Today is a happy and lovely day. My cousin, who is five years older than me, just get married with her partner. In front of the altar, Livhia who was wearing a gorgeous white dress, linked her fingers tightly in Ephnor's hand, who was wearing a shiny black suit. The bishop walked up to them, stood in front of them, then he raised the links of their hands to chest level. His mouth recited a prayer for a few moments. After that, he asked the couple to take a sacred oath.
The garden where it was transformed into a party venue looks blinding, reflecting various ornaments in white, sky blue, and pink. I stood in a corner with my hand holding a slender-legged glass filled with lemon juice. Next to me, Livhia's younger sister, Ghenina, had a twinkle in her eyes while occasionally smiling at her sister.
"I hope my Skaebn shows up soon so that I don't have to keep staring at them with envious glances."
The Skaebn that Ghenina refers to is a symbol that signifies when God has brought us together as each other's soul mate. A belief as well as a reality that has been directly experienced by those who have been married and have a life partner.
Skaebn is an abstract ancient symbol that can only be seen by God-ordained couples in a single bond. The position in which it occurs is always on a part of the body that can be easily seen, for example on the arm or in the area around the face.
According to its function, Skaebn does not appear since birth and only appears when the two meet in the same place and time, as a marker that a person has met their destiny.
From Livhia, I knew that these Skaebn symbols were more like pieces of images that when viewed simultaneously (between the symbols on Livhia's and Ephnor's) would form a whole image. But if I compare Livhia's story with what I've heard from my parents, the shape of this Skaebn has a different shape for each couple. It's just that the similarity lies in the abstract image, not in a form or image that can be clearly interpreted.
"Maybe God still wants to test your patience, Nina," I said. That sentence successfully made her turn her head and look at me with a resentful expression, but I just chuckled.
"Holy moly, Lorein! Don't you want to quickly find out who your soul mate is?"
To Ghenina's question, I could only reply with a faint smile without say anything. I looked straight back at the altar, looking at the happy couple who now had a new status as husband and wife. I'm glad to see Livhia happy with Ephnor, but if the situation turns on me and I have to choose ... I dont know.
Compared to my other cousins, I am the most active person who loves her work. My work in the finance department kept me busy from morning until evening. Unlike Livhia who can benefit herself from her hobby of creating beautiful dresses, or Ghenina who helps her mother concoct medicinal herbs. My job is too time-consuming to give me a little space to think about a life partner or life after having my own family.
My job does take up a lot of time and energy, but it appears that my workaholic side is taking over, so that when my Skaebn appears in an unexpected place one day, I think I will not be easily distracted. I always go outside wearing long-sleeved clothes, high collars that cover my neck, and long skirts that reach my ankles. This Skaebn can only be seen by people who also have the same symbol as me (meaning he is my partner), but still, I always wander outside with clothes that cover my body.
Is this a sign that I am not ready yet to accept the appearance of my fate?
I once told Livia about it, but she did not give a definite answer to the doubts in my mind. My cousin, whom I considered my own sister, asked me to understand more about myself. About what I really want, she said.
And until this day, I'm still looking for the answer. Wondering to myself what kind of happiness I want to get. But ... a week had passed since Livhia's wedding and I still hadn't received an answer to that question. I'm still busy drowning myself in work. Sometimes, I indulge myself by wandering around the department where I worked, which was located not far from the center of government and where the Archduke's resting place was located.
This afternoon, after finishing all the work an hour earlier than usual, I chose not to go straight home. Not far from the department building, I once found a lake that protruded slightly into the hilly area. It is not very spacious in size but the water is turquoise and the surface seems calm. Mosses and other aquatic plants grow on its banks.
I sat by the lake's edge, on a bed of dry grass, letting the afternoon breeze blow my hair.
"Hmmm hmm hmmm …."
In my head, I suddenly remembered the chant that my mother often sang when I was a child. A simple song she made herself about the story of a little girl and a duck. At that time, I didn't understand the lyrics that Mom sang, but when I think about it again, the little girl and the duckling have something in common because they want to always look beautiful and elegant in their own way. Mom was so good at picking and playing with words, and putting in a little humor that I laughed when I remembered the lyrics again.
The rustling of the leaves distracted my focus. This time, the rustling sound was supplemented by the sound of trampled leaves. I turned my head, sharpening my eyesight toward the densely growing trees, just in case.
"Ah."
That voice came out a split second after a well-built man dressed in all black, knee-high boots, and a rumpled towel around his neck appeared. His short dark hair allowed me to clearly see the scars that stretched from his temples to under his eyes. We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, before he finally ventured to step out from behind the bushes and trees.
"It's rare that I see anyone here." He spoke in a low but clear voice. His eyes stared at me intensely, then he turned to look around like he was looking for someone else's whereabouts. "You're not lost, are you?"
I hurriedly shook my head. "No, of course. This is my second time here ... and I also didn't expect anyone else to be here today."
Although the man didn't seem suspicious at all, I found the way he looked at me a bit strange. Without giving a suspicious movement as if I wanted to run away from him, I stood up and asked for a retreat because the sky seemed to be getting dark. Before I could hear his voice for one more time, I stepped as fast as I could without looking back.
○○○
"Lorrein."
A head peeked out from behind my open bedroom door. His light brown bangs swung slowly as his head moved, pushing the door open a little wider.
"Lynton, what's wrong? Can't you see I'm tired?"
That man slowly pushed the door even wider and entered my room without permission. As if still not satisfied, he threw his big body over my bed, sat cross-legged while supporting his chin, looked at me. I could only sigh.
