Meeting the prince of Cross was worse than I had imagined. He was darker than I thought. More sinister and twisted. He tried to rob me of my innocence before the wedding that is tomorrow. Has he no shame? We were sent there to meet and get to know each other; not to do something utterly unholy. I feel disgusted with him and myself. I never thought that there was power in something so... unholy. He had a strong pull over me and it immediately clouded my judgment.
Hera, my maid of honor, sat beside me. She's my closest friend and ally, and the closest thing I have to a sister. Unlike me who had long black hair and black eyes, she possessed a set of beautiful green eyes and brown, straight hair. She was a true beauty, and I don't think anyone could compare. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Damien decides to take her as his mistress.
"Did you perform the deed?" she asked, touching the bruise on my collarbone. "Was he really what they say he is? Good at... that?"
I blushed, pushing her hand away. Yes, he was good at what he was doing. He was so good that I lost sight of what was happening.
"You shouldn't listen to such rumors, Hera," I said.
She smirked, saying, "Don't be such a hypocrite, Angelique! You listen to gossip as much as I do. So, tell me. Is he good or not?"
"You see the mark on my collarbone, do you not?" I said, covering it up with a pillow. Such embarrassment. Even my own family was speechless when I arrived home earlier this evening. They could care less. The sooner I got pregnant, the more relieved they will be.
"I suppose he is, judging by the look on your face," she teased. She handed me an envelope containing a letter from Prince Jonah of Polaris.
Jonah is a man of honor and my best friend. He has ash-brown hair and brown doe eyes. He's built like a prince and he has no appetite for violence. He's basically my rock and the person who makes me "better."
He is opposed to the idea of my marriage to Prince Damien. Only he shares my displeasure regarding the match my parents made.
"Won't you open it?" Hera asks, looking rather worried. "You can tell me all about Damien after you read the letter. Perhaps his words will bring you comfort."
"What difference does it make?" I asked, "We both know that he'll try to convince me out of it. He wants me to abandon my duty as the princess of White. All he has is talk and no action. His words may bring me comfort, but they won't give me a solution." I proceeded to open the letter and the scent of peach and tea filled the air. Jonah has a love for peach teas, so naturally, the aroma of his drink lingered with him; even his letters.
To Princess Angelique,
It is with great sadness and admiration for your strength that I write this to you. I know that you have made up your mind about this. My reasoning and words will not sway you. I understand. You have a duty to your kingdom.
You have been my best friend for a long time now. It pains me that there's nothing I can do to get you out of this situation. You're right. All I have is talk and no action. I would offer you my hand in marriage, but we both know that you wouldn't accept it.
Prince Damien is a force that can easily break you, my dear friend. Everyone knows that he is a rake and leaves women brokenhearted wherever he went. You may call me a hypocrite for listening to such gossip, but we both know that the rumors are true. He is a monster, Angelique. You may be the strongest woman in the world, but you will not stand a chance against him. Yes, you have defeated him in the battle of Whitefields, but that doesn't make you stronger than him. I know I sound like the worst person to you right now, but you know what I mean. You are strong and unbreakable, but he will break you down. I am not saying these things to sway you from your duty. I am saying this because I'm looking out for you. You are my friend and I love you as a brother would love his sister.
I will be at your wedding tomorrow to show you my support. Should you feel the need to turn back, or feel like you can't bear being there, I will be waiting for you, ready to help you make your escape. It may not be a solution, but it can be a brief escape until you figure out what it is you plan to do.
Your Best Friend,
Prince Jonah of Polaris
"He meant every word," Hera says, taking the letter from my hands. "He deeply cares about you, Angelique. He offered you marriage?"
I nodded in response. "He did," I said, "But that was after our families discussed the possibility of my union with Damien Cross. He was greatly opposed to it. The minute we were dismissed, he brought me to the garden and bent down on one knee. The next thing I knew, he was proposing to me with his mother's ring. Not romantic at all."
She smiled, saying, "He must've been planning to propose to you for a while now, Angelique. There's no other reason for him to have his mother's ring in his pocket. He isn't courting anyone. The only woman he's been with is you."
Hera was right. I am the only person Jonah was seen with. But I don't see that as a reason for him to want to propose to me. I know better than to assume. Jonah will never be attracted to me. I am no more than a sister to him and he a brother to me. If anything, I would be glad to see him with Hera. I know how much she fancies him. They both come from great families. They would be a perfect match.
