"Come on Hitomi , get your damn humanity quick by the pillar. We need healing magic on our tanks" – The one who is screaming like a maniac is the captain of my team of players in the gladiator league. It's basically a MOBA-type linear story game, it has a wide share of users around the world and yes, indeed. As you just suspected, my team is losing and unfortunately we are in the regional finals, risking our place in the national playoffs.
My name is Hitomi Yoshida, I'm 23 years old, unattractive and obviously unpopular, gamer girls are supposed to live up to the stereotype of exuberant beauties with an angelic smile, but no. I'm not like that, welcome to the real world, I'm an antisocial girl who prefers the comfort of a small room surrounded by my personal things and a good bag of chips and soda.
The ones you usually see on streams are just self- marketing with bad gameplay, but no one is going to watch them or donate because of their amazing controller capabilities, right?
"Vargas damn it, are you blind or can't you see that two assassins are coming through the crack?" – Oh damn, because I was doing my introduction another of our members has already fallen. We are only 3 against 5, this does not look good. You will have to excuse me for a moment, but I must return to my role at stake.
"I still have healing runes left, but it's only four, where the damn wizard is. James, the fuck don't throw yourself against the pillar this is not a fucking anime. Damn virgin otaku." – Ahem, if that flowery lexicon is mine, sorry I'm sorry, but what did you expect in a competitive game full of men with high testosterone levels?
You can't be picky in a competitive environment or you'll be eaten alive, that or some jerk will try to push you around as soon as he gets the chance.
What I like about online games is that you rarely have the need to show your face to the public. Everything becomes a tag with your IGN and maybe a funny avatar, only rarely do you have to be in a case of meeting in the real world, such as going to meet the members of a local guild or, failing that, a competition.
Ironic, right? I have told you that I am antisocial, but I am here in the middle of a crowd in a room with other players. The explanation is simple, they are going to pay me whether we win or lose. I am not a regular member of the team and the girl who was supposed to be here ate some bad food and is experiencing a very close relationship with her toilet.
A tall, good-looking blonde girl, the stereotype he had commented on a moment ago. But even the stereotypes get sick and have to shit like any mortal. All living things do it, don't make that disgusting expression.
Right now I'm playing his character, a level 80 druid with lousy equipment and low mana development, but high melee level. What was this idiot thinking? If you are going to get a magic support character the evasion or magic block and mana attributes are essential. Almost all of its set is bought and only complies with the visual aspect, a serious mistake when it comes to investing real money in a game. More if you're going to support a team during a competition, but I'm not surprised, all the pretty faces don't know how to put together a decent set. Although I must admit, there are exceptions to the rule.
If it weren't for the fact that she's the jerk's girlfriend who's been yelling at me into the microphone for half an hour, I highly doubt I'd be able to join a semi-professional esports team .
Since they are regional qualifiers, a replacement due to illness is usually allowed, of course, paying a penalty on the cash prize. Obviously if we lose my pay it will be much less than if we win, but honestly I need the money. I have a package of volumes of my favorite light novel waiting for me and that's motivation enough for us to pull off a little miracle.
"Derek, get your fat ass up to the pillar. I have an idea" – Since I could have forgotten, one of the advantages of a druid in this game, no matter how pathetic your set is, is the buff attributes that your main weapon has by default.
Luckily for me, this girl had left her initial equipment staff in the inventory. She left it tucked away among the other items because it seemed unsightly to her and she bought a prettier one, but completely useless.
The advantage of this type of weapon is that they level up at the same time as the character to whom it belongs. It's not like the weapons you buy from the in-game store that have predefined attributes and static attack level. No, this misunderstood beauty can make my abilities 25% more effective past level 70 and reduces the cooldown of a nearby target's passive abilities.
Derek's character is a warrior type, with a latent condition known as berserker . Upon reaching 25% of his total health, his attack and speed are doubled. Allowing him to reduce his critical damage to zero for 30 seconds. With a five second cooldown increase penalty on each of his abilities and lowering his defense points at the same time.
"I hope you have a good idea dwarf, because if we lose you must say goodbye to your pay" – There it goes again, this bastard gets on my nerves, but my plan will work if I take care of the execution times.
