Oh My Fucking Lord. I am kissing for the first time in my life. With Vincent. His hand is strictly put on my waist while his other hand is on my cheek as his lips mould with mine. I don’t know what I need to do, but I stay put with my eyes closed as I make minimal movements with my lips. I put one of my hands on his suit as the other one wrapped around his neck.
How did we even get into this position?
We had just stepped out of the car and before I knew it we were standing so close to one another that I could’ve sworn that he could hear my heartbeat. I can’t believe that we are doing this.
“I am sorry if I surprised you.” He says. My head falls against his chest as he holds me close to him. Why do I feel so happy? Why do I feel so in love? This evening was so perfect, he is the ultimate perfect boyfriend. I can’t believe how happy I am.
“You did it the best way.”I say. He cradles me closer to his chest as we stand in front of our hotel.
“Pandora, will you be my girlfriend?” mY heart just exploded, I feel it. All those hopeless dreams of him and I together in the future now have a chance to become true. I stand in shock before him as he has now lowered his face so he can see my facial expression, at the moment I just have my mouth open as if I would want to say something. I do, I am just at a loss of words.
“You can say no, if you-”
“Yes. Yes. I will be your girlfriend Vincent.” I interrupted him. His facial expression changes and his face collapses in my neck laughing. I can feel the vibrations of his laughter travelling under my skin.
“I will love you forever.”
A week later
We are everywhere. Me and Vincent. On every magazine on every billboard on every television on every channel. I even seem to grow tired of my own face but never of Vincents’. A day after he asked me to be his girlfriend everyone found out that we were an item. Well it was hard to miss as we held hands and kissed behind the scenes. I can’t describe how happy I am. Everyday when I see Vincent standing in front of my door to pick me up so we can go together to breakfast I feel like my heart just grows weaker and weaker till it will implode.
But now that everyone knows about us, the paparazzi is worse than ever. They always knew where our hotel was, but yesterday they found their way in and even took pictures of our hallways and dining rooms. Thank the lord that we were shooting scenes so we weren’t in our rooms, but what could’ve happened still scares me. Vincent has comforted me by saying things like ‘I will make sure that no one will ever touch you.’ Possessive? Very much. The cute, innocent guy that pestered me for the few days that I arrived here is gone. Now it is just a man protecting its prey. Me. And I am here for it.
Now.
I want to disappear into fucking thin air. The strapless purple dress clings to my body like it was painted on me. I take a few deep breaths as my fingers go over the soft fabric. Is it strange that I want to cry? I was at my happiest when I was falling in love with Vincent and when I was with Vincent. Now those memories are floating back onto the surface and I feel like I am that same fifteen to sixteen year old girl again.
“It is time.” I hear the fake bitch order me. Who did she think she is again?
I step out of the dressing room and my two body guards immediately follow me to the shooting scene. I feel strongly aware of myself and somehow it bothers me. This last shooting round will be in the gardens.
As I step inside the outside all eyes are on me, some just looking at me in a passing moment, some in jealousy, some in awe, some in hatred (like the fake bitch).
The eyes that burn are Vincents. A woman is talking to him as she fixes his hair but he pays her no mind as his gaze travels over my skin. My eyes meet his and all memories seem to come as if they had disappeared. All the kisses, all the I Love You’s, all the forgotten promises. We seem to stare at one another for a moment as the arrogant girl pushes me to the shoot. I stay on both my feet and give her a glance.
“He isn’t interested in you, get a grip woman.” Did she just literally say that to my face?
“He doesn’t even look at you little girl, so the last thing you should do is be jealous.” I don’t say anything more as I walk to the scene. Here we go then.
I stand next to Vincent, his eyes are still burning.
“Pandora, you look absolutely breathtaking.” The photographer says nicely. All of a sudden I feel Vincent tense up beside me. Now that I stand beside Vincent, really stand beside him and study him, I know that he is attractive and incredibly huge, but I notice how small I am. How I could be simply crushed by him if he would lie on me. Where are these thoughts going? Into the gutter.
“For these shoots I want you to act like a couple, as these will be pictures used for the series you are currently acting in.” Wow that makes it even worse.
“We are going to start with Vincent sitting on that chair there,” The photographer points to a chair that looks more like a throne. “Vincent you will be sitting there like a King, legs spread, arms spread, Pandora you will be sitting on one of his thighs while you have your gaze on him.” Well fuck me.