"I know you love him, Hera," I said, holding her shoulders, "You can't keep that from me. Do not worry. I will not take him up on his offer. I would be happy to see you with him any day. In fact, I think he fancies you too; he just fails to see it now."
She sighed, changing the topic, "So tell me more about Damien then. I am dying to know everything. Was he as hot as the day you defeated him in battle?"
"He was hotter in battle," I said, "But today was different. He was dark and twisted. He had a sinister smile and a dark aura around him. Sure, he is greatly handsome. The way he talked and carried himself is as though another person has taken over his body. He was sexy in more ways than one."
She bit her lip, eager to know more.
"We argued and the next thing I knew, his lips crashed into mine," I told her. Telling her this feels like reliving what had just happened. It's like he still lingered in me.
"Your first kiss," she said, covering her mouth in shock. "His reputation precedes him. Not a word about him was out of a lie, huh? He dared touch you before your wedding."
"It's what our parents would've wanted anyway," I say exasperatedly, "They would like to know whether or not I'm fertile. In fact, they wanted us to do the deed earlier than today. They wish me to have an heir ready in my oven."
"That's a disgusting way to put it," she says, cringing at the thought. "Did you do it? Did you and the prince create a child?"
I turned red as the blood rushed down my cheeks. This is so embarrassing. But I know that talking about it now is better than being bugged about it a million times.
"No," I said, "We did not! How could you even suggest that? Do you think I'm some girl who would bend that easily? Hera!"
She smiled sheepishly. "Well, you do have a bruise on your collarbone of all places," she points out, "And you said he kissed you. What else is there to think?"
"We didn't do it," I clarified, "But he did... give me pleasure. He said it was some kind of payback for giving him a scar."
"Pleasure?" she asked.
"I don't know how to explain it, Hera," I say, "It was different. His touch, his breath, his voice—they gave me pleasure. The way he touched me and kissed me... I felt so lost in his touch."
"Ecstasy," she says, "I heard it feels like ecstasy. The maids talk often and I heard about it. They say the kind of pleasure they give you feels like ecstasy. And you can lose sight of what's happening and be lost in the feeling."
"Exactly that," I say, "It's like he took over my body. I felt so helpless. I wanted to push him off me, but my body refused to do so. It's like I wanted him to touch me, but at the same time, I don't. I loathe him, and I let him touch me!"
"Power," she says, "If you can learn from him, you may have power over him. There's nothing you can't learn, Angelique. If you master the art, you can tame him and bend him to your will."
Hera had a point, but I wouldn't consider it. I will not engage in such activities with Damien Cross. Even now, it disgusts me. I could still feel him all over me like a parasite.
"You're full of talk," I said, pinching her nose. "I don't want him."
"I do," she says jokingly, "The rest of the world finds him a dream come true. The ladies he left crying—those whose reputations are tarnished—claim they'd do it again if they could. For sure, tomorrow night will be a night you won't be able to forget. You are pure after all, and he is a stud. Imagine how excruciating it would be!"
Excruciating—that's the word the ladies seem to describe their first time. Knowing he wants revenge, he'll make the night as painful as it can get. I don't know much about these things, but I know enough. He is a rake and he knows what he's doing—that—whether I admit it or not—scares me a little. They say I should be overjoyed to be marrying Damien Cross, the sexiest man alive! But Damien and I loathe each other, and he made it very clear that our marriage is nothing but a treaty—as it should be.
"Gee, Hera," I said chillingly, "How could you say that to me? I can't wait to scare you when you decide to get married!"
She snickered. "I didn't mean to scare you," she says, "But imagine it. For certain, he is a great lover."
"Hera, he will make it excruciating for me," I said, "He made it clear that he wants revenge for what I did in the battle of Whitefields. I will be done for."
"Perhaps Jonah's offer isn't that bad if you think Damien will destroy you," she says, patting my shoulder. "I wouldn't resent you if you decide to take him up on his offer. I know Jonah's a saint; he wouldn't hurt you. We don't know if he's as good a lover as Damien, though."
"You're shameless," I said, feeling embarrassed at the topic, "Can we not talk about this? I don't want to talk about Jonah's manhood; thank you."
She grinned. "Alright," she says, "But I know you've thought about it. Every woman has."
I hid under the cover, refusing to talk any longer. Today's already been one hell of a ride. I need a good night's sleep before the horrors of tomorrow unfold. My greatest nightmare will come alive.