Things were still awkward between Cassian and Zemira. She no longer called him by his first name, she addressed him as, "My Lord" or "Sir Monterey". The closeness between the both of them was gone and it hurt the both of them.
Zemira solved her problem by crying her eyes out and also talking to the baby in her womb who would sometimes kick in response.
Cassian no longer stayed at home. He spent most of his days building an army for Soteria, and during the days he came back home, he would not speak a word to Zemira except the occasional "How is the baby doing?" to which Zemira would reply, "All goes well inside my womb".
It continued like that till the day Zelia came back from her travels, "Hello everyone!" she shouted as she walked into the manor, a small boy of about fourteen dragging her baggage behind her.
Gertrude came down from the stairs, "Oh my lady, how do you do?" she bowed but Zelia enveloped her in her arms, "Oh stop with the honorifics, Gertrude! We have known each other since my brothers and I were in napkins".
"What is going on?" Zemira asked as she came from the study. Zelia hugged her as much as her belly allowed her, "Oh how do you do, my darling sister-in-law? Looking ravishing as always" she winked then she looked at the landing of the stairs and gasped.
Zemira followed her eyes and saw Cassian in black trousers and a white button-up shirt which he had left the first three buttons open, with black braces. Her eyes went to his rolled up sleeves but then she looked away when he noticed her staring.
"Brother!" Zelia smiled and ran up the stairs then she jumped into his arms. Cassian spun her around, "How was your travelling?" he dropped her, "Let us discuss it over a light snack of butterscotch biscuits and tea" he said. "Ooh! I prefer lemonade" Zelia said as they walked away, with Zemira watching them. She just sighed and walked away.
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Zelia sipped her lemonade then she lounged in her chair and took in her environment. The smell of grass wafted the air as the servants trimmed the rose shrubs, servants loading supplies at the entrance of the kitchen and the giggling of the servant girls as they passed Zelia who flashed them a charming smile.
Zelia saw a shadow by a window and she raised her head and saw Zemira looking down at the both of them. When Zemira noticed that Zelia was looking at her, she closed the drapery
Zelia looked at Cassian, "Is there something going on between you and Zemira?" she asked and Cassian crossed his legs and took his teacup, "What makes you say that?" he sipped his tea and she shrugged, "Just a restless feeling" she said.
Cassian looked up at Zemira's window and he saw her putting on her bonnet. Where is she going to? he thought. "I heard Isander showed up at the king's meeting" Zelia said and Cassian looked at her, "How did it go?" she asked and he sighed, "Well...let me see..." he said as he tapped his chin.
"As a thank-you-for-coming gift, I received a throw to the wall which also earned me a really throbbing headache and blood spewing out of the back of my head. The little prince is still in a vegetative state and the peace treaty was signed. The heads of the rascals who pulled the "prank" as a gift to the king" Cassian stirred his tea.
"Wow! That was quite a meeting!" Zelia laughed and Cassian gulped his tea. Zemira came out of the house and entered a carriage. Zelia and Cassian's heads followed the carriage as it rolled out of the compound.
"There is definitely something going on between you and Zemira" Zelia looked at her brother who got up, "I have a meeting with the king. See you in the evening" he said and she took his biscuits and nibbled on one, "If you do not see me in the evening, just know I am at the bar with my fair dame" she called out as he walked away.
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Azrael let go of the arrow and it stabbed the red mark on the target. He heard the neighing of horses and he looked at the entrance of his compound and saw a carriage rolling in.
Azrael waited at the entrance of the manor then Zemira came out and he smiled, "Lady Monterey" he took her hand and kissed it. "May I know where my sister is?" she asked and she heard her name, "Zemy!"
They turned and saw Xylia running down the steps and when she got to Zemira, she hugged her, "Look at you, you look wonderful. I received your letter, let us go inside and talk" she held Zemira's hand then she looked at her husband, "And do not even think of eavesdropping!" she dragged Zemira.
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Cassian looked at the war strategy and shook his head, "Some troops should come in from the mountains" he tapped on some mountains on the map. Soteria looked at it for some time before he shrugged, "Why not charge in all at once?" he asked and Cassian looked at him, "And lose all our soldiers before the war can even begin?" "We have gathered more than a thousand soldiers. We have strength in our numbers" Soteria looked at the map, "We may have strength in numbers, but Isander has more strength in his mind".
"Are you admitting he is stronger than you?" Soteria asked and Cassian clenched his jaw, "Well he is definitely not weak. I'd say we are on par but his mind powers makes him a tad stronger" he said and Soteria nodded, "You are right. His mind powers are extraordinary".
Soteria rubbed his eyes and Cassian looked at him, "You have not been sleeping well, have you?" he asked and Soteria chuckled, "I dare not catch a wink when my son lies in a vegetative state" he said and Cassian patted his shoulder soothingly, "We will get that antidote".
Soteria sighed and rubbed his nape, "How is the queen?" Cassian asked "She stays at his bedside all day. Every morning and evening, she bathes him and puts clean clothes on him, then she has a long chat about what she would like to do with him when he wakes up. It is really taking a toll on her mental health. How is Zemira?"
