Before ironing the scrap papers, Rainier placed a towel on top of them in an effort to prevent burning them. He instinctively used the flatiron, pressing firmly so that there was no room for wrinkles to stay in the fabric, but this was not the case with the paper. He was successful in flattening them, but the crease could not be removed at this point in time.
"They are not that amazing. There is no need for you to do that."
After turning off the flatiron, he laid it down carefully and then continued showing me the sheets that had been flattened. "Have a look at the texture of these papers! Do you not think that your drawings look more artistic now?"
"Just take them if you badly want to keep them." I gave in to his demand and decided to tidy up my room instead of arguing. I straightened up my bed and gathered up the dirty clothing and additional crumpled paper that I had carelessly thrown on the floor earlier. Even though my dad spoiled me to the point where I seldom do any housework, I'm sorting through my mess right now to cover up how much he makes me nervous.
"Kai-kai," When he unexpectedly referred to me by my nickname, it gave me an excuse to delude myself into believing that we had become closer than I had initially assumed we could ever be. As I turned around, he was leaning against my study table. "Here's the homework for the past two days you skipped class," he said, patting some papers that he had put out on the table beside him. On his other hand, he held more stapled papers "... and this one is a copy of the mock admissions test that the school gave last year. I'll use it as your evaluation exam. Answer these tonight and we'll meet tomorrow for our first tutoring session. " As he neatly put those papers on top of my homework, he woke me out of my daydream and forced me to focus on what I needed to do.
"Are you really serious about tutoring me?" I could only mumble hopelessly.
"Your parents promised to pay me more than what I earn in my part-time jobs. It's a really nice gig, honestly."
When he brought up the monetary transaction involved in this favor he is doing for me, I was no longer capable of coming up with any reason to imagine that maybe—even just a little bit—also he's into me.
"But I'm dumb. Being my tutor is probably harder than all your part-time jobs combined. Are you really okay with that?" I warned him in a dejected tone.
"If I were to fail, it would simply mean that I'm the one who is stupid because I'm not smart enough to be able to teach you." His answer was too harsh on himself, but given his intelligence and the fact that he excels in everything he does, no one would ever actually believe such a phrase could be applied to him. He went on to say, "For the time being, let's see what we can do by working together. Then, let's judge how dumb we've become later on after we've tried everything. Would you be okay with that?"
I pressed my lips together and nodded. At that moment, something was welling up in my heart. That wasn't as fidgety as the butterflies he constantly gives me, that's for sure. In fact, I found it so soft and mellow. "Excuse me, but I have to use the restroom, so please make yourself at home here." I made a quick exit and went to the restroom to compose myself.
Internally, the tears wouldn't stop falling, and I found myself constantly wiping my cheeks in an effort to suppress my cries. I was able to keep myself from making any noise, and when things got too overwhelming, I turned on the water and let it run so that the sound of the running water would cover up any sounds that I might have made. In contrast to my usual emotional breakdowns, this one actually left rather good.
It's been torture living every day knowing I'm not good enough for my mother and the only thing I'm good at ended up becoming the reason why she got hurt. Yet for some reason, it was the first in a long time that I didn't feel small or disappointed in myself for not being smart... for not being adequate as he presented me a chance to change that.
...
We had a meal together for dinner. My dad cooked his specialty dishes. The entire time, he and Rainier engaged in conversation. Dad kept asking him what kinds of foods he loved eating so that he might prepare such dishes for him whenever Rainier visited our house. On the other hand, my mom, who prefers to be quiet when we dine together, also talked to him. She questioned Rainier about the university he intends to attend. Rainier said that he was still considering his options, and my mother gave him some recommendations for prestigious universities here and abroad. With all that noise, I was still able to eat in peace.
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home, Rainier?" my dad asked again while Rainier was putting on his shoes on the doorstep.
"Don't worry about it, uncle. I'll just take the bus." Rainier politely declined.
Then my dad pulled me just after I brushed my teeth. He gave me a paper gift bag that he had filled with some leftovers and handed it to me. "Rainier, Kai-kai said he will walk you to the bus station," Dad lied and I had no choice but to make what he said true. Then he ordered me to give those to Rainier because he believes that Rainier would politely refuse if he were the one who gave them to him.
"Take care on the way," Dad bid his goodbye as he and mom waved their hands in the doorway. As I was standing outside the door, my parents looked like any regular married couple. We looked unsettlingly normal. Rainier waved his hands back, "Thank you, uncle, auntie. I'll be here again tomorrow."
We used the elevator descending to the ground floor. We were the only ones who used the elevator the entire time and it made me feel very conscious of him.
"Your dad's very friendly and your mom's the strict one. It's odd, commonly it's the father who acts the "stern role" and the mothers are typically gentle. Your parents perfectly switched the norms, didn't they?" Rainier shared his first impression of my parents.
"Oh, you have no idea how many norms they defied. But, I swear they're 'perfectly normal'," I replied with sarcasm to his rhetorical question.
"Your parents look normal to me, don't get me wrong."
"I guess they're normal. Whose parents aren't?"
I wanted to dismiss the conversation but it continued even when we were walking side by side on the sidewalks.
"I think you resemble your dad but your personality surely takes after your mom."
I was so angry that I called him an idiot.
He chuckled in a low voice. "But it's true."
"Are you saying I'm not normal?"
"Nah! I'm saying you're fairly handsome and tall like your dad and you have a very fierce personality like your mom."
The illumination provided by the street lamps was very bright. After hearing that, it became quite clear to me that he had uttered those things in a casual manner. Nonetheless, the fact that he referred to me as handsome and tall made me feel so giddy.
"That's so offending. What fierce personality like my mom? Are you saying I have an intolerable attitude?" I couldn't help but act condescending toward my mother because I was nervous, despite knowing the fact that I don't have the most flattering personality like her.
"Yes, there are moments when I simply can't take it, like when you whacked me with the milk that I had given you at the clinic," she said. He laughed louder than before. "That hurts a lot, you know. It gave me a head bump here!" Rainier complained and showed me the part in his forehead I hit.
"Cute," I thought. He was just too adorable.
"Where? Let me see," I flirtatiously asked as I pick a few strands of his bangs to the side. "Hmmm. I can't find it."
He lightly brushed my hand off and fixed his bangs. "It already healed a long time ago, but it did hurt a lot." After that, he started walking at a faster pace, and as I was following behind him, I couldn't help but foolishly grin.
As we arrived at the bus stop, he continued his discussion about the homework as well as his evaluation exam. Because I was too preoccupied with how cute he was, I was only able to understand the latter portion of what he had said."...We can work on the homework later on, I'll teach you about it properly. You only need to concentrate on answering the evaluation exam tonight... You don't need to get worked up about it— just answer as many questions as you can, and don't worry if you get some of them incorrect."
I nodded. I was disappointed that I couldn't spend more time with him, but the bus had to go. Before he could leave, I reached out and simply put the bag in his hand. I warned him in a half-joking manner, saying, "Before you say "no," let me inform you that you have no right to refuse."
"Why do you assume I'd say no?" He gave a sneer before going to the bus. "See you tomorrow, Kai-kai!"
I watched as he went to sit by the window once the door was closed. He waved his hand through the glass pane, and I waved my hand back at him, unwilling to part with him if I could. I remained there till the bus drove Rainier away, fully aware of the fact that my feelings have just gone further than it should have.