He is already within the range of the pillar, the two assassins have him within range and it seems that their captain is coming with them. A level 100 dwarf-type tank, those types of characters have high stamina and their abilities are powerful, but they have a worse cooldown compared to Derek's character's subclass.
"Alright dammits, take this. Arrrrgh " – Wow, how impulsive, so much damn energy drink is going to cause him high blood pressure in the short term, but I don't care, he's not my boyfriend, much less a relative for me to give a shit about his life.
As planned, the two assassins are chaining crits causing your life bar to drop rapidly. It's only a matter of seconds before his berserker ability activates and at that moment I start executing my passive ability.
"You know what happens to two mice walking into a snake's den, guys? Exactly what is going to happen to them at this moment" – The magic staff that our beloved pooch left stored in her inventory has a passive ability that only activates when reaching a level above 70: Lament of the Goddess.
Lament of the Goddess allows the caster to create a barrier that does not allow enemies to escape, while also causing the blessed target to recover health points with each effective attack landed on their target. Sort of like a leech , allowing the attacker to get stronger in a one way exhaustion fight.
"Take that motherfuckers, no one can beat Derek the Viking" – Oh wow , he did. He referred to himself in the third person. If it weren't for the fact that I know he has a girlfriend, I'd swear he's a virgin. But this kid clearly has eighth grade syndrome even though he's the same age as me.
"How is it possible for them to fall for that rookie trick. I'm going to go get your damn druid Derek" – Richard, the leader of the opposing team, got mad at me. Even though he and Derek are high school friends, they take these competitions seriously. Which is normal but I don't like to become the target of attacks.
There are five seconds left of the barrier's effectiveness and Derek is already with his life bar back to almost 25%. Berserker will no longer have support from the Goddess's Lament so he will not be able to recover hitpoints with the attacks he executes.
As soon as the barrier disappears I know that Richard will come at me with a direct physical attack and my character will die instantly. I have to be ready when that happens and cast my last healing rune on that idiot Derek. Everything will depend on him at that moment.
"Say goodbye you fucking idiot" – Now is the time, my last rune has already been cast. Everything that happens from this moment is no longer my responsibility.
" You are dead "- The screen has turned to grayscale, but I can still see the course of the fight clearly. Derek is attacking with his life bar at 100% and Richard barely has any attack health after that last impulsive move. It was a big mistake to attack me with such a powerful ability knowing that druids have low physical resistance. But it was to be expected in players who cannot control their emotions.
" Boooooyeaaaah , take this Richard" – Derek's jubilant shouts are so outrageous that they surpass the noise of the audience in the room. I can't blame him, after nearly being beaten by Richard's team, it's hardly a miracle that we were able to come back.
"The winners of the regional tournament of the California-Colorado circuit is the team The reappers " – Derek and the other guys jump around with their arms around each other as they yell at the announcer's result. On the other side of the tables, a really angry Richard just smashed his monitor with his fist in a frenzy.
His face is completely red and his features certainly give me a slight chill. He looked like someone who could kill whoever crossed his path at that moment. My legs started to shake a bit and I try to keep my composure in such a situation. I just want to get my pay and go to my apartment as soon as possible.
" Hitomi , are you listening to me? Damn geek girl , can't you hear me? - Derek's thick hand rested on my shoulder making me get out of that unpleasant trance, that brief incident didn't matter anymore, I just needed to continue a little more to get my part of the prize and get out of that dump.
Walking through the main hall towards the award ceremony, I felt how the eyes were resting on me as it always happens in the street. My tousled shoulder-length hair always looks battered, despite my name, my glasses have 7 diopters to make up for the fact that I'm like a mole. So you can get an idea that indeed, the nickname that Derek uses fits perfectly with my appearance: a geek .
"Before delivering the first place award, we would like to thank…" – I know that it is the job of a presenter to thank the sponsors, since they are the ones who are really paying for the prize, but I don't stop feeling uncomfortable before so many gazes
My hands won't stop sweating, so much so that I can feel my fingertips starting to soften, it's disgusting, but I can't control this anxiety. Outside of video games, I have never felt worth myself. Always labeled to the point that my own family is embarrassed to know about me.
"Now that I see you well, if you fixed your hair and changed your glasses you would look much better" – Oh my goodness, because Vargas is trying to be condescending. I can accept that comment from anyone except a guy who is a die-hard otaku oblivious to the world around him. Well, let's just give him a smile back so he's not annoying anymore.
