"Sowon, what happened is that I fell in love and you didn't even show up to answer if you would accept my confession… You never thought I was serious in that letter?!"
I heard that and my heart was beating so fast.
My entire school life magically flashed through my mind.
I even remembered the tragic day I spilled milk on my uniform and got completely soaked. So shameful... Well, it really wasn't without reason that the school forbade us to start in the classroom, as punishment I was forced to spend almost a month cleaning the room every day before finally being able to go home.
Yes, if I remember correctly... Jung-ah always waited patiently for me so we could go to the subway station together.
She lived in the opposite direction and still accompanied me.
Well, the beautiful and sweet Jung-ah appeared before my eyes, the teenage cliché of the cute and beautiful transfer girl that everyone wanted... Yes, I really can't deny that seeing her was like refreshing my heart after a difficult summer.
She only differentiated in our third year, while the rest of the group differentiated in the first year... Everyone took a chance that Jung-ah would be a beautiful and sweet omega since she always looked so delicate and kind.
Well, it really was a shock to see that one day she appeared as an alpha and next to her there was a sweet smell of wild strawberry.
My main memories from high school involve her and I don't know how to say it differently... If there was a letter I would really know about her.
How could I just ignore my best friend's letter? Impossible.
I could still vividly remember the slow-motion world and smiling Jung-ah walking through our classroom door for the first time… Like a beautiful and gentle princess.
There would even be wind fluttering her hair and dramatic entrance music... The protagonist was among us.
And as if it couldn't be more preordained the teacher even asked her to sit next to me and I shared my math book with her. Do you believe? Well, I don't believe it myself, how do you believe it?
I have to say, I almost got her expelled on the first day of school, but that's a story for another day... After all, she got so mad that she wouldn't face me for an entire week!
Anyway, impossible, the more I thought about it the more I was sure I couldn't think of a letter coming from Jung-ah.
I stared into the sweet eyes of the woman before me and felt embarrassed, did she always look at me so graciously? I think so.
It just makes my heart heavy, how could I be so blind? Did she always like me that way?!
I couldn't look her in the eyes, my heart was filled with shame.
"I didn't receive any letter… I swear I didn't… Eun-mi and Min-ji can prove what I say!"
I heard a sigh and it made my heart skip a few beats and mostly it beat like crazy when I felt her lean against my body. A loving embrace without any trace of malice.
"Does your heart beat that fast because you're scared or because you're falling in love with me?"
Heavens. Jung-ah shut up!
"Hm? I want an answer, not only to my confession but also to my question."
I'm pretty sure I was about to have a heart attack.
Put it on my tombstone that Jung-ah was the reason I died!
I could feel my legs weak, I felt like I had two sticks instead of legs. So embarrassing. "Maybe both of them."
"When we get out of this bathroom are we going to remain just friends or are you up for it?"
For a few seconds I remembered about the world that awaited us, so many people were friendly to us and it was impossible to say that it wouldn't be a surprise if overnight we started a relationship.
Well, we're still two alphas, it's not like they accept that without any kind of questioning in their hearts.
But as much as I was afraid, afraid of the world and afraid of what I didn't know... Jung-ah was so familiar and so sweet, I felt like I was about to melt with love for this woman.
I always loved her, maybe not the same way, but I always had her in my heart.
Loving her in other ways isn't a bad deal, right? I believe I won at life.
Every day being able to love and learn to love Jung-ah seems like the best choice I can make.
I know, this romance is so fast, let me be happy... My psychologist says we should love calmly and enjoy every second... Well, I love with anxiety, looking more desperately for the seconds to come.
Am I really the only one like this?
Think with me:
If we were in a movie 120 minutes doesn't seem like much, we would need to speed up our heartbeats and live intensely, after all it's not like I haven't known her for so many years.
May the world explode! We're going to make a romantic comedy happen and nobody's going to stop us, whether it's the hunter or the evil witch.
Or much less Deth Veider... Well, we should protect ourselves from usage rights even if it's just loose words in my head.
Well, I don't want to be too radical, we are not in a science fiction story, but in a sweet and beautiful romance with some small accidents and accidents, after all, life is what it is.
If the world really explodes will I transmigrate or into a parallel universe? I don't think I can live so easily away from my foursome.
Without them I'm not much and without Jung-ah I think I'll be less happy.
Although I really love stories of rebirth and transmigration I am in a universe where this is not palpable... Well, I guess, but I don't intend to die just to check... You also stay healthy.
I get lost a lot in my daydreams, my psychologist says this is really problematic and this diary is also an attempt to organize my thoughts.
You're understanding me? I do not. I got lost here.
Well, Jung-ah like the bright and radiant emerald of my life, came like a flash of lightning and here we are about to get married.
Of course, just missing that.
After all, she is so serious that I really think she thinks about dating... But isn't that a lot? At the time I didn't know what to say and just nodded.
I think.
I don't know.
See for yourself.
"Are you willing?"
Help! My mind was blank.
She's so beautiful, how can I deny something? Honey, ask me anything and I'll obey on my knees!
An alpha completely hostage to her beloved's will.
Sure these thoughts are taking me two chapters? Three? Who knows... But I didn't have much more than a few seconds to think about it!
I was nervous, don't judge me! "Willing?"
Her radiant smile just made me feel very much like staring at a star and I was about to go blind with such radiance... So bright!
"Yes… When we get out of here I won't ignore you or have bad thoughts about past hurts… I can't be mad at you for long, but I really don't just want your friendship."
I was completely surrendered at that moment, I don't even know how I still remember those words... Maybe I made it up for the emotion of the moment, if I was hallucinating I'm sure that the kiss that followed was real and made me wake up to life.
"I'm willing... But let's take it slow."
It was all very emotional, my legs couldn't support me anymore, my heart was like a drum and my glands felt like they were about to make fried rice.
Me and Jung-ah intertwined our fingers and finally walked out of the bathroom... I must say it was a bit embarrassing to see the queue waiting for the two of us to come out... I apologize to everyone involved, you don't know how happy I was at that time.
Maybe they knew, I imagine the pheromone tangle that Jung-ah and I left inside that bathroom... Just thinking about it makes me feel hot.
Finally we returned to our proper places and shyly Jung-ah asked to change places with Minji and after years we were sitting next to each other.
Everyone noticed the drastic changes in our behavior, but the alcohol made them not think too much about it.
But cameos always seemed to happen for a dramatic charge.
One of the organizers of that meeting was subtly asking everyone about their current life occupations and it was impossible to tell that there wasn't a palpable curiosity about how Jung-ah was doing.
"And you Jung-ah? Rumors were that you were going to marry a rich omega and left to live abroad."
Although she spoke with a certain tone of joke and mockery, she clearly treated it as just rumors, but I, as a protagonist, noticed all the lines! Mainly that despite Jung-ah's sweet smile she was just being polite.
Which made me realize that the rumors might be... the truth.
My brain seems to fry just thinking about it.
Heavens! A dramatic break is needed!
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