Sometimes, I feel as though women are just flowers. We're chosen depending on the person's preference for our appearance. We are cherished so long as we're comely but tossed aside when we started to wither.
The only purpose of a flower is either for decoration or to show beauty and nothing more.
As I lean on the window, looking at the people, I can see a few women inside their houses either trying their best to stay beautiful or simply obeying what the man of the house wishes. A complete disregard for our ability in bringing life to this world.
It got me thinking. If I were to stay here at this time, I'd end up like one of them. Stuck to become a homemaker and expected to do nothing else but be subordinate. Am I even prepared to give up all my interest in history to become the woman of this century just for a man?
As I bring the iris to my eyes, still leaning on the window I began to ask myself. If by some miracle, I did find the answers to all of my questions, will I stay or will I go? Suddenly the wind picks up, blowing the flower out of my hand. Before it falls to the ground, I saw Botticelli walking in the street.
For some reason, he looks up and our eyes meet. I smiled and waved at him in instinct. I thought he would simply ignore me like he's been doing for the last few days but he miraculously smiled. The sweet smile I have longed to see. Then I felt relieved.
Walking in the street, I couldn't help but look at the people around me. Perhaps I'm hoping to see a familiar face but found none. Not knowing where to go, I decided to stop by the bridge.
The last time I went to Ponte Vecchio, there are jewelers, art dealers, and souvenir sellers occupying the shop. Seeing the spot hundreds of years prior is a different setting.
The place is loud and busy. Filled with farmers, tanners, and butchers. Not wanting to be in a loud and crowded area, I decided to go by the banks instead. Sitting down on the grassy banks of Arno, I found peace despite the distant noise from the bridge.
As the water flows beautifully, I couldn't help but fish out the key from my pocket and study the bow once again. Despite having no corners, the square shape is evident if you look closely.
Sighing in defeat, I look up and try to clear my head. Hoping that I'd remember something from doing so.
When I look back down I noticed someone sitting a few meters from me. Judging by his hands alone, I could tell who he is. I stood up, place the key in my pocket, and walked toward him. "Hello," I said when I reached him. Still sitting, he looks up, his light brown eyes looking into mine. "May I join you?"
"Of course," Botticelli said, giving me room by his side. I sat down as gracefully as I could as I look at the papers scattered on his lap.
"You're sketching," I said, stating the obvious. "It's the first time I see you sketch something other than a person." I continued as I look at his sketch of what seemed to be the Ponte Vecchio bridge.
He chuckles. "Yes, well I was not exactly planning on sketching anything other than what I think I'm good at if it weren't for Leonardo's snide comments about my work."
"D-did you say, Leonardo? As in Leonardo Da Vinci?" I said, hiding my surprise the best that I can.
He looks at me with confusion then nodded. "Yes, well I did not realize he's already famous given that he has not been able to finish any of his portraits."
"No, he's not quite as famous as you are at the moment but he will." Just like you. "I didn't know that you two are familiar with each other."
"We met 6 years ago as pupils of master Verrochio." He said, looking in the distance. "Despite his awful remarks on the chosen subjects of my paintings, we agree on other things. Among them is owning an inn."
I smile at the revelation. In all of the books I've read about him and Da Vinci, I've never thought of them as friends. I know they are opposites in terms of painting but knowing they are close friends somehow surprises and amuses me. "You are going to start an inn?" I repeated.
"Yes, actually it's over there." He said, pointing past Ponte Vecchio.
When I look back at his face, a smug appears on his face which makes me laugh. "That's a lovely investment. I see you're very satisfied with your plans. I'm happy for you." I said as I nudge his arm.
We were silent for a while, looking at the river when I noticed his gaze switch back toward me. As much as I want to look back, I willed myself not to. Afraid that if I did, I might ignite feelings I try so hard to ignore.
"Antonia..." He said in a very low whisper-like manner. The way he calls my name makes me feel as if I'm being pulled closer to him. When I look up at his light brown orbs, his face softens. "I—"
He was cut short by someone calling his name. Both of us look over our shoulders to see two men coming toward us. One is Giuliano and the other is a man I do not know. His hair is long, reaching his shoulders and his face is shaven neatly just like Botticelli.
The unknown man waves at us with enthusiasm. When they reached us, Giuliano's smile slowly disappears. "Forgive me. I didn't realize you're with such lovely company." He said, eyeing me with a playful look.
Botticelli then sighs then stands up. He was about to offer help when Giuliano stretched out his hands toward me. I reluctantly take his hands and he helps me stand.
His smile reemerges. "Antonia, this is Leonardo Da Vinci," Botticelli said, gesturing towards the man. "Leonardo, this is Antonia Gorini. Madonna Cattaneo's niece."
Da Vinci then took my hand and kiss the back of it then smiles. "It's a pleasure, Madonna." He said in a rather flirtatious manner. Botticelli then nudges his friend with his papers. That only made Da Vinci laughs then gently let go of my hand.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here," Giuliano said, switching his glance from me to Botticelli.
"I found myself without anything to do so I decided to walk around the city to pass the time, then I saw Botticelli here," I said, trying not to look at Botticelli. Why am I acting as if I am guilty of something?
