I screwed up.

I screwed up big time. I knew I shouldn't have been doing it, but I just couldn't help myself. At the moment it just felt so good. I wasn't thinking about the consequences or what might happen after I was done.

Whatever, it's done now. I can't undo it, I can only keep going.

***

-1 Year Earlier-

"Elle! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been?"

"Sorry, Dee, I desperately needed some fresh air. I didn't mean to abandon you and Bina. Father has been up my arse about the ball tomorrow. I just don't understand how he thinks I can just pick a husband without even getting to know them beforehand."

"It's ok, Elle. I wish I could say I understand, but we all know your circumstances are different from mine and Sabina's. Why don't you walk back with me and maybe we can try to see if our gowns are done. You know if we don't, the head mistress will have your head. You wouldn't want to make your father any more upset, either."

"Don't tell me you have betrayed me too, Dee! You know I don't want to go to this stupid ball!"

"I'm sorry, babe, but have you even considered for even a moment, you might just meet your prince charming?"

"Pfft...prince charming? Really Dee? I think you've been reading too many fairytales. There's no such thing as prince charming or knights in shining armor. At least not here. Here it's a bunch of old men and their sons looking to get in my father's good graces and boost their status by marrying me."

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with the books I read! So what if they just so happen to be fairytales. you can't knock a girl for dreaming."

"I know, Dee. I'm sorry. Honestly, I wish I could be as optimistic as you."

"Well, you could always try! And you could try right now by coming inside and getting your gown fitted. Come on!"

As much as I hate it, she's right. "Alright, let's go." We headed back through the gardens and into the castle. My little time of solitude is now over.

Dee, her sister Bina, and I have been best friends our entire lives. Their father is my father's right hand man. And since my father is the king, that makes me the princess.

Upon entering the castle we are bombarded by the headmistress, Greta. Of course she starts to scold me, but I pay no attention to her as she rambles on about how I shouldn't be "neglecting" my duties as princess. Same old, same old. Sometimes, I wish I could do something, anything that I please, without the lecture from her afterwards. I mean, I understand it's her job and all, but my WORD! It's as if she has no other duties than to follow me around and nag.

Anyways, we're almost to the parlor in which our gowns are set up and the seamstresses are ready to treat us like pin cushions.

As we enter the room, I can see to the left is my other best friend, Candace Sabina Carter. Although, don't ever let her catch you calling her Candace. She hates it! She was named after some relative, but she was a mean and bitter old hag. So, we refer to her by her middle name, or Bina, for short. She's 18, with a tall, slender build. Her face is long and narrow with slim lips, but her eyes are round and doe-like. With long chestnut brown hair that's firmly done in an updo, she resembles her father. She has many suitors lined up ready to take her hand. I'm not sure she's interested in any of them, however. She has some time to decide though, since no one in our generation is allowed to marry until I do. It's tradition in our country to wait until the royal heir has been wed before their peers can be wed. Fortunately, the eldest of our generation is only 24, and I believe he's the one that will win Bina over and take her hand.

Dee on the other hand was born Haidee Lee Carter. She is only 16, but she's quite mature for her age. I mean, she kind of has to be since her father is the right hand. There is a bit mischievous to her though. She's made the perfect partner in crime through the years. Unlike her sister, she's a bit more curvy like her mother, with a long but rounder face. Her hair, however, is just like her sister's. She hasn't had to worry about suitors yet, but she definitely has a handful of them trying to woo her every chance they get. It's fun to watch her tease them and send them on menial tasks, but they keep coming back. I guess that says more about them, because if they can keep their affection for her while going through what she does to them, they've definitely earned her hand.

Looking around the room I notice three beautiful gowns laid out and two seamstresses fussing over the powder blue one for Bina. I guess she's already tried hers on. As they notice me walk into the room they immediately stop and greet me with a bow and a, "Your Highness." The older one motions for me to step forward and onto the stool. I suppose it's my turn. "Let's get this over with," I mumble to no one in particular.

I step onto the stool and they begin to undress me, and slip my gown on. It's dark purple, my favorite. I'm not entirely sure why, but it reminds me of my mother. Maybe it's because I'm beginning to look like a spitting image of her, or maybe it's because this gown resembles the same style my mother wore at her engagement ball to my father. Either way, the dress is beautiful and it hugs my body perfectly. It has a sweetheart neckline, and off the shoulder puffs as sleeves. The bodice hugs me down to the waist where it flares out into a very full skirt. The seamstresses did an excellent job. I wouldn't expect any less from them since they've worked their entire lives for the royal family.

