I don't even know why you try with that height situation you got going on," Mongkut said with a high-pitched mocking laughter. "It's even worse with that other one." He pointed at Nat. He was always quick with his insults, getting under Nat's skin easily. It didn't end well for any of us whenever they went head-to-head.
"I'm 5ft7," Nat replied.
"I can see the top of your head. You are not 5ft7."
Nat sneered at him, plunging forward to throw a punch. "You stinking---"
"Ooi! Ooi! Ooi!" Jaran and I screamed in unison, rushing to separate what otherwise would have been a lengthy fight.
Half the time I was holding back Nat from a fight. He was quite rowdy, especially when Mongkut and his sharp mouth got involved. It took us a while to separate them; me dragging Nat back by the waist, Jaran dragging Mongkut by the shoulders, they were pretty set on a fight, cursing each other out.
"That's right! Walk away!" Nat screamed. "You're so lucky! I would have..." He kicked his leg in the air as I held him. "Beat your box face silly!" he threatened, panting heavily and shoving me off him. "Weakling!"
"Oh yeah? Wait till we beat your tiny head at the Eco Pitch tomorrow! Let's see who the weakling is then!" Mongkut retorted.
"Whoa! You little devils! You're going to Eco Pitch?" I yelled, agitated at the thought of competing alongside them.
"We got accepted, fair and square, so why not?" Jaran boasted, breathless from having to pull Mongkut away from a fight.
"It's starting to seem like everywhere I go you follow, Jaran! Are you a stalker?"
"Don't flatter yourself! Every architectural firm worth anything in this country is going to be there tomorrow. Believe it or not, the world doesn't revolve around you, Ai Kit!"
"You will address me properly!" I warned, pointing once again.
"I'll address you however the hell I want!"
And then he was under my skin.
I plunged forward ready to throw a punch, it was Nat's turn to hold me back. The air boxing and curse throwing began again, lasting way too long now that I think about it. For grown up adults we still behaved like teenage boys, but only when we were around each other.