[VICTORIA'S POV]
"O-Ouch," I moaned softly into the air. I closed my eyes after pulling the needle out of my right arm.
I heard Doc Wendell's little laugh. "We've done this countless times, Victoria. And yet you're still not used to it?" he asked in disbelief. When I opened my eyes, our vision met. Earlier, he was still staring at me.
I mean, Doc Wendell used to stare at me all the time I had a session with him. I don't know if he stared at his other patients the way he stared at me.
I have this feeling inside me that... — well, I don't want to reveal it because I'm not sure.
I nodded weakly and tried to smile to cover the pain I felt. "Sort of, doc. Even though the needle has passed through your finger, it still hurts," I explained.
He shook his head with a smile. "You know what, Victoria," he stopped speaking. He threw the used syringe at me and took a clean band aid and put it on the part of my arm where he was going to stick the syringe.
"Pain makes people stronger," he looked directly into my eyes again. Doc Wendell is handsome. He is my doctor for my hormone replacement therapy. Currently, Doc Wendell just finished giving me an estrogen shot.
We have the same skin color. Also, smooth and white. His eyes narrowed. There's also a six pack — I only saw it one time when he got dressed in front of me.
Besides, he is kind, straight and dapper to look at.
I looked at my leg because a mosquito bit me. But for some unknown reason, Doc Wendell grabbed my chin and made me look up. He removed the hair covering my face and tucked it behind my left ear.
"Among all people, you should know better about pain, Victoria," he reminded me. I looked away from him and nodded weakly. "Y-Yes, doc," I stammered.
I clutched my handheld bag after reminiscing what I've been through. The life that I live, the life of being a transgender is a path that seeks dedication, perseverance, and most of all, an unfathomable strength.
Doc Wendell stuck out his tongue causing me to look into his black eyes again. "It's just Wendell, isn't it?" He shook himself weakly again as he let go of my chin.
We both laughed softly.
"I prefer calling you, Doc Wendell, because you're already professional," I answered.
"If we were at the orphanage right now, I might have scared you, Victoria," he said with a laugh.
Yes, you've read it correctly. Wendell and I grew up in the orphan. Wendell is five years older than me. I am 23 years old now and he is 28.
He was first adopted by a wealthy couple who could not produce children. His parents were both known doctors here in our city.
I was really surprised because his biggest ambition was to become a neurologist. Wendell is a nerd, and he is obsessed with gore movies and incisions and operations on the head.
"Why?" I laughed at him, after looking back at our colorful childhood days. Wendell and I are best of friends. I thought we would never meet again because of those who adopted us, but here we are, best friends for life.
"It would be unprofessional to show up in your clinic and address you with your birthname, doc," I added. Wendell fell silent. It was only now that I realized that he was staring directly into my eyes again as if digging into the depths of my being.
"Would it be unprofessional if your doctor would kiss you in his clinic?"
"Huh?"
I was stoned in my seat. Wendell's eyes were closed as our lips met. When he started to move his lips and forced his tongue inside my lips, I pushed him gently away from me.
"W-Wendell," I called his name with a look of shock on my face. "What are you doing!" I asked while wiping my lips with the back of my palm.
Wendel scoffed. "Are you numb, Victoria?" My lips parted a little because of his question and my eyebrows came together.
"Don't tell me that you don't feel that I'm looking at you?" he asked seriously.
"W-Wendell," I stuttered calling his name. "Hi-I don't know,"
"Fuck," he cursed softly in the air and slapped his face. "Haven't it ever crossed your mind why I took this course? I wanted to be your doctor because I want to take care of you, Victoria. I am the only man who will accept and love you completely." He revealed.
And this time, it was me who fell silent.
Seriously, I wasn't expecting to hear those words from him. Not just words, but merely a confession.
Doc Wendell took my hand and kissed its knuckles. "If you're still having hard times decoding it, what I'm trying to say is that you are special to me, Victoria. I want to take care of you and wake up with you every morning next to me in my bed,"
"But Wendell, I have a lot of respect for you, and I love you — but not the way you love me," his shoulders slumped in frustration. His black eyes were filled with sadness.
"I don't want us to get to the point of falling in love and then ending up in divorce,"
"We won't!" his groin. "Vi-Victoria, we won't. Promise, we won't fight and if it happens, I'll be the one to humble myself and we'll fix it right away! Please," he pleaded again.
I shook my head and held both his hands. "No, Wendell. I'm sorry. You are the only one I can consider my family. So, I don't want us to get to the point where —"
"Victoria, please hear me out. We won't fight —"
"Wendell, stop," I declared in a calm tone. "I look up to you as my older brother. And forever, you will always be. So, please, Wendell," I held his jaw and with my thumb I gently stroked his beard.
"You said I will always be your little girl, right?" I added. He didn't answer and avoided looking at me. I understood and came to him and hugged him.
"Please, don't get mad at me, Wen-Wen," I called him by his nickname when we were still at the orphanage. I didn't see the rise of his Adam's apple. I will remember from then on when he was nervous.
"S-Stop calling me, Wen-Wen, Victoria," he ordered while tasting. "We're not kids anymore," he added.
"But I will always be your little girl, right?" I teased again.
"Victoria, stop,"
He took a deep breath and stood up from his seat. "You can visit next week, every Friday for your estrogen shot, Victoria," he turned his back on me and returned to his desk while sitting in his swivel chair.
I followed him but he didn't even glance at me.
"Close the door when you leave. My next appointment would be in a minute from now,"