"I don't believe we need to make any corrections, your Highness. It fits you perfectly, and it's ready for tomorrow night. You will surely be a show stopper as always," the seamstress states.

"Thank you, Rhea. You have really outdone yourself this time," I compliment as I look at her as she beams with pride.

She interjects, "You flatter me your Highness, but it wasn't me who designed it. I merely helped. It's Faye who you should be complimenting. I let her have the reins this time, and obviously she did not disappoint."

I glance over at Faye and then back into the mirror before me. "Is this true, Faye? Did you design this?" I catch her blushing gaze in the mirror as she avoids eye contact.

"Yes, your Highness. I did. If there is anything that displeases you, there is still time to change it."

"Nonsense, Faye. You are too modest. If anything, it's perfect, and I couldn't have imagined a better dress for tomorrow night. It reminds me of my mother. May she rest in peace."

"Thank you, your Highness. Your compliments mean everything to me, and I hoped it would. After all, it was your mother's dress that inspired me. She was an excellent queen, may she rest in peace."

With a solemn air about the room, the seamstresses removed the dress and redressed me.

"Your turn, Dee!" I announced as I made eye contact with her. She grinned as she stood on the stool. As she was being with her sage green dress I sat on the cushioned chair next to Sabina.

"I assume yours fits as well, Bina?"

"Of course, Rhea and Faye always do a wonderful job. How was your short escape from the head hunter, Greta?" she questioned with a sly smirk.

"It was refreshing, but I wish it was longer. I visited my mother and was about to head back when Dee found me." I stated. "I wish she could have been here."

"I know, I'm sorry Elle. She would be so proud of the young woman you have become. And she would certainly be gushing over that dress!" Sabina comforted while grasping my hands.

"Thanks, Bina. If it wasn't for you and Dee, I don't think I would have made it this far."

"Oh stop it. Don't talk like that," she scolded me. "You're strong just like your mother was, of course you would have pushed through. With or without us. Plus, you didn't have just us. You've had your father. You know he loves you dearly. Why else do you think he's giving YOU the choice of whom you are to wed, rather than picking the man himself?"

"Yes, yes, I know. It's just...how am I supposed to choose when I've never met any of them before? All I have is names and portraits."

Sabina looked at me with pity. I could tell she didn't envy me one bit. I may have the more beautiful gown and a crown, but they always come with a heavier burden.

"I'm sorry, dear. I can only imagine being in your position. But hey, who knows, maybe one of them will really catch your eye. You never know, and if they're anything like their portraits, you won't have to worry about their looks since they're all equally handsome. Especially Lennox, if you don't snatch him up, I just might." she said with a big grin.

"You are forever the flirt, Bina. I'm sure you will find a suitable suitor tomorrow too. Please promise me that you will try to find one with me as well. Please!" I begged her. I really didn't want to go through this on my own. Plus, us three did almost everything together. I really hoped she would agree.

"Actually," she grinned," our father has told us both to try and find suitors tomorrow night. So not only do I promise, so does Dee!"

"What do I promise?" Dee chimed in, now done with her fitting.

"To find a suitor tomorrow, of course. Father gave us explicit instructions to do so, and if we don't then surely he will be upset," answered Sabina.

Dee frowned, I knew she didn't like the idea. Especially not being given a choice on the matter. "Oh, right. Ugh, tell me why I have to participate in that again? I'm only sixteen! I still have at least two years until I have to marry." she groaned.

"Just because you still have time before you marry, doesn't mean you can't find a suitor now, Dee. Balls like this don't happen very often. Plus, do you want to feel left out when Elle and I are both engaged and spending time with our lovers?" Sabina pointed out.

I felt it was time for me to pitch in and asked, "Also, what is with all the negativity, Dee? Just before we came in here, you were all, 'oh, you never know, Elle, you might meet your prince charming,' What changed?"

"The fact that I'm being given no choice on the matter." she responded bitterly.

"No choice!?! HA! Dee, you are funny. You do have a choice. And it's picking out who you want to marry, be happy your father gave you that. Also, if you don't find a man you like, I'm sure you can just be honest with your father and tell him that you didn't find anyone. That's why he wants you to start looking now, so you're not in our position later where you're going to HAVE to pick someone."

"I'm sorry, you ladies are right. Especially you, Elle. I am acting a little hypocritical, aren't I?" Sabina and I both nodded at her and she sighed. "Okay, well, let's get out of here before the head hunter comes to try and send us off somewhere boring."

"And where do you have in mind?" Sabina asked, and Dee only grinned, taking off down the hall.