Apparently he didn't like my reaction just now, but I don't care. It's not like I wanted a show of false affection. I'll just keep my composure a little while longer until this is all over.
"Thank you all very much for having participated in this great event" – The public ovation has marked the end of the ceremony, all that remains is to leave this place and each of us follow our own path. I only have to receive my pay and I can go home to lock myself in my room and continue with the quests that I left pending in Kings Battle .
" Hitomi , follow us. It's time to share the loot" – Speaking as if he were a true adventurer, there is no doubt that Derek does not know how to separate his emotions from the real world. But I'll let it go just because it's almost time to get my pay.
The venue where the tournament was held has a small cafeteria, it wouldn't hurt to eat a little since I skipped breakfast and lunch to get to the place on time. A burger that doesn't look anything like the promotional image and a small order of fries for $15 is outrageous, but I'm so hungry I don't care.
"Vargas, Jacob, Daniel, here is your part of the prize" – Finally, it's time. As soon as I get my money, I'll eat what's left of my burger and leave these louts behind.
"Okay guys, that's all. We'll see each other for the national rounds" - But what the hell! It must be a bad joke. Everyone got their share, but I'm still missing. It's one thing to endure the stress in the heat of competition, but I'm not going to back down when it comes to money.
"Wait Derek, our deal is that we would all receive equal shares if we won the competition" – I finally did it, my legs are shaking a little, but I'm not going to back down on it. If it wasn't for me this team wouldn't have even stood on the podium, I gave them the win despite their incompetence and lousy character swinging of their girlfriend.
"What are you talking about? Technically you used the character my girlfriend made to fight us. So the part of the prize belongs to her. Take this and say that it went well for you" – Daniel and Jacob were silently observing Derek as if they disapproved of his behavior, they knew perfectly well that the character that Derek's girlfriend had created was crap and I still made it work.
But even so, no one says anything, only Vargas with his mocking smile sips his soda while looking askance. I hope the bastard chokes on his burger.
On the floor of the store right at my feet are a pair of crumpled $10 bills. Only a fucking 20 bucks. Is all my effort reflected in a measly 20 dollars? It's barely enough to pay for a taxi to take me home. Damn I just want to go now.
"Damn virg-kingo " - I barely whispered those words as I bent down to pick up the money when Derek's foot violently crushed my right hand. The tears that flowed from my impotence were barely overshadowed by the cry of pain that I gave in the premises.
"Oops, I'm sorry, it seems that my foot accidentally crushed something" – His smile and the contemptuous expression that he directed towards me made a bit of my forgotten pride come out. I couldn't control myself anymore and I started insulting him until my throat hurt from so much that I forced it.
I've never liked raising my voice, maybe that's why my vocal cords seemed to almost tear at my anger and impotence.
What if I'm not pretty? Or if I don't have physical attractiveness? I am a fucking human being and no one should go through such humiliation. The local customers some whispered among themselves and others did not stop laughing as if he had told a joke.
That was annoying, before leaving that place I raised my middle finger against a client who was recording me with his cell phone. I didn't care if I uploaded it to the internet, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.
My hand kept throbbing as I walked straight home, I didn't want to take a taxi anymore. I just wanted to walk to clear my mind while listening to music. My tears didn't stop coming out, I honestly wanted to bury myself in my bed until the next day and not know anything else.
Walking under the light of the stars and the luminescence of the street lamps, the memories of my childhood came back to me with every step I took. When did it all go to hell?
My parents got divorced when I was barely five years old, my mom ran off with a guy she'd met online, leaving my dad and sister behind. I feel that this was the beginning of everything bad that has happened in my life.
My father worked like crazy trying to give my sister and I everything we needed. I rarely got to see him at home, except at night when he would come home tired from his chores and very reluctantly if we could have dinner together.
My sister Akemi was two years younger than me, so I played the role of the housewife to support my father. It was the least I could do for him, I felt sorry for so much pain he must have suffered when he was deceived by my mother. So she tried to wait up for him so she could have dinner with him.
We could barely talk a little, but it meant a lot to me. The time I spent with my father was so valuable, I almost can't believe that until two years ago he had to die of cancer.