Cassian looked away. She was not fine. Every night, he stayed at her room door and whenever he heard her soft sobs, his chest tightened. It hurt that he was the cause of those tears. Even in the morning, he would see dark circles under her swollen eyes but he could not talk about it to her. But why was Soteria asking about her wellbeing? Was there something he was missing?
"Why do you ask about the wellbeing of my wife?" Cassian asked and Soteria stood up straight, "She is pregnant. I was just asking how the pregnancy was" "Oh!" Cassian rubbed his nape. He felt embarrassed that he had thought otherwise when Soteria had asked after Zemira.
"Is there something else I should be asking about? Something concerning a certain love that is not being reciprocated?" Soteria raised a brow amusingly and Cassian looked at him. "How did you know?" he asked and Soteria chuckled and slapped Cassian's shoulder, "Think about the living, Cassie" he said as he walked away.
Cassian stared at him as he walked away. Perhaps something was going on between them.
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"I cry every night, hating myself for telling him about my feelings" Zemira cried to her sister who patted her hand. "Why did I have to tell him? Now he does not talk to me, we do not bicker about things. He just acts so formal towards me" Zemira sniffled as she held her lilac handkerchief up to her nose.
"Do not be sorry for loving someone, Zemy" Xylia said and Zemira looked at her, all teary-eyed. Xylia sighed, how was she going to comfort her? She could not relate to what her sister was going through. When she had met Azrael, it was love at first sight. They both found each other attractive and comfortable to be with and then after some time of courting, they tied the knot.
"Ugh!" Xylia groaned and rolled her eyes. Ivar! Yes! Their older brother could relate very well. He had been in a similar situation. His marriage was arranged too, but he did not have a dead wife and he and his betrothed did not hate each other, the way Zemira and Cassian did when they had first gotten married.
"Take Ivar and Oralie for instance. They were just like you and Cassian, but their love paved way for a blooming marriage" Xylia said, hoping it would comfort her sniffling sister.
Zemira burst out in laughter. Was she seriously laughing after Xylia had racked her brain for suitable comfort words? "Are you laughing?" Xylia was dumbfounded and Zemira cleaned the tears that were coming out of her eyes, "You are an idiot!" Zemira smiled.
Well, as long as she has stopped crying, Xylia thought as she laughed alongside with Zemira. Suddenly, the door burst open and Azrael stepped into the room, "You really are terrible at comforting people" he said and Xylia furrowed her brows as she got up, "So you were eavesdropping" she said as she walked to him.
He held her in his arms and planted a quick kiss on her lips. It made Zemira remember Cassian's kiss. Azrael wrapped his hand around Xylia's waist while her hand rested on his chest, "Cassian loves you Zemira. He is just caught up in the past. Do not worry, he will soon get over his nincompoopery" Azrael said and Zemira nodded.
Azrael looked at the woman in his arms, "Now, if you would excuse me, I have some business with your sister and I apologize if she can not escort you out" he pinched Xylia's waist and she giggled.
"Oh, I understand!" Zemira smiled and the couple walked out of the greenhouse. She looked at around the house. She had never been a fan of flowers except lilies. But as she gazed around the greenhouse full of roses, poppies, dandelions, bluebells, daisies, sunflowers, daffodils and many other flowers, she found herself falling in love with flowers. Her eyes jammed a bunch of lilies growing in a flower bed. Surely her sister would not miss a few flowers.
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Zemira alighted from the carriage and she saw Cassian coming down from Gerta. She took a deep breath and walked to him, "My Lord" she bowed and she saw his jaw clench. "Where have you been?" he blurted out. That was new. Since things have been awkward and tense between the both of them and "Where have you been?" was not a question they asked each other.
"What I meant was, who did you go out to meet? No, that is not right either. Did you meet with any man? No, that is not---" Zemira burst into laughter and Cassian's heart was warmed. He missed that sound.
Cassian was grateful he was dark else she would have seen the blush in his cheeks. "I went to visit my sister, my lord and I got you these!" Zemira said and handed the bouquet of lilies to him.
She had arranged it the same way he had arranged the flowers he had given her. He took it from her and looked at her, "You do know that it is the man who ought to bring flowers for the woman" "It is also the man who ought to woo the woman, but here I am...wooing you" she smiled.
Cassian's heart started racing when she said that and smiled. He cleared his throat, "You do know that my heart..." "Belongs to another woman. That does not change the fact that I still love you" she smiled and walked inside.
Cassian stared at her then at the flowers in his hands and he smiled.
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Cassian loosened the rope on his robe then he called out, "Is anyone there?" a servant boy ran in and looked away quickly, "Is my sister up in her room?" he asked the servant who shook his head, "She left the house after you went out" "Do you know where she has gone?" Cassian asked and the servant bowed, "I am but a servant, my lord".
"What about Gertrude?" Cassian asked "She went out to get supplies" "Supplies?" Cassian looked at the servant who bowed his head, "That was what she had told us, my lord". Cassian looked back at the bath and sighed, "You may go" he said and the servant left.
