Charles William was his name, being a dick was his game. he despises me. I had a sister 13 months older than me, Kacey Leanne, he absolutely thought was just great at everything, tough, fast, capable. he thought of me as weak, slow, smelly, lazy. then I had my baby sister 4 yrs younger then I, he didn't think much of, but she had mom's wings wrapped tight around her. mom didn't go far without Rachel Michelle in tow.
Kristina Marie , that's what I was named. a beautiful name I always thought highly of. but as it rang across the lips of Chuck's weird Donald Trump oh face, I cringed at the sound. I dried and put my nightgown on, knowing it was going to be an end to my day. he had taken his belt off and spanked my bare bottom then made me sit on the stool in the little trailer bathroom for the rest of the evening. it would ache my butt cheeks and legs, skinny as I was there was little to cushion the hardness of porcelain and plastic. my legs were barely long enough to tiptoe the floor if I was to sit and reach. I hated the feeling of being ousted. no one stopped the punishment, and more often then not, they'd go to bed leaving me to ponder whether or not to go on to bed. oddly enough, I never went the bed. I just crapped my pants with out warning, all the damn time. in fact at the worst possible moments, I was sure to get a chance to embarrass myself, my mom, my family. the truth is, I feel like I never felt it. it just happened, then the consequences. so I'm gonna become a bit timid as my life progresses. and chucks dislike for me, only grew.
I remember when I was eleven, running away. the plot was built around a Julia Roberts movie I had seen called "pretty woman" I was going to become a prostitute and find a rich man to save me from the misery I called my childhood. the name calling the smells the looks the spankings the loneliness would all be a thing of the past as my "Edward" would love the pain away. needing me, wanting me! loving, ME!
well I didn't get the pretty woman ending, nor adventure. I accomplished only to piss chuck off to no extent, worry my mom half to death, get my picture on the evening news, and get cps involved.
the one thing I learned from the eleven hour, couple hundred miles, hitchhiking adventure, was my capability to do it. chuck said I was not able to do anything, well, I sure the hell did that, didn't i? to this day I think that's what pissed him off the most.
the whippings, however continued, but the crappy pants, did not! even Kacey looked at me different. in awe as I whispered about how I had smoked cigarettes, and put my thumb out hitching a ride from 3 different people. but never far. in fact I think back wondering what the hell these people were thinking not taking me straight to the nearest police station. yes I lied and said I was 17, but I'm not sure if it was too convincing. I remember being so excited that I kept the stories going talking about a fantasy life that wasn't my own. (of course I left pretty woman for myself)
my sister just started at me in disbelief. after years of looking up to her and her confidence, I had the floor for my 5 minutes of fame.
Kacey however was the only one who thought my Adventure to be a thing of amusement and wonder, mom and Chuck, Charles William, not so much.
Charles followed my every move, I couldn't fart without him smelling it. he wasn't able to take the rejection of the police officer whom returned me home. I told the cop how much I wasn't loved, that I felt like chuck hated me because I was too lazy, I ran funny and he thought I was too weak to do anything.
the police officer looked at me through his rear view mirror as I sobbed about the years gone by. the time we went swimming and it was too hard for me to pull myself up on the dock. chuck said for Kacey to leave me to do it for myself. I was drowning as my muscles aches till they burnt, I started to panic. I didn't have the strength to pull myself out. Kacey looked at me with pain in her face. she knew it was too much. finally chuck was overruled by an angry mom asking what the hell was going on. Kacey lifted me out. I could feel her relief as adrenaline had her enough strength to get ten of me out if necessary. she whispered, "I'm sorry sister," I loved her so much, I knew why she couldn't grab me sooner. I knew....
I went on to tell more stories to the officer, but leaving a very bad one out, as I didnt want anyone but chuck to look bad. ...