Akemi went to live with my grandmother in Pennsylvania, while I stayed here in California to finish my studies at Berkeley. Thanks to a small pension that my father left me, I have been able to cover most of the living expenses. But I try to pay my tastes with occasional jobs, selling character accounts to users who don't want to bother with leveling up and, as you can see, doing this kind of service.
Make no mistake, it doesn't always end like this time, not every time I have to team up with beasts. But it often happens and one must be prepared for any eventuality.
I have finally arrived at my apartment, I just want to turn the key in the doorknob, but my fingers have twisted as soon as I tried to turn the key. Damn I have to go to a doctor tomorrow to get this taken care of.
"Honey, you've arrived" – Mrs. Yang is my landlady, a very sweet old lady who I usually help with maintenance work in the building and usually pays me with food. In a way it reminds me of my paternal grandmother and being a little greedy, it makes me feel for moments what it feels like to have a mother who cares about you.
"Mrs. Yang, yes, I'm here. Sorry for making noise, I'm going to sleep now" – I try to smile hiding that I have cried all the way. I don't want to worry her with my problems as I appreciate her very much. My problems are mine and no one else's.
"It's not good for a pretty young lady like you to hang out with those louts. Try to choose your friends better my princess" – The warmth of his hand brushing my cheek makes me shudder eager to receive that unconditional love for a long time. But I know that in a year I have to move since I finished my studies and finally I graduated with an engineering degree.
If only I could stop time, but I can't be impulsive. I am so close to fulfilling my dream as to lose the compass of my way.
"Wait, I have a gift for you. I think tomorrow is your birthday right?" -Holding a box in her hands, Mrs. Yang smiles sweetly at me as she begins to sing happy birthday. Tears roll down my cheeks from so much love, which is so bitter at the same time as my own family can barely remember to call me a day after the date.
I was never a bad sister to Akemi, but I don't know. Perhaps it is because we have distanced ourselves after our father's death, but his treatment of me is so cold that I don't know if he would cry when he found out that I died.
What the hell am I thinking right now? Mrs. Yang has gone to so much trouble to make this shitty day end well for me.
"Thank you very much for everything Mrs. Yang" - I could not contain myself and without thinking I gave my landlady a kiss on the forehead. His satisfied smile is something that would stay in my memory for a long time. Saying goodbye to her, I entered my apartment while I put my gift on the kitchen table.
Everyday routine after a long day, opening my fridge and getting a soda out of the fridge. Turn on my computer and leave the game applications loading on the virtualized desktops and turn on the heater pilot to go into the shower.
A bit of techno music and the warm mist from the shower is the best combination to combat fatigue and the bad moments of everyday life. Going through the messages on the answering machine while I take a shower, I can hear the demands of my thesis advisor who demands that I submit advances for the next week.
I have delayed it a bit because of the jobs and requests that I have to attend to these days, but I really need to get a lot of money if I want to achieve my short-term goal: my first car.
It doesn't need to be a convertible or a luxury car, I just want something that's mine. I have already spoken with the mayor of the university and he will sell me his '82 Renault, it is already a relic, but the gentleman has kept it in very good condition. Apparently he likes me and has made me a reduction in the price and if everything goes well, in two more payments he will give me the keys.
The music has stopped dead, the app seems to have crashed, and I'm still soaking wet in the shower. I have to dry myself if I want to continue playing, this is so annoying, but there is no alternative. I'm not going to pay for an application just to listen to streaming music .
When I pass in front of the mirror I can see that little tire that sticks out on my abdomen, I'm not fat, but it could be said that I'm a little bit outside my ideal weight. There will be time to do some exercise, not everything in life is online games and homework.
"Hey? It's funny, hadn't you put the gift box that Mrs. Yang gave me on the kitchen table?" – Suddenly the music in the playlist has been activated again, but the volume is so high that I quickly turned to modulate it.
"Wait a minute, who are you?" – Without my glasses I cannot clearly see the face of the person in front of me. Good God I'm so scared, I just tried to scream and this guy has put his hand over my mouth, violently pushing me against the wall while pressing a cold sharp object against my belly.
I am very afraid, my right hand does not respond to me and the grip of his hand is so strong that my jaw hurts.
" Shhh , don't make any noise unless you want the old lady to have a hard time" – That voice, I definitely recognize that voice: It's Richard. That damn psychopath followed me home and I didn't notice because I had my headphones on.