Cassian looked at the water drawn for his bath and sighed. Perhaps today was the day he got over his fear. He dipped his hand into the water. Lukewarm. Just the way she liked it, Cassian thought and took off his robe then he dipped his feet and then his whole body.
The memories began to flood in; the first time Nola slipped in the bath with him, with her hands on his breasts, their kisses in the bath, Nola splashing water on him and him grabbing her hands and putting it over her head and kissing her, them having sex multiple times in the bath.
He tried to fill his head with other memories but those ones stuck in his head. He submerged himself completely in the water as he tried to drown those memories, then the most painful ones came in; him scooping water in his palm and pouring it on her swollen belly and then kissing it. He had killed his own baby when he had stabbed her.
He let out a breath and then he could not breathe. He struggled for air as he tried to come out but it was as if there was an invisible force holding him down. He trashed around as he gasped for breath then he saw a hand reaching out to him and pulling him out.
"Cassian!" Zemira gasped as Cassian gasped for breath. "Cassian" she whispered and her hand moved to his wet, black hair. He did not flinch back, instead, he hugged her, wetting her pale pink bodice.
Zemira was shocked, then she felt him trembling. Is this why he does not bathe alone? she thought as her hands went to his back, hugging him.
Cassian let go of her and gazed in her brown eyes then his hands went to her black curls and he slowly caressed her face. She leaned into his touch and pressed a kiss to his palm. "Bathe with me" he said in a whisper.
Zemira raised her head from his palm and stared into his eyes. There was no trace of laughter on his face. He was dead serious. He wanted her to bathe with him.
She slowly nodded and he smiled slightly. She got up from her knees and sat on the bath, her back to him. His fingers loosened the ribbons on her bodice and he slowly removed her sleeves from her shoulders and she shuddered as a cool breeze hit her bare skin.
He lowered her sleeves and she got up from the bath and her dress fell to the floor. Cassian's eyes widened. He was seeing all of her; her ample and full breasts, the stretch marks on her swollen belly and her thighs, her body which had gotten bigger due to his baby...their baby.
Zemira had never felt ugly since she had gotten bigger, but now that she was under Cassian's watchful eyes, she felt like a pig. She was about to turn away but he held her wrist, "Do not feel inferior, Zemy. You are beautiful, even with those stretch marks and your body" he said and pulled her towards the bath.
She slipped behind him, into the bath and she gasped. Cassian's back was full of scars. How many wars had he gone to? she thought and scooped water in her hands then she poured it on his back and ran her fingers on his scars then she kissed every single one.
Cassian arched his back and closed his eyes as he felt her lips on his skin. She took the wash-ball and rubbed it on his back in a circular motion, creating much foam. Her hands went to his hair and she scrubbed it, earning a throaty groan from his mouth.
Suds flew around the bathroom which was drowned in lavender as Zemira's hands slided down Cassian's soapy arms. When she was about to raise her hands from his wrists, he grabbed her hand, "Let me wash you as well" he looked at her over his shoulder.
Zemira nodded then Cassian took the wash-ball and she turned around, her back facing him. He moved closer to her and she sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, "I have not even laid a finger on you" Cassian chuckled and her face burned bright red.
Cassian slowly rubbed the wash-ball on her back and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He kissed her neck and rubbed the wash-ball on her chest and then her breasts. His hand moved to her big belly and he whispered in her ears, "Turn around, let me have a better view of you".
She raised her head from his shoulder and turned around then he rubbed her belly. He scooped water in his palm and poured it on her belly, then he rubbed the water evenly on it.
He stared at the stretch marks on her belly and around her waist. They made her belly look so beautiful. He had never got to see stretch marks on Nola because she was just three weeks pregnant when she had died.
Zemira covered her belly with her hand and Cassian looked at her, "I had told you that you look beautiful with these stretch marks, so why do you still cover your beauty? Or do you just like hearing me compliment on your beauty?" he asked. Zemira hesitated for a while before she reluctantly removed her hands from her belly.
Cassian kissed it and trailed kisses from her belly, to her chest, stopping to place kisses on her full breasts. Zemira moaned when she felt his lips on her breasts.
Cassian's eyes remained in Zemira's lips then he leaned closer to her. Her eyes flickered down to his lips then back to his eyes. "Cassian, what are you---" she was asking but Cassian smashed his lips on hers.
His hands cupped her face and he pulled her closer till she was practically on his lap.
Their tongues danced around each other and then Zemira bit Cassian's lip, to which he moaned to. Her hands went to his back as she pressed her lips against his more.
Cassian removed his lips from hers and she brushed her lips against his. "Do not ever leave me, Zemira" he murmured against her lips, "If you do, I might die". Her hands moved to his face and then she kissed his forehead, "You are going to get so tired of me because I will never leave you. I will grow old with you and watch our children grow up, and then they will get married and we shall have grandchildren, and even when we are old, I promise you, I will not die before you, you will not die before me. We will die together...with our fingers intertwined, like this..." she interlocked her fingers between his and raised their hands up.
"I love you, Cassian Monterey" she said and kissed him. His hands dropped to her waist as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.
She had promised to never leave him, so he was going to do best to not leave her. He squeezed her hand gently as they continued kissing.