"What do you want, Zeno… What the hell do you want???" he yelled at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, "You can't give her the happiness she f*cking deserves, so take her out of your head… get her out of your head!!!" He Yells again and slams his fist into the mirror, shattering the glass into pieces, not minding his now injured knuckles.
He just had no idea what to do anymore. He told himself he loved her as a sister, but he was just lying to himself. You don't have sex with a woman while thinking of your sister... That's wrong and disgusting.
Dan-a was right, no matter how much he thought about it, he just couldn't live without Piccola. Even now he wished for nothing more but her. He was out of his mind, he knew it. He wasn't supposed to be feeling this way, but he just couldn't help it.
Maybe if they had never gone to that island, if she hadn't sincerely confessed her feelings to him, if she hadn't kissed him, if he hadn't kissed her back and loved it… maybe, just maybe if he hadn't loved her little hands holding onto him, if he hadn't kissed her the second time, and held her breasts and loved the feel and size of them in his hand, if he hadn't seen her naked, if he hadn't allowed all this to happen in the first place, maybe they would still be the same way, maybe he would never have realized he could think of her this way, but all these things happened.
The island happened.
She wanted to prove to him that she was a woman, and damn did she do a remarkable job. She wanted to show him that she was not a child, and heaven knows that he sees everything but a child when he thinks of her now. She wanted to show him that she was capable of loving him and teaching him to love her too, and Lords! He was going mad for her.
He told himself he was alright, and he was okay, but he wasn't. He knew deep down that he wasn't okay at all. He needed her, but he was just too cowardly of a man to admit it.
...
Later that night, after a sizable amount of drinks...
"Dan-a… is that you?" he called out as he saw the silhouette of a lady in the dark, walking into the sea. "Dan-a!" He called out. "Where are you going, where did you go all this while, why didn't you come see me?" he questioned, running closer to where she stood. And she finally turns and faces him, and now he could see her clearly. It really was Dan-a.
"You don't need me anymore Zee. You can do fine without me now…" she yelled over the sounds of the smashing tides.
"What are you talking about? I need you, I always have, and I always will. Please… please come back. I love you Dan-a." He cried out, for some reason, he couldn't move closer to her. It was like he was stuck in the sand. His legs refused to walk.
"It's like I told you before Zee…" She slowly moved closer to him. "Yes, you love me, and I know that, but you do not love me as the one who owns your heart any longer. You just love me as a woman you once shared a life with, a woman you once dreamt of spending forever with. That's the love you have for me now… I'm just a shadow from your past."
Some part of him refused to accept her words, but a bigger part of him knew she was right. She was always right.
"Zee, the one you love and dream about now isn't me, you dream of her at night now, you think of her and only her, she's the one you want to spend forever with, not me…" She takes a step back again into the sea, and her smile broadens. "Zee, the one you need is her, not me." She pointed to the other side of the sea, and from there she emerged.
His little devil. And his heart throbbed like it had never done before, seeing her walk out, and he could feel his feet move themselves towards her. It was like she was a magnet, pulling him in her direction, and he just couldn't stop himself from going.
"But!... It's not right. How can I love another when I swore to love you and only you for eternity. How can I be sure that I won't make the same mistakes again? What good will come out of me showing my love for her? What if I lose her too the way I lost you, what if…" Forcefully, with much pain, he held his ground, forcing his feet to come to a halt.
"Faith Zee, have a little faith, in the woman you love, in yourself, in the people around you, and in God." she says, and turns back to the sea… "And Zeno," she calls out as she walks deeper into the water. "It's really okay to love again. Don't hate yourself for falling in love with someone else, don't try to hide your feelings for Luna because you feel guilty for me. It's alright to love another, especially when that other is your Piccola."
"Good-bye Zee… I love you."
And tears flowed out of his closed eyes where he had fallen asleep naked on the cold floor. And he opened his eyes, looking up at the wall clock, he had slept for less than thirty minutes…
"Dan-a." He choked on her name, his lashes fell close in pain as he tried to picture her face. And he could see her bright smile, looking at him, and his heart ached for her... "Dan-a... Goodbye my love."