Not being able to know what he was thinking, Darby slowly turned and took a peek at his face to try and read his emotions. He had tears in his eyes as he struggled with his own rush of emotions.
"Papa!" Darby cried, turning around to completely face him. She placed her hands on his shoulders in distress. She had never seen her papa so emotional and about to cry.
"I'm sorry Papa! I didn't mean to make you sad. I know you must be upset with me."
Her papa shook his head back and forth, taking his time to control his own emotions. He spoke in barely a whisper.
"No, I am sorry Darby." his voice strained as he expressed what he had been thinking and feeling.
"When you were first born I was so happy and excited, my businesses were all doing well and I now had unlimited resources at my fingertips… and I wanted to give it all to you. But I didn't know about daughters or girls. You were so small. My own mother had died prematurely and I never had sisters, so I felt like I had no idea what I should do for you, what a girl needed or what a girl's world would be like. But your Mama said she knew exactly how a girl should be raised and what girls need. So I went to work, I made sure we always had what we needed, more than what we needed, so that you could have the world at your fingertips. But what I saw when I came home was not what I was expecting."
He sighed, shook his head and rested his head in his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers as if trying to pinch off the flood of sadness.
"What I saw was so strict, and rough, and it felt mean. You are a child, you shouldn't have to sit still in a chair all day or have your knuckles rapped with a stick if you pick up something wrong or your side struck if you don't turn correctly in a dance or your legs hit if you don't lift them up correctly. Every time I've come home and see the Lady's lessons…it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Like watching a small innocent lion cub be whipped and trained to preform at a circus!" His voice rose in anger as he spoke.
"I've asked your Mama and the teachers, 'Why must you be so harsh on Darby?' and they all said 'This is normal, for a young Lady to fit into Society these things must be ingrained into her mind, so she never forgets them her whole life, she will always think of how to behave like a proper young Lady.'" He sighed rubbing his forehead as if he suddenly had a headache, and then continued.
"It made me so angry, 'Society says this, Society does that, Society looks down upon this' I don't give a damn about Society!" He yelled pounding his fist on his desk.
"I did not work hard earning all my wealth so that my daughter would be whipped and prodded through Society's hoops like some sad animal stuck in a lifelong circus, I won't have it! I agree with you Darby! You can do so much more than these Lady lessons are telling you! I am so glad you don't like them either. Darby, my brilliant girl, you are so sharp and clever. I know you can do whatever it is you set your mind to. Of course, I will take you to work with me and I'll teach you everything I know and anything else you'd like to learn that I don't know, I'll hire you new tutors, no more or those Lady lessons nonsense." He smiled warmly and pat Darbys head as he watched the tears of relief roll down her face. She smiled brightly at him and said.
"Really Papa?! I don't have to take Lady lessons anymore?!"
"Of course my dear!" Smiling happily back at her as she hugged him tightly around the neck
"Thank you Papa! I can't believe it! I am so happy!" she laughed out, still in shock. He chuckled and said.
"You don't need to worry about any of that awful nonsense ever again, you can do anything you like now." Darby pulled away from the happy hug and said doubtfully, looking into his eyes
"Really? Anything?" Her papa threw his head back and laughed loudly, "Yes, anything!" And Darby, being 8 years old, started to let her mind run wild with excitement. She quickly asked
"So I can dig in the dirt?" Papa nodded. "Look at bugs and rocks?" Papa nodded. "Study plants, the earth, other countries? Anything I want?" Papa nodded. Darby, feeling wild with excitement, asked something she thought he'd definitely say no to.
"What if I want to learn to fight or fence or punch someone right in the face?!"
"Pfft! Hahaha!" Her papa couldn't take it anymore and burst out with a boisterous laugh.
"Yes you can learn that, anyone should learn to protect themselves." This really got Darby thrilled at the limitless possibilities she now had before her in life, when just an hour ago her world felt so trapped and dark. Her mind was racing to make a list of anything she had ever dreamed of doing. Now she could really do it all. Her papa said he would help her.
"Maybe a scientist, or an artist or writer? A world traveler? Or-or a pirate? Or a sorcerer?!" Trying to think of the most wild possibilities she could. Darbys papa burst into laughter again. He felt so happy to have this brilliant, witty child as his child.
"Sure, any of that is fine, as long as you stay safe and you take me with you." Darby giggled.
"Of course, Papa, I'd be so happy if we went on adventures together!" They were both giddy and happy for the future time of learning and fun together it felt like a dream to Darby. With her enlivened thoughts racing, she suddenly paused and became serious. While looking at her papa she firmly spoke.
"There is only one thing I can think of that I don't want to be…" Her papa paused too at her serious tone and said ."
Hmm? Really? What is it?" She scowled as she thought about it and said strongly.
"Not a Lady!" Her papa slapped his head to his mouth and let out a thundering guffaw.
"Oh Darby you are too funny! You must get your sense of humor from me" as he wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye.
"You certainly don't get that from your Mama" he chuckled. And then it hit them. There was still mama to deal with about all this Lady lessons business. Mama had sent her here thinking Darby would be scolded harshly, but it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to her. But now the question was asked how to get around mama with all this, she would surely never allow it. Feeling so exuberant and the happiest she had been in a long time, Darby felt her mood start to drift down, feeling like her happiness could be snuffed out at any moment. Papa saw the downcast look on her face and said, trying to comfort her,
"Dont worry darling, I will tell Mama about this." Suddenly a loud thwack! Was heard as the door to papa's study was thrown open.
"...Tell Mama what?" Spoke the cold voice of mama.