A few minutes into our walk- more like Xavier's, because I was merely following his steps while I hanged on his shoulder like a weightless feather.
Watching Xavier move through the rows of tress and stepping into unknown territories, I soon realized this was nowhere near the destination of the palace.
The dread of the soon to begin mating ceremony fell upon me. What I avoided at all cost came running at me like a bloodthirsty warlock. This... Should be the road to the ceremonial grounds...
"Xavier..." I called out in a pathetically weak voice. My fingers going cold and sweaty as I felt more nervous than the minutes before my wedding night.
"Hm?" A nonchalant response was what I got.
Hesitantly, I ought to use my brain conversing with Xavier, hoping our earlier truce could at least... Be possible.
"If I do become your mate, will you kill me off?"
A little pause ensued as I waited for Xavier's reply, taking in the details of the forest morphing into a more mystical area than that of a normal forest.
Colorful trees, golden sand, the bountiful life energy and... that weird compelling energy that hit me with a sense of nostalgia.
It was drawing me... To Xavier. And I guess this b!tch could feel it, too.
Soon, this energy will be far from ignorable. Very compelling, dangerous, hateful, maddening yet... beautiful.
"Do not mistake a few fleeting feelings for such bold assumptions, Eme."
I understood what Xavier meant. He felt the compelling energy growing within. One that drew us in.
Yes, we could be mates. But under the laws, only those with stronger compatibility was to be chosen. Xavier could have this connection with others too. Only that, theirs would be stronger or lesser. However, having been through this whole bullshit, I could affirm with my full chest that Xavier and I- had the best compatibility. Or so it seemed. Proved otherwise by our love life.
"But," I pressed on.
"What if? How would you react? What would you do?" It was a pointless question knowing I was from the future and knew all these clearly. But somewhere within, I hoped for a better end, one with less blood, tragedy and pain. Or was my time regression episode yet another joke from fate?
While my thoughts ran about, it took me as a surprise when Xavier dropped me down from his shoulders. Knocking me slightly off balance.
His grip on my waist strong as he helped stabilize me.
Looking up, golden eyes locked with mine.
"On the basis of uncertainty..." Leaving a dramatic pause to whosoever gave a f@ck, Xavier stared at me in an eerie way before completing his sentence.
"As long as you do not come in my way, we have nothing on each other. More so if you would be obedient on your part."
Just a few words of simplicity. But tears welled up in my eyes. Yes, I should rejoice, I just got a runaway card from troubles. But I felt so conflicted at this moment.
All the stress... the misfortunes... just a damned deal and I could make them all poof away? Then what I suffered... was it all plain stupidity? Nothing important whatsoever?
A lifetime... It took me a f@cking lifetime to attain peace I could've gotten at the begining. Still it was never my fault... Or was it?
"F@ck you." I whispered, bawling my eyes out.
Through my blurred vision, covering my face with my hands, I could make out a slight view of Xavier's face. One that held pure bewilderment and confusion. A rare expression might I add.
While this whole logic was understandable, it was only when you looked at it from a different perspective. One I failed to until now... To Xavier, everyone were pieces of crap and could trip over a cliff and it wouldn't matter a damned bit even if the entire world tripped over to some abyss. Unless, of course, one misfortunate thing crossed his paths.
I was that misfortunate thing. And certainly, my end was horrible. F@ck my blind love, it was that damned factor it took to end me.
Now that I think about it... it's purely logical on his side. But this one moment of truth did not erase a lifetime of sadness, confusion and pain.
But above the tears, the shock I felt was more pronounced when I felt Xavier's hand patting my head slowly in an awkward motion.
Distracted from my thoughts a bit, I wiped some of my snot on my sleeves and reached over to touch his neck.
To which Xavier watched in probing silence.
"You okay, sire?" Surely, he hadn't caught a cold?
He then masked his face with a stiff smile and retracted his hand to which I breathed a sigh of relief from.
Who knows whether he would've twisted my neck off from then? Nope, Xavier wasn't comforting me. He was merely evaluating how fun it'd be to 'off with my head' with his hand.
Yup, sounds about right!