Berating myself in my head for what I have just done, I forced a smile towards Giuliano who still eyes us suspiciously. If he were thinking of something, he didn't say anything.
"I was just telling my friend of my plans for the inn." Botticelli chimed in. Giuliano only nodded. "Which reminds me, aren't you supposed to be at Tre Rane by now?" He asks Da Vinci. Three Frogs? An odd name for an inn.
The younger painter chuckles nervously before responding. "Yes, well my friend Giuliano was just helping me with some matters." He said, now eyeing Giuliano who only shakes his head.
Botticelli's brows furrow in exasperation. "What did you do?"
Da Vinci sighs and then rolls his eyes. "I would like to not speak of it in public if you don't mind, friend." He said in a whisper, emphasizing the latter word.
Botticelli then massages his temples in annoyance. "Alright. I think it's best we get going to the inn. Would you like to accompany us, Antonia?" He asks with so much hope in his eyes.
I smiled and was about to say yes when Giuliano spoke. "Antonia agreed to come with me now that I'm back." I did send him a letter accepting his invitation. Somehow, the tension was palpable. Both Da Vinci and I are unable to say anything.
"Oh yes, I did agree to that," I said, smiling. "Best of luck to your business venture, Botticelli," I said, touching his shoulder and smiling apologetically before looking at Giuliano whose gaze lingers still on the painter. "Now, what surprises you have in store for me, Messer?" I said cheerfully, hoping that it will break the uncomfortable situation.
When he looks down at me, he finally graces me with a charming smile before holding my hands. "Yes, come with me."
As we walk away, I look over my shoulder one last time at the two painters going the other way, catching a glimpse of Botticelli looking back at me.
He links my arms to him, leading me to the plaza. When we get to the fountain, someone holding a few tomes came into view. He gestures towards it with a proud smile before he speaks.
"I wasn't able to bring you along in Rome so I took a few manuscripts with me for you. I know your interest in reading them."
My mouth opens in surprise. Giuliano was able to procure these tomes from Rome for me and I cannot believe my eyes. "Oh my, I wasn't expecting you to do this," I said, still gaping at the totems. "How are you able to pull this off?"
His grin grew wider before responding. "We are the bank of the Pope. I was able to pull a few strings." He said, whispering the last sentence and then winking at me.
Still, in awe, I wasn't able to contain myself from hugging him in gratitude. "Oh my, thank you so much!" I said. Realizing what I had done, I quickly retracted my arms only to be stopped by Giuliano who is now hugging back me tighter.
"Anything for you." When we both let go, his face lingers closer to my face making my heart race.
I decided to look away and walk closer to the tomes instead. Hugging him was quite scandalous and I feel a tiny regret. "Which Roman scribes are these?" I ask, diverting my mind from my actions.
"Tacitus, Dio Cassius, and Suetonius. I figured those were the particular scribes you wanted to read."
"Yes, indeed I am. This is all too much though."
"As I said, Antonia. Anything for you." His words hold a promise that I know he will always uphold. I know I shouldn't but it somehow flatters me. "I will have them sent to your home right away." He then nodded toward the man carrying the heavy tomes, making him walk away. "Forgive me it took a while before I was able to get to you."
"It's quite alright. What sort of help Da Vinci is talking about anyway, if you don't mind me asking?" I ask as we sat down by the fountain.
"Four men were charged for sodomy. Two of them are a relative of mine and Da Vinci. I helped dropped the charges."
I nodded, remembering that it was one of the reasons why Da Vinci was considered homosexual because of the accusation. "I see. That was generous of you." This only reminds me of the influence the Medici has over the city.
"Yes, well I just hope they wouldn't do it again next time."
"Next time?" I repeated, not wanting to believe the accusations. "Do you truly believe they've done what was accused of?"
Giuliano shrugged. "I'm not sure. Either way, my brother wouldn't like it if we have to do it again for sure."
"I'm certain they have learned their lesson," I said with a smile, hoping to make his smile appear again.
As I have hoped, he smiled at me before his hands make their way towards mine and envelopes it and say, "You're a joy to be around, Antonia." The unexpected statement made my cheeks burn. "I must admit that I'm earnestly needing your company each day." He said, rendering me speechless. "I like you."
His straightforward attitude has taken me aback. How can I tell him that it is too early to conclude such feelings when he's done an incredible gesture towards me?
Not knowing what else to say and not wanting to lie, I relied on my gut. "Don't you think it's too early for you to say such a thing?"
He then brings my hands to his lips and kisses them gently. "No. I'm fairly certain of my feelings for you. I have never been taken like this by any other woman."
"That's bold of you, Giuliano but I think you should know more about me before declaring your feelings."
He brings our hands down as his thumb gently rubs my hand. "Then I will learn everything about you if I must."
I have heard these words before. I ended up being left out like I didn't matter. Learning from my mistakes, I smiled and said, "I need you to show me, Giuliano. Words are easy to utter."
With determination in his eyes, he nodded his head yes. "Then I will show you as much as I can to prove that I'm deserving of your interest."