"When winter comes it's the most time I feel alone."
if existed a time to go back and rewrite. I'd probably go back in time to do it. The consequences of responsibility and love are on an imbalanced scale. One may rise the other may fall.
~~~
"What have you so lost in thoughts, my love?" a soft voice said. The soothing voice sounded like getting wrapped in a warm blanket when one felt cold. Comforting a loved one when facing reality is quite hard. That's when you realize you're an adult, and dealing with such trivial things becomes the norm.
"Thinking about death and you...When will I have to say goodbye?"
It's harsh to say or ask.
"I thought we talked about this already?"
"No one should have to discuss death with someone they plan to spend their life with, but I guess I have to."
Mixed with hurt and sadness. The voice screamed and shouted as if it was the best choice of coping there could be.
It sounded cruel of her to speak this way.
It sounded like a lack of feelings for the other side but in reality, it was her convincing herself of this cruel yet unbelievable situation.
Reassuringly the soothing voice said, "We are going to spend my last days perfect until it's my end." There that soft voice goes again. Thinking every word that comes out of his mouth is fitting, but little did he know he is making it worse for the person he loves.
"You have already accepted your reality, but I can't accept mine..give me some time." A shaken voice spoke.
"I will give you your time...If it's hard for me, it's hard for you as well..." numbness filled him.
".....I will leave our room. I hope you accept what is sadly our life now." His hands became stiff as he walked out of the bedroom.
Sometimes the best comfort is to give someone space.
The other person was seated at the corner of their bed. Her thoughts kept her up.
"Why is this world cruel."
Facing reality has become the reality of someone who has run from such a word."Living in the moment " was this so-called motto for this person. Now living in such a moment has become suffocating for her.
She looked up at the white ceiling before giving up and laying down on the soft bed, with her legs still dangling off the bed.
Her mind filled with the thoughts that constantly ringed thru her mind rapidly like a ticking sound that gets irritating every time it rings off.
Round the clock, her mind kept telling her Leo was leaving, and there would be nothing after he had left. The purpose of her life after finishing school was to live old with this man.
Seemingly living old isn't her option again. How is it that she is supposed to accept everything that is thrown at her so abruptly? Someone else would have given up and left, but to her, she couldn't leave. Even though he has no choice but to leave her.
Little tears escaped her face as she slowly accepted her sorrowful reality. Being alone in this world isn't what she had imagined she would face again. It's as if she was reading back the same old book as a kid but with a different character. This time it's her lover going, not her parents.
Hard as it's to accept everything, but in due time she will. With her last thought."I love him." As her mind gets a little hazy, she falls asleep, not even knowing when.
Her lover, who was just outside the door the whole time fixed her body correctly on the bed. After witnessing her body ache in the morning due to her sleeping badly on the bed. It became a little routine without him realizing it. He softly whispered, "Who's going to do this? When I am gone?"
~2 DAYS LATER~
"Leo!, How do we move forward now?" she couldn't say it to his face because that would lead to the spilling of tears. It wasn't so easy for her to say it just like that. With a lot of worrying and most definitely crying. She has decided not to swallow herself in a loophole of never-ending sadness. That is only wasting time for her. Her only desire was to have all the time there with him.
"Moving forward is asking, are you okay?"He shouted from the kitchen.
Being the little housewife he is, he was doing the dishes after breakfast.
Rose sat in the living room while he stood in the kitchen waiting for her answer. Her eyes became instantly teary.
She felt as though something had stuck in her throat as she spoke. Rose answered cautiously giving off no hint of such.
"Ah-... I'm coping as I go along, even though it's hard to do so."
As she answered him, her voice became cracky, making every word that came out barely comprehendible.And yet all the words she had uttered were understood by him.Keeping her head down, it was all too silent for only her, a painstaking quiet. Her heartbeat and her sharp breaths were all that existed in that short moment. Footsteps were coming her way.
She looked up at him with her barely tamed tears. He came closer, kneeling down in front of her, resting his head on her knee.
Giving her a small reminder in case she forgets in the future.
" I love you...I really..do." she ruffled his head and lean against him."I will cherish you till the end, Leo. I wish for you do the same." She said smiling genuinely for the first time in a while.
"I sure will." he lifted his head to plant a kiss on her soft lips and everywhere on her face. First time in days was able to finally see her smile. He couldn't help but adore this moment as if it were his last. That's what he plans to do moving forward.
From any moment he lives in it would be his last, for only him to cherish.
They said soulmates aren't for everybody, but why do I have one, and why do I need to leave her alone? Why am I the one have to suffer? Why do I have to leave?
The thoughts of
~few hours~
"We got two months till my surgery let these two months be two years for both of us" he sadly said to his lover who sat across him. Staring blankly at each other both only wanting to comfort each other in these hard times.
He leaned his forehead against hers whispering. "What can we do within these two months, love?"
She quickly answered as if time was running out for her, "I want to get married to you that's all I want to do at this time ." Time never waited on the couple that once thought time was their friend and long-time companion.
"If so I will comply with any of your wishes, love," he said while linking his eyes with hers. Silently forming a contract just by looking into her eyes. My last and only love .why do I have to leave you alone?
"I want us to go register our marriage tomorrow, my sister will go with us," Rose said to Leo making an immediate decision wastes no time because there is no time to waste. A soft smile appeared on his face. Sure...my rose."
Just like that, they were now a married couple both in name and soul. It was an easy process, but it's probably the first and last easy step they will take together. Rose and her sister had a small argument before registering. Not everyone was going to be on their side with their style of coping and waiting.
"Are you sure, rose? You know what's going to happen...don't you?
"Of course, I know that's why I am taking this last chance I will have," Rose answered back, wasting no time speeching off her sister.
"I just don't want you broken when he goes, rose!"
"I am already like that, and it won't be any different, but what will be different would be me filled with regrets, and I don't want that."Tears could or would of fall, but she knew she was to be perfect for this perfect moment. Whispering the last words to her sister."Do this for me and let me be, please?"
After dropping off his now-sister-in-law and being left with his now-wife, a tranquil atmosphere filled the car. For a mere second, every burden; they had was buried for a while. Only remembering they were now husband and wife. Leo looked at her with a smile across his face. "I am happy to walk with you, Rose."
A smile spread on both their face. "I am happy as well."
They interlocked their hands to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere that filled the car.
There were many trials to befall the seen and unseen.
.