After what happened that night, I noticed some changes in how Kyle treated me. He also became cornier and cheesier in the past few days which makes me wonder where he gets those lines.
One time, he sent my favorite flower, white roses, to my workplace and at the café where my co-workers and my customers were mesmerized and took some pictures with it. He also helps out as one of our waiters in the café if he has extra time on his hand. He told me that he wanted to spend more time with me in my workplace, even just for a day.
When I'm about to throw our trash one day, I was surprised to see him standing on our doorstep with a huge smile on his face. He confessed to me that he moved into the available unit before our room just to check on me every day and to show off his cooking skills. I'm confused by his actions. It's weird but I like how he treats me, how he looks at me. It's way too different from how he looked at me when we were young.
Paper works waiting for me at the back office of the café. I have to review the sales report for the past few months and see if there are any downfalls in our sales. I'm looking for a pen inside my bag when I noticed the dolphin keychain Kyle gave to me a few days ago from their company business trip abroad.
A smile forms on my face when I remember what he said that night at the playground. Does he mean what he said that day? Will he do the same thing he does now even if he didn't tell me he likes me?
My confusion was answered cruelly by the memory of a girl he was talking about on the same night. The girl he thought had a relationship with her friend but later on, he realized that they are just friends and nothing more. My smile vanished at that instant.
It's so cruel that it made my heart ache. I gave myself so much hope that finally, he has feelings for me, the same feeling I have for him. The way he acts, he treats and cares for me, it's like his silently saying I like you. I'll do anything for you, I care for you, the type of liking that almost says I love you. I let my guard down for a second and now, here I am, suffering from a serious heartache.
The kind of ache that made me cry, it is too much to bear. I feel suffocated, it's hard to breathe. My vision got blurry, I couldn't see a thing. Seconds later, I hear sobs but I don't know where it's coming from. Then drops of water fell on top of my table. I'm crying. The sobs I heard are coming from me.
Why? Why do I let myself believe that he will like me the way I like him? This stupid one-sided love of mine. Why am I so stupid and let myself suffer so much because of this one-sided love? This should have waited until I got home but it can't. I can't stop. I can't stop myself from crying. I'm so pathetic to torture myself like this.
I don't want them to see me in this pathetic state. I covered my face with my hands to stop the tears from running down my cheeks. I didn't notice that the door opened and someone came in. I can't hear what he or she said, the sobs blocking my sense of hearing.
Later on, I feel warm hands on my shoulders. Whoever that person is checking on me, they are trying to separate my hands from my face but I don't want to let go. I just continued to cover my face until they gave up. And that person who is forcing my hand hugged me. This hug feels so familiar, even his scent is familiar to me.
"It's ok! Everything is going to be fine," it's a male voice. His voice is soothing that helps me to calm down while his hand is rubbing my back to comfort me. I just rest my head on his shoulder for a little while until I feel myself stop sobbing. "Are you feeling better now?" I heard him speak again but this time I can recognize his voice. It is Kyle, he is kneeling in front of me and hugging me at the same time.
He pushed me gently to check on me. My face is all wet and my eyes are bloodshot and swollen. He gets something from his back pocket and wipes it on my face with care. Then fix my hair somehow, he tucks some of it behind my ears.
"How is she?" I heard Elaine's voice when the door opened once again. I can feel Kyle shrugging his shoulders and Elaine replied to him, "Ok! I'll stay outside. If you need anything, feel free to call me," she gently closed the door, leaving the two of us alone.
We remained silent inside. I can't look him in the face, I feel embarrassed about what happened just now. They saw me crying. He saw me crying. "Drink this," he handed me a glass of warm water before sitting down on the edge of the table, observing me. The silence covered the whole room again. You can even hear the movements outside the office.
"I'm sorry," I started, "sorry if I let you kneel for so long on the floor," I wiped my face using my knuckles. I made it sound like a joke to at least lessen the tension inside the room. "Why are you saying sorry for that?" He asked me with his serious voice. "I will kneel in front of you even if it took forever to calm you down," these sweet words of his, why are you putting salt in my wounds?
He kneeled again in front of me and lifted my chin gently using his fingers to meet my eyes. "It's ok if you don't want to tell me but please, don't just keep it to yourself. You can also tell me your problems like what I am doing when I'm with you. I want you to tell me everything, I want you to be more open to me. It will help you to feel better," he said in his calm and lovely voice.