"Hitomi Yoshida" – A name that rests on a polymer plate that is removed by the hands of a janitor, from a locker that until a couple of months ago was occupied by a graduating computer science student.
The hands covered by the marks of age shake slightly, as they turn the combination knob of the lock to open the door. A pair of sneakers, three dusty books, a music player whose battery has already died, and a family photo taped to the back of the locker.
The teary-eyed man delicately detaches the fragile photo, which breaks at one edge, dividing the sisters who were posing smiling during a family celebration.
Just like the essence of life itself, what has died leaves a scar, like the one that the mayor intends to cover over the photo with a bit of tape. Muttering insults about himself, for not having taken care of such a valuable object for someone who was no longer in that world.
- "Why do wonderful people die so young?" – Filling a cardboard box with the student's belongings, the mayor closes the locker and begins to walk slowly to the entrance where a young woman with black hair tied in a ponytail is waiting for him.
- "These are all Miss Yoshida's belongings" - Without saying a single word, the young woman took the box with the personal belongings and made a slight curtsey, pressing that package against her chest. Walking without looking up more than just at times when he felt that some object was getting in his way.
Akemi Yoshida, Hitomi's younger sister, had flown in from the East Coast to take a call from the Alameda County Coroner's Service. For five years, he never took a call from his sister, much less answered the correspondence. But a casual impulse that day made her pick up the phone only to realize that the distance that separated them had become impassable on the border of death.
- "Did you collect everything?"
- "Yes, grandmother. We can go now" – Waiting for him leaning on the awning of a red Chevy, a woman in her late 50s looked at her carefully, expectantly in case she collapsed due to depression. Hellen McGregor, the maternal grandmother, had taken care of Akemi during all those years of separation due to Hitomi's refusal to share the same roof. Similar in appearance to the mother who abandoned them, the young woman who had lost her father, it was difficult for her to look into her face and not remember the woman who turned her back on them.
- "Are you sure you want to do it? If you want, I can do it alone; You don't need to have to face…"
- "Yes, I want to do it. Please don't insist anymore grandma."
- "Whatever you want. She may have hated me, but she's still my granddaughter. It's the least I can do for her if my daughter abandons them" – With her hands behind the wheel and her eyes forward, Mrs. Hellen had a somber expression. As she had said, for her Hitomi was part of her family, despite the differences and disagreements, that young woman had a place in her heart. When he found out about his sudden death, in the depths of his being he felt brokenness down to the smallest fiber of his soul. Spending a week without even daring to try a bite, ending up hospitalized for her chronic gastritis condition.
After driving for two hours from the university, the car reached the suburbs where the apartment building where the young Hitomi once lived was located. Surrounded by its perimeter with flower boxes from which some flower trees could be seen, their footsteps led them from the parking lot to the door of apartment 101 where landlady Yang lived. Pressing the intercom button, they heard the voice of an older woman taking the call.
- "Tzk Tzk… Yes, who is it? You want?"
- "Olivia, it's me, Hellen. Please, let us in" - With the sound of some chains and the pin sliding through the rod of the bolt, the old woman's face peeked over the edge of the door, giving them the pass when she realized that it was her old acquaintance .
A small apartment, with shelves on the walls on which ornaments and porcelain dolls rested. It had a slight aroma of cinnamon incense, enlivened by the sound of an old phonograph playing a romantic ballad by a group from the 50's.
With plastic-covered armchairs and two Siamese cats that slipped between their owner's legs, the old woman sat at the table inviting her companions to help themselves to some freshly brewed coffee.
– "I see that the years continue to be generous with you Olivia. I thought that at your age your grandchildren would have already sent you to the asylum."
- "You are still as biting as when you were a brat Hellen. I still remember when you came to the patio of my house with scraped knees and a black eye from fighting with the other kids who wouldn't let you play ball with them" – Sitting with her cup of coffee in front of her, Akemi kept her eyes down while a cat lay purring in her lap.
- "Yes, you always treated me like one of your daughters. I think you were the closest thing to a mother during my childhood" – Taking a sip of her coffee, Hellen brought back the bitter memories she had of her late mother. An alcoholic woman who used to beat her repeatedly, accusing her of causing her husband to leave her.
- "Let's leave the nostalgic talk for later, I know you haven't come here to reminisce about the past with an old woman. Give me a few minutes, I'll bring them right away" – Leaning on the edge of the table, the old woman took her cane and walked towards her room. Listening to the sound of the wooden doors of his closet opening while he searched through the objects.
- "Grandma? Is she the woman you were telling me you asked to take care of Hitomi?"
- "Yes, she is. Mrs. Yang lived for a few years in the same neighborhood as me. When I first met her she was in her mid-thirties, while I was a brat of no more than ten. After he moved to California, we kept up our communication through letters and well that's how you see it, we have a good friendship.