I am an idiot, I am always aware of my surroundings because it is dangerous for a woman to live alone in these areas. I'm so panicked that I can't react, he has me at his mercy and I don't even have the strength to face him.
The stench on his breath tells me he's been drinking. A sore loser is a sore loser no matter what field he operates in. This is what I get for attending that damn tournament, everything has gone wrong today. I only pray to heaven that my life is not in danger, as well as Mrs. Yang.
"Hehehe, you know I really enjoyed how Derek humiliated you in the cafeteria before you left. You looked so arrogant when we were at the tournament that I wanted to smash your face into the monitor" – My heart is beating so fast that I feel like this fucking bastard can tell with the palm of his hand.
Without giving me the slightest warning, a punch slammed into my abdomen, knocking the air out of me and knocking me to the floor of the room. Dad I'm so scared, I try to suck in air, but my body doesn't seem to respond while I'm on the floor in the fetal position. That unhappy man makes fun of me, while he takes out his cell phone and starts recording.
"Hey guys, this video is to prove to all you pretentious bitches that esports is a game for men. If you don't have the strength to respond in the real world, you are nothing" – Completely naked, I face the second humiliation of this long day. The kicks that this bastard drops on my already battered body feel like a mass of concrete colliding with me.
I feel like my bones have been broken and he doesn't stop hitting me, looking around the room he grabs my personal belongings and smashes them against my body. A PVC figure has been smashed into my skull, the base has cracked and I feel as if my mouth is tasting blood. I can barely see or hear, a hum ringing in my ears like strong static.
"But what do we have here? It's the gift that the old lady gave you, let's see, what's inside?" – Without any consideration, Richard stuck his knife against the lid of the cardboard box, mistreating the gift that Mrs. Yang had made.
"Ouro what? What geek shit is this?" – It can't be, Ouroboros was the light novel that I was thinking of buying myself with the money that I would earn from participating in the tournament. It's so hard to come by that I needed the $500 that poor bastard Derek had promised me. How hard will Mrs. Yang have struggled to raise that amount of money? The greatest gift anyone could have given me was in Richard's hands. Who, without any qualms, violently opened each volume while tearing the pages.
"Please stop now. I beg you, you won" – Stuttering with rage and pain, my wounds didn't seem to be worse than that barbaric act against the gift Mrs. Yang gave me. Someone whom I considered almost like a mother, had had such a gesture for someone like me, could not bear another second such disrespect for the efforts of a poor old woman.
"So you care a lot, don't you?" – Continuing to tear each page, Richard held me by the neck while he introduced the pieces of paper into my mouth. I felt how little by little the pieces of paper were clogging my throat until I almost suffocated.
His maniacal laugh was so terrifying, as I watched how he enjoyed watching my stifled face begging for some air. When he saw that I was about to faint, he took that piece of paper out of my mouth. The arching that he did trying to get air, were even more difficult because that wretch rested his knee against my chest.
I don't know how long that torture lasted, I lost track of time as I struggled to survive that torment.
"I think I've had enough of you" – Rising from me, Richard staggering from the euphoria of the moment and his blood alcohol levels, tripped against an incandescent lamp that fell right on the carpet.
Closing the door of my apartment with a bang, that beast was lost in the middle of the night while I was struggling to get up. It was then that, leaning on the bed, I could smell a trail of smoke coming from the room.
The incandescent lamp had started a fire by igniting the apartment's carpet. It only took a couple of minutes for the fire to cover everything, while I struggled to hold my breath in the face of the brutal punishment I had received and the smoke that saturated the air.
My legs do not respond, apparently the tibias are fractured due to the beating and every attempt to get up was a useless effort. How ironic? The meaning of Ouroboros is a snake that devours itself, exemplifying the endless cycle of futile effort.
I'm fed up, I can't continue. The fire has already reached my room and I begin to feel its searing power burning my skin. I try with all my might to yell for attention, but the sound of the music is so loud that it's to no avail.
Father, now that I am going to die, will I be able to see you once more? The fire has already surrounded everything, my body burns causing unbearable pain that I have never experienced before. My lungs are bursting and my eyes can't see anymore. Akemi, my sister, I hope you have a happy life. Please, I beg you, don't end up a loser like me.