Tatum lay stunned, steeped in the afterglow as if he were floating on a glittering cloud of sensation. But the cloud dispersed as Andrew eased out of his tender flesh.
He shifted and slipped out from under him, aware of all the places his untried body ached.
He'd been so careful, so cautious with Tatum. Despite his need. But his care and attention only terrified Tatum more.
Tatum'd been falling in love with him without admitting it to himself for two months. But there would be no escaping the truth now.
He grasped a towel from the warm tiles and wrapped it around his trembling body, but as he turned ready to run, Andrew caught his wrist and drew him round to face him.
Thank goodness he'd donned his wet trunks, but even so, the sight of him—so tall, so rugged, so scarred and yet so beautiful—had the mortification firing into Tatum's cheeks and the panic clawing at his throat.
"Where are you going?" he asked his tone as raw as Tatum felt.
"I…I need to shower," he said. Then I need to run.
Andrew was a billionaire. And he was his employee. But far worse than that, Andrew was a man who had been scarred by the trauma of his past. Trapped in his estate, desperate for human contact without even realizing it.
Tatum had insinuated himself into his life, revelled in his attention and the brooding intensity he could see lurking in his eyes. Tatum'd convinced himself he could rescue him when what he'd really been doing was taking advantage of him.
He nodded but didn't ease his grip. "Why did you let me take your virginity?"
"It's not important," he said, mortified now as well as guilty. How could he have assumed Andrew'd never guess when Tatum knew how observant he was? Then again, Tatum hadn't expected his first time to be anywhere near as overwhelming either.
"It matters to me," he said, the cynical edge making the guilt grow.
Tatum swallowed around the brutal lump of emotion. Then forced himself to tug his hand free. "I need a bit of time to myself."
Andrew studied him, the brutal combination of cynicism and suspicion in his gaze only crucifying him more—but doing nothing to douse the heat still pulsing at Tatum's core.
"I didn't use a condom," he said, his voice flat and remote, reminding Tatum of the man he'd met that first morning. "Are you using contraceptives?"
"I don't need to I am recessive and you didn't knot me, I can't be knotted without me being in heat and you in a rut, neither of those happened. Frantic now to get away—to shore up his defences—before his heart began to shatter.
He was that boy again—who had been sure his daddy would return until he didn't.
He'd rescued wild things because he wanted them to love him too. But they never did, they just needed him for a little while, and then he was forced to let them go. And then he'd missed them—until he found another wild thing to save. And he'd repeated that pattern again and again. Why had he never learned?
You can't make a wild thing love you—no matter how much you might love it back.
Andrew raked impatient fingers through his hair. And he saw the agitation, the penetrating, probing gaze—the wariness as vivid as it had ever been.
You brought this on yourself, Tatum, for believing in something that was never real.
"Go have your shower in my suite, then we'll talk," he said.
Tatum nodded and left him standing alone on the roof, knowing that talking wouldn't change the truth.
I am in love with Andrew Pearce and he doesn't love me, he made a mistake and so did I.
Andrew dived back into the cool water and swam—determined not to go to Tatum until he could get the painful emotions threatening to overwhelm him under control.
At least the exercise took the edge off the desire still pounding through his body.
But as he swam, the questions began to pile up. Why hadn't he demanded anything? Why hadn't he told him the price he would be forced to pay? And instead of calculation, why had he seen only panic and regret and the longing that matched his own?
And why couldn't he stop recalling all the ways over the last few weeks he had captivated him, all the things which had drawn him to Tatum, other than the sex?
He flipped into a turn and ploughed on. His muscles flexed and burned, the exercise energizing him but also clearing away the anger, the defensiveness, and the panic until all that was left was the connection he'd been so determined not to acknowledge.
Why didn't the thought of an unplanned pregnancy scare the crap out of him the way it should? In truth, it only made the need pulse in his chest all the more as he ate up the laps. The image of Tatum heavy with his child was so erotic, and so right, he could hardly bear it.
He had to talk to him, to work it all out.
Tatum was probably the only Omega he would ever want even though he was male they could have a family...
Even male Omegas could bear children, but would Tatum want him, a wreck of a man?
After the shower, Tatum found Andrew in the kitchen sipping coffee
Bzzzt bzzzt suddenly his phone rang
Dammit! Should I answer it?
I can wait, answer it.
Hold that thought, Tatum, don't you dare go anywhere.
The call was from Jonathan.
"Hey Mate!"
Yes
Is that any way to speak to your best friend of 30 years mate
No, not really but I'm busy
Sorry Mate, but drop what you're doing I'm 10 minutes from your estate, and I'm picking up you and Tatum for lunch.
What? Who said I'm ready to go out?
Tatum said you are doing great, she said you went to the market and to the local amusement park and you have even been talking to the garden crew, I'm sure you're sorry ass can come out to lunch with me for the 1st time in 10 years mate.
Aaargh! I have Dinner plans with Tatum and Greg Hallets family
So lunch with me is now, see you in 10.
Dammit, Jonathan now is not the time but, Fine. I'll tell Tatum to get ready, Are we going anywhere fancy or will shorts and a T-shirt do?
Nah! Man we going to a swanky place so dress up and tell the kid to dress up too.
Kid?
I meant Tatum, tell her to dress pretty.
Fine, fine see you now.
Swinging around to face Tatum, he saw he was still somewhat panicked.
Tatum, we will have to put this off till later, Jonathan is 10 minutes away and apparently, we are going to some restaurant, he said to tell you to dress pretty, seems you've been a tattle tale about what I've been up to!
Oh!
B-but this is important too.
I know, I get it but he is almost here, let's go to the damn restaurant and we can speak when we get back. Okay?
What about the dinner?
Fuck!! Okay, we can speak after Dinner with Greg. So pack another set of clothing we will dress at a hotel in town for dinner.
S-sure
I'll leave so you can put your clothes on, don't worry I am not angry I am actually grateful to you and your strange trait, so I would like to thank you properly.
Be back down in 30 minutes he can sit and wait while you get ready.
And, Tatum...
Yes?
Never mind… Andrew looked down at the floor he wanted to tell Tatum how he felt but he was too scared right now, they would have a proper conversation later.
He dashed up the stairs 2 at a time, leaving Tatum to stare after him.
Dammit, and it took all I had courage-wise just to come back down, will I be able to tell him later.
Why is Mr Down coming here I wonder?