When your sister decided to stay here, I asked Mrs. Yang to find her and offer her an apartment."
- "So the rent that Hitomi paid?"
- "Your sister was too proud, if I had given her the money directly she would have rejected it. That is why I asked Mrs. Yang to give me a cheaper price compared to what she usually rents, while I sent her monthly deposits to cover the difference." – Drinking her coffee holding the cup with both hands, Akemi saw her reflection on the black surface of the drink, reminding her deceased sister for a few moments.
- "Here it is. The fire practically destroyed almost all of their belongings and others were rendered useless by the water that was used to extinguish the fire. This is what I was able to get back for you guys" – A box with an old photo album that had a subtle aroma of soot, some volumes of light novels, and a worn-out stuffed animal in the shape of a dog. Resting all those objects on a sweater with the emblem of the university.
Holding it in her hands, Akemi placed it on the table while caressing the edges with the palms of her hands subtly, thinking of her sister's face letting out a couple of tears as she suppressed her tears.
- "Little girl, I know I shouldn't get involved in what they don't call me. But it's not okay to suppress your emotions the way you're doing. If you want to cry, do it. No one is going to stop you and you shouldn't be ashamed that I'm here. The time I met your sister, she talked a lot about you and when she did, her face had a smile as radiant as the sun." – Placing her wrinkled hands on Akemi's hands, Mrs. Yang stared into her eyes with an expression similar to the one a grandmother would have towards a grandson who has just been hurt.
Unable to contain herself any longer, Akemi poured out her heart on that table. Crying from the depths of her soul screaming Hitomi's name. Until her tired, red eyes closed in a deep sleep, leaning against Mrs. Hellen's chest.
- "Olivia, you know very well that she cannot go overboard like that"
- "Girl, it is much worse that the poor thing suppresses her heart with that pain. I know you're worried about her, but you can't take away what makes her a human being just because of your fear" – Running out of words, Hellen couldn't blame Mrs. Yang, who much to her regret was absolutely right.
After a couple of hours, the young Akemi woke up on Mrs. Yang's bed, turning her face towards her grandmother who was sleeping sitting on a chair with her body leaning against the wall.
- "I see you've woken up"
- "Sorry Mrs. Yang. I got carried away and lost control of my emotions"
- "I have told you that you should not repress yourself, that will hurt you a lot. You are not a monolith, you have blood flowing through your veins. It's normal for your feelings to flow when they have to."
- "In any case, I'm sorry, thanks for being so understanding" – Leaning her head, Akemi put her hands through her hair for a moment. Adjusting the locks that had run to his face.
Keeping her gaze calm, Mrs. Yang once again went to her closet, taking out an old Walkman disc and a case with a rewritable compact disc. Which he put on Akemi's lap, who looked at that object with some strangeness.
- "When you really need it, put your headphones on and listen to that record. You'll see how everything will be fine when you hear it" – Turning around, Mrs. Yang went to where Hellen was, patting her on the shoulder making her wake up.
Bidding farewell to the old woman, both Hellen and Akemi returned to the car and headed toward the center of town. With her head leaning against the glass of the door, Akemi saw the pedestrians walking along the sidewalks as if they were dolls, their faces blurred as a slight discomfort afflicted her stomach.
- "Maybe the coffee was too strong for you, you should have left it on the table honey"
- "Don't worry grandma, besides, I think your friend wouldn't have taken it very well if she had refused her hospitality"
- "Hey, hey. If that old lady listened to you right now she would be scolding you. Remember what he told you about not holding back."
- "Then why have you asked me all this time Grandma?"
- "Because I have been very shortsighted, honey, even I can be wrong. That's why I wanted us to go to Mrs. Yang first before going to the commissioner's office. She is a good adviser and my compass when I have forgotten where I am standing" – With one hand on the wheel and her left elbow leaning against the door supporting her face with her hand, Hellen had a slight smile on her face as she said those words. While even her eyes had that hint of regret, in the timbre of her voice there was a more relaxed air after seeing her old friend.
Upon arriving at the commissioner's office, the office assistant invited them to take a seat in the waiting room until the officer in charge of the case vacated to attend to them.
In that small space with light-colored walls and a couple of ornamental plants, the air from the ceiling fan gave a warm breeze with the late summer wind. Making a heavy feeling invade Akemi at times, who was awakened by her grandmother at every opportunity.
- "Mrs. Hellen McGregor" – A dark-skinned man with short, slightly graying hair, white shirt unbuttoned at the neck with his sidearm on his chest. The detective in charge of the case showed up with the authorization documents ready to sign, so that Hitomi's cremated remains were delivered to her relatives.
