When I woke up this morning, I was still debating whether to tell them about my family or not and then when I decided that I had to tell them, I was still confused about exactly how to bring it up to her. I am worried about her reaction, I am worried that she'll be angry and call it off. I don't really want to go through it, I don't really want to lose her but I know that I have to tell about it anyway. Because, let's be honest, my family is one of the most important part of my life and now she's gonna be the most important person of my life. So, she have to meet them, know them.
When I went to my closet I was wondering about which shirt to put on, if I knew which shirt she likes the most on me then I would have put it on. Like in my case, if she put on that purple dress and ask me for anything, I would give it to her regardless of anything. Just like if I knew which shirt or attire she likes on me the most then I would wear it today before telling her about it.
"Maybe I'll go with lavender", I said to myself as I took the lavender shirt out of the closet.
I drove my Porsche all the way to her dormitory. I waited a minute or two until I saw her walk towards me, wearing a purple bouffont with white boundaries. I swear she's litellary looking so gorgeous. She literally knows how to make the simplest dress beautiful. But shit!! It's purple, she looks simply so gorgeous in this dress that she takes my breath away. My god!! What did I do to deserve her?
She came closer to me and looked in between us, it looked like a couple dress. She's wearing purple with white and I'm wearing lavender shirt with a white jacket. I tried my best to hide my smile and my butterflying heart and the blush. But she saw right through me, right at the moment she looked at me. I was looking down at the ground, she tilted her head and looked up at my eyes and gave a shy smile.
"We look as if we are twining", she said, attempting to look into my eyes. She moved her face from one side to another, still trying to meet my eyes.
I raised my head trying to avoid her gaze also to take a moment to hide my feelings before I could look into her eyes.
"Yeah? But it's in different colors", I said to her. And how stupid of me, I only now noticed that she isn't wearing any warm clothes, not even a jumper.
"And where's your jumper? It's really cold. You'll be freezing", I added.
"Don't worry, I've brought a shawl with me. It'll be enough", she said reassuring me.
"Are you sure? Trust me you wouldn't want to be sick later on. Because if you are sick then the wedding will be delayed. And I'm afraid none of your guests have enough time to wait", I said to her as we both motioned towards the car. I opened up the door for her.
"I know!! Stop lecturing. Trust me, listening to your lecture as the first thing in the morning isn't something I want either", she said with a scoff at she rolled her eyes.
"Okay", I said raising my hand in surrender. I mean it's a fact that I can't win against her.
A few minutes passed in complete silence. I saw her motioning towards me a couple of times, as if trying to break the ice. But then something pulled her back.
"You do know that you are being awfully quiet today? I mean, I know you, and you are definitely not like this. At least not when we are alone like this", she said, and she honestly sounded concerned.
"Nothing, just didn't get much sleep last night", I said as I looked at her to assure her. But her eyes told me, she didn't believe me even a bit. But she didn't prove me liar right away, rather she kept quiet.
"Really? I didn't either. My friends kept me up last night for so long. They wanted me to choose this, choose that", she said rolling her eyes.
"Why does it sounds like as if you aren't upset with it rather you are happy", I said as I stopped the car at the red light. I turned to look at her. She didn't say anything, just gave a chuckle with a shrug. I looked at her face, it's so pretty, her jawline looks extra pretty today.
"You wanted to take me somewhere today, right?" she asked looking sideways at me all on a sudden. But then she gradually turned to look at me. I was still hesitating about how to bring up that topic to her, so her question kinda skipped my mind. And I forgot to reply, she stared at my side profile for a while and then she turned and looked out of the window.
"Lam, I need to tell you something", I said as I stopped the car at the drive way of the inn.
"Yeah?"
"Can you promise that nothing's gonna change between us no matter what I say right now?" I asked her, quietly praying that she won't let go of me. Her hand was holding the door frame but when I said this, her hand moved to her lap and she looked at me with a serious face.
"What is it? You didn't cheat on me, did you?", all she said.
"What? No!!" I replied being taken aback by her.
"Then, I promise nothing will change", she replied and in her eyes I could see the reassurement she wanted me to see. I felt a little comfortable by that, I felt like, yeah, I can open up to her.
"It's about my family",
"You don't need to tell me if you are not prepared yet. I mean you don't look like you are ready for it",
"Thank you for understanding but I need to tell you this"
"You know it's fine... I", I stopped her by covering her mouth. I know she means well but I have to tell her now otherwise it'll be too late.
"It's about my family, umm... My parents", I took a few deep breath. I don't know why but I just can't seem to bring myself to tell it to her.
Maybe she also noticed the hesitation in me and that's why in order to distract me she said, "Can I hold your hand?"
And honestly her tricked worked. I was actually distracted from what I was doing. For a moment I had almost forgotten what I was about to say
Only her words were ringing inside my head.
"Don't get me wrong, I just want to see how it would look when you hold my hand. My hypothesis is, it'll look as if you are holding a baby's hand. Because you have a giant hand", she quickly added with a chuckle.
I hold out my hand infront of her. For her to hold it, she puts her hand on mine and then looks at me, "It doesn't look so bad. Would you mind if I interlock the fingers?"
Before I could respond to her, she interlocked her fingers with mine. She was really hesitant to do it though. I can't believe how far she's going to make me feel at ease. And to be honest, our interlocked fingers look really good. I'm sure that I'm gonna hold her hand like this a lot after we get married.
"Lam, my parents are alive", I let out as I thought it would be best to say now before it gets too late. As she heard it, her grip on our hands loosen up, but I hold it real tight this time, otherwise she might have ran away. She took a few moments to process it. Actually more than a few moments. A lot longer than a few moments.
Around 6 minutes later she said, "W wow...!! That's.. That's great", she sounded so pretentious. But I understand.
"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier", I said being honestly apologetic. She looked at my eyes for a moment. Then her eyes fell down to my face. Then she closed her eyes, as if to collect herself.
"Raidan, I'm honestly happy for you. You wouldn't believe all the thoughts I had in my head ever since we decided to get married. I thought you were an orphan, so you didn't get the love of family and that's why I was thinking.... Anyways, now I don't need to overthink. I'm really happy for you. And I won't ask why you lied because I'm sure you had a reason", she said totally composing herself.