TW : This chapter contains depictions of self-harm and can potentially harm the reader mentally.
Kathrina's gaze wandered aimlessly as she looked out the window. She felt nothing had changed since the last time she spent her time in the exact spot doing the same routine. Since the previous night, or perhaps yesterday, it had been pouring heavily with rain. She was no longer certain of anything.
The blazing sun had not penetrated the confines of her bedroom since she woke up. Every day She couldn't see anything but the overcast sky, and all she could hear was the rumbling of the thunderstorms to the point that it seemed normal. But, if she had to be honest, she doesn't even know the definition of normal anymore. She felt lost, as if she had lost touch with reality. Each day it became so hard to bear. She was in constant agony as she reflected on all of the things that had been taken away from her.
Kathrina got up from where she was sitting and walked over to her vanity. After catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she forced a grin on her face. Sadly, it didn't come out as she expected. The one who looked back at her had a creepy smile with dead eyes. It wasn't a pretty sight at all. She hated it. Suddenly, she took the scissors from the drawers and cut her long hair without batting an eye. The room was filled with nothing but the sound of her breath and scissors. She felt so peaceful. It's been so long since she experienced this kind of feeling.
It took several minutes to trim her hair to the point where it was just above her ears. When she looked at her reflection again, she noticed it now depicted a young woman with uneven short hair. She was satisfied with the result of her work. If only this feeling could stay for a while, then it would be perfect, but she knows all too well that this fleeting sense of happiness would be gone. After that, she would cry until there like there was no tomorrow. She wished all of this to end.
"Kathrina baby, mom made your favorite breakfast. Let's eat together with your dad and your brother."
Kathrina could hear the gentle voice of her mother. It caused her to feel a great deal of sorrow for her mother. She wanted to end everything, but her mother would cry in agony when she found her daughter's lifeless body. She tried to fight, but she was exhausted. She had to exert a lot of effort to act like a good girl and pretend that everything was fine to alleviate her family's guilt. She felt like a piece of herself had died every time she did it. She could not do it anymore, not today and not tomorrow either. She just wanted to close her eyes and fall asleep. By that time, she would have found the serenity she sought.
"Kathrina? Open the door, please."
She heard her mother again. This time her mother's voice sounded powerless. Her tears started to fall. She tried to hide her sob while taking the razor blades on her dressing table. She looked at it for a second. There was a flash of uncertainty in her eyes that vanished almost as quickly as it appeared. Gently she played with the razor on her wrist while looking at the smiling girl in the mirror.
Ah, so this is what happiness felt like. It felt too good that she could die.
Each time the blood fell to the floor, her smile grew wider and wider. It was her happiest moment after six months of pain. She thought she looked beautiful right now with her unven hair, dazzling smile, and lively eyes. She hoped her family could see her reflection right at this moment. They would be thrilled to know that their Kathrina was happy.
"I am sorry."
It was the last thing she said before her body collapsed. She looked at the white ceiling of her room while counting in her head, and she could not wait to fall into a deep slumber.
"Kathrina? Kathrina? Open the door, please!" The woman who was standing in front of the door shrieked as her face contorted in fear.
"Adam, Adam, please help me. Give me the keys, Adam!" After that, the woman's screams become even more audible, and the sound of footsteps running can be heard.
"Move, Kalina," Adam said with a trembling voice. After that, with a shaky hand, he opened Kathrina's door.
"Please, Kathrina, please."
The door opened with a loud thud, and the first thing Adam, Kalina, and Kale saw was Kathrina's body lying on the floor, bathed with blood.
"No, my baby." Kalina's voice brought Adam and Kale out of their stunned state
"Kale, please help your sister, please, Kale," Kalina pleaded with a hoarse voice for Kale to help Kathrina. Her entire being was trembling violently.
Without wasting another second, Kale immediately runs toward his sister. Tears began to well up in his eyes. He blinked and took a deep breath before checking his sister's pulse.
"She is still breathing. Please keep pressing the wound. Dad, have you called an ambulance?" Kale asked. After noticing his father nodded, he turned his attention back to his sister. Kale prayed in his heart that if his sister could make it, he would do whatever Kathrina wanted. He didn't care whether his sister demanded silly things or not. If she made it, nothing else didn't matter.