After a few months in which the mortal remains of the young woman constituted part of the evidence to build the scene of the murder case against Richard Thompson, the coroner's office ended the proceedings and began to carry out the delivery procedure. Delaying a few days due to bureaucratic procedures.
- "As a member of the police department, I speak for this office offering you an apology for the delay in your mourning process. If you wish, the department can offer you free psychological support to deal with the stages of grief" – Extending his hand firmly, the officer shook hands with Mrs. Hellen, who embraced her granddaughter's ashes as she he inclined his face giving thanks with his broken voice.
At the end of that day, the two women went to the airport, handed over the rental car to the dealership, and headed for the customs area, passing the ashes and belongings through tedious paperwork, before boarding the flight to Boston.
Looking slightly gaunt in the face, Akemi scratched her head frequently as she arranged the pillow on her plane seat back. Before the downcast look of Hellen, who was taking a couple of aspirins to reduce the headache due to the exhaustion of the trip.
- "Akemi, breakfast is ready. Can you go wake up dad?" – Plunged into a nostalgic dream, the young woman returned at the age of ten during the first days after her mother's abandonment. Standing in front of the stove stirring the frying pan, her sister Hitomi with her hair tied up in a net, served the scrambled egg on the plates while the toaster made the crispy meats jump.
- "Come on, I'll put jam on your toast. But be good and go with dad" – Despite having her face tired from waiting almost all night for her father, Hitomi smiled at the little girl in front of her with her gaze full of affection.
- "Sister, why did you leave me?" – The question that was repeated in Akemi's heart, left her lips in that dream without receiving an answer. Just repeating the scene until the movement of the plane landing made him wake up.
- "Akemi, we have already arrived. Help me take the luggage, we'll take a taxi at the airport entrance" – Struggling with the suitcase stuck in the overhead compartment, Hellen had tiredness reflected on her face, as if she hadn't slept throughout the flight.
- "Yes, Grandma, I'm coming" - Feeling her legs heavy, Akemi leaned on the armrests of the seat to push herself, until she was finally able to stand up. Being helped by her grandmother, who hugged her all the way until they got to the taxi to go home.
When they were finally able to arrive, the young woman took her sister's ashes and took them to the room where there was a small corner cabinet in the shape of an altar, where the photo frames of her father and sister rested.
- "Father, I have already brought it with us" - Kneeling in reverence, Akemi placed the urns one next to the other. Lighting a stick of incense to give a prayer for their souls.
- "COF cof."
- "Akemi, daughter. You better go upstairs and lie down so you can rest. The journey has been very long and I am afraid that you may catch a cold"
- "Calm down grandma, I'll be fine. Don't worry" – With a smile, Akemi took the walkman disc and the compact disc to go up the stairs to her room. Where he sat on his bed taking a long breath covering his face with his hands, throwing his body back. Dropping the cancer wig that had been bothering him throughout the trip.
As if it were a curse, the young Akemi had developed a carcinoid tumor on her left lung. Just a year after his father's death, as if fate had grabbed him by the neck and plunged his face into dirt.
Unable to tell her sister Hitomi, Akemi cut off all communication with her. Hoping that due to a feeling of detachment she would never look for him and she could rebuild her life without having to spend her existence tied to the shadow of a painful past.
- "Cogh, cough, argh" - Raising one hand to her chest, squeezing it hard while covering her mouth with the other, Akemi turned her face, releasing a clot of blood onto her palm. Searching the bureau for disposable towels to clean his mouth.
- "You must think I'm stupid, right Hitomi? I tried to get away from you so as not to drag you into this, but I ended up causing you more pain even until the moment of your death" – Covering her eyes with her forearm while crying silently, Akemi put her hand on the old record player and felt the urge to listen to the audio track as advised by Grandma Yang.
As the audio track began to play, Akemi's eyes filled with tears as her lips trembled as her fingertips brushed over them.
- "Akemi, I know this would not be a decent birthday present. But I wanted to give you something to remind you of me when you leave Grandma's house to go to college. You know, it's hard to live alone. But I know you're even stronger than me and you'll do well, you'll make so many friends that I even think I'm going to feel jealous.
You were always the more sociable of the two, I think you got that from dad. And that makes you a very special girl.
Well, what I want to record on this record is that lullaby that I sang to you when you were scared during the nights that dad didn't come home. You may not remember, but I stayed with you by your side until you fell asleep. – Listening to the lullaby with Hitomi's voice, Akemi's lips moved in sync with the speed of the melody. With his heart overflowing with warmth while his cheeks were soaked in those salty pearls that rolled down them.
- "…When the moon shines in the sky
And make your home in the clouds
remember the tender morning,
when the sun wakes you up at dawn." – Repeating that stanza, Akemi hugged the player, directing her gaze to the patched photo that the janitor gave her.