"What?" I asked at Lynton's reflection in the mirror. That man just shrugged his shoulders. "Don't make me confused, Lyn. Once you entered my room without permission, you were never this quiet before."
He snort. "You too. Every time you go back home, you always have something to tell me about this and that. But why is it not there today?"
Still with my back to Lynton, I unbuttoned the shirts one by one, took it off and let the remaining loose piece of white shirt cover my upper body. I put my dirty shirt into the basket, while looking at him with raised eyebrows. "It's because I feel more tired than usual."
"That's it?"
"That's it," I nod. I walked back to the mirror, trying to straighten my long wavy hair, but my intention stopped when my eyes caught a strange appearance in one part of my body, precisely between the shoulders and the base of my neck. "Huh ...?"
"What?"
I don't care about Lynton's voice. My eyes still couldn't escape from the gray abstract symbol that somehow appeared on my body. My eyes widened, but I couldn't do anything because I realized Lynton was still in my room.
"Lorry, what's wrong?" asked Lynton again. From the corner of my eye, I could see Lynton walking up to me and standing beside me. He stared at my reflection in the mirror. "What are you looking at? Your Skaebn showed up?"
My eyes suddenly widened when I heard that word coming out of Lynton's mouth. With lightning-fast movements, I inched away from the mirror, standing face to face with Lynton who was five inches taller than me. The curious gaze of his eyes made me reflexively take my eyes off him, then rush to the closet to get my clothes.
Lynton sighs while I pretend to be busy choosing clothes in my closet. My position with my back turned on him made me not know what kind of expression he was showing right now.
"You treated me like a neighbor who just moved in yesterday afternoon, although we've been together since we were in our mother's womb."
I kept my mouth shut. Although I felt little guilt toward him, I am also confused as to what I should tell him.
"I think you need to take a shower and freshen up your body and mind," Lynton said again, pulling up a chair behind my desk and sitting there. "I'll wait for you to calm down and talk. But if you still don't want to, I'll force you."
Normally, I would be angry because I hate being forced to do anything I won't do. But for today, I just chuckled in response to his words.
Finally after my body felt refreshed after a shower, I started to tell him about my ignorance at the appearance of this mark on my body. Lynton stared intensely at my body I pointed to where I saw the symbol, even though I knew he couldn't see anything there. In silence, he listened to everything I said.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, poking his index finger in the direction I had pointed as the position of the symbol. I shook my head because it felt like nothing had changed. I didn't even notice when the symbol appeared.
"Then," my twin brother folded both hands over the back of the chair, looking at me fixedly. "Who is that man?"
"Huh ...?"
Lynton nodded. "Your partner. A man with the same sign as you. You know, if the mark appeared on your body, it means that man also had it just when you two met in the same place and time. That's the condition. Don't tell me you forgot about it?"
Impossible if I said I didn't know or even forgot about it. Such basic knowledge as that is given from the first year at the academy. Sometimes my parents tell me that too. How can I forget it?
However, I chose to remain silent, not answering Lynton's question. There are many people I met today, from morning to evening, on the road and at my workplace. Everyone I met looked ordinary and didn't leave any impression or—
"What? You don't like that guy? But you know, isn't it, your partner can't be anyone other than the one you've been destined for."
I exhaled furiously while combing my hair which covered my eyes. "That's not it, Lyn. I was even surprised when I realized this symbol had appeared a while ago. I didn't feel anything and didn't even know how long this mark had been around, but what was clear is that this symbol indeed recently appeared. The point is, I don't have any evidence. I'm clueless."
"No. You have proof. You just can't get it."
I stared at him. Not a word came out of our mouths afterwards. There was only a two-way gaze that was equally piercing, persevering with each other's egos.
"Try to recall the faces you met today," he said, breaking our eye contact. "You may indeed not feel anything strange, but perhaps you remember one of those people whom for some reason you cannot forget, even if it is just a person who happened to pass by on the street."
I flinch. My throat is blocked. I don't want to admit. I want to strongly deny that.
While I was closing my eyes tightly, I tried to brush off the flash of memory from a few hours ago at the lake.
"Sorry, I'm putting too much pressure on you." I gasped and looked slowly up at Lynton who pressed his back against the edge of the wooden table. "Get some rest, Lorry. I should have remembered that you had just come home and must have been exhausted. Let's just say I don't exist in your room."
This time I agreed to his words. I moved slowly to touch the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, then suddenly realized, "What are you doing at my desk, Lyn?"
Lynton had asked me to ignore his presence in my room, but I still wondered what he was doing at my desk. The screeching sound is a bit loud in my ears. His right shoulder moved erratically. Sometimes moving quickly, sometimes slowly, and sometimes stopping suddenly before returning to moving quickly again. His position which turned his back on me further increased my curiosity.
"Your diary," he answered nonchalantly, without even bothering to turn his head. "Since it seems that today you will not write it, I will change your position to write this monumental event."
Monumental event, he said? I snorted. I changed my lying position to turn my back on Lynton. I kept that man busy writing because every time I told him to stop, he wouldn't. I suddenly realized when I saw several full sheets of his handwriting on some specific date in my diary as if the book were his too.
"Oh, right! I almost forgot." The screeching sound from the chair combined with Lynton's loud murmur shocked me so much that my body spontaneously turned towards him. "Nina was here at midday. But since you're not home yet, she's just going back home. She told me that she want you to take a walk together next weekend."
Take a walk. The idea suddenly felt like an oasis in the middle of an endless desert in my mind. On the other hand to unwind after a week of hard work, there is no harm in spending a